Tag Archives | God
May 19, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Devotion: Find God In Nature

From the NIV Stewardship Study Bible:

Today’s reading: Psalm 66:1-20

In Psalms 65 and 66, the psalmist recounts all that God has done and all that he has created. In jubilant psalms of praise, the psalmist describes God’s “awesome and righteous deeds” (Ps 65:5), God’s power displayed in his creation, God’s abundance in caring for the land and watering it, God’s bounty in providing for humankind and animals alike. “Come and see what God has done,” he says in Psalm 66. “his awesome deeds for mankind” (Ps 66:5). Physician and author J. Matthew Sleeth invites us to share the healing that comes from bearing witness to the miracle of God’s creation:

When the psalmists advise us how to heal spiritually, they do not tell us to purchase a television, car, house, self-help book, or exercise equipment. God, they say, is to be found in the natural world that he created, a world filled with the grandeur, beauty, and peace that are so often lacking in our material world.

What remedy does God prescribe for our souls? [Quiet] waters and green pastures (see Ps 23:2). Find a place where there is nothing man-made in sight. Sit or lie down. Be still, and know who God is (see Ps 46:10). Do not pray. Do not worry. Do not think. Your house, your cell phone, and your new kitchen do not give glory to God. The Bible states that if it is God-made (streams, mountains, birds, trees), it praises God … When only God-made things surround you, you are in a fellowship of praise.

If you live in a city, try to find one small area that consists of only God-made things. If you must, lie on your stomach and stare at a one-square-foot area. If there is noise or highway sound, put your hands over your ears. You will hear the sound of your own pulse and breath. That’s okay. And that’s the point. You are God-made. We have forgotten that we have far more in common with a honeybee than we do with our SUV or DVD …

Perhaps many of our problems, including those of depression and anxiety, are warning signals that we are living a lifestyle that God does not sanction or want us to lead. The response to mental pain and discomfort should be to seek restoring connection with God. In seeking quiet moments, green pastures, and still waters, we may find just what our souls need.

Do you know in which direction the Milky Way traverses the sky? As the phases of the moon progress, does the light go from right to left, or left to right? Can you identify a greater number of trees or cars? If the Bible says God knows every flower and bird, why do we spend so much effort knowing the names of man-made items? Maybe we’re paying attention to the wrong things. Maybe this is why life seems so hard. If this is our Father’s world, maybe we should pay more attention to it.

May 18, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Have Your Way

My soul is crying out
My heart is broken down
The love I held is gone
No longer rising with the sun
But have Your way

I don’t need to know
I don’t need to understand
I know Your love is true
On Your promises I stand
So have Your way

May 13, 2012

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What's It Worth?

Walk Me Down

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” – Matthew 19:14

I was at the birthday dinner of my very good friend Roxanne Lee (check out her co-blog My Doolally), and was talking to another good friend, Carlos Antonio about his kids Bella and Hannah, two of the sweetest little ladies I’ve met. He was telling me about how he had a moment with his six year old daughter when she very innocently asked him if he would do her wedding because he’s a pastor, and Carlos said, “Yes, if you want me to.” Then she realized that would be a problem because he wouldn’t be able to walk her down the aisle if he was standing at the minister’s spot. Carlos, being the sensitive guy that he is, understandingly told her, “Bella, if you want me to officiate, I’ll officiate. If you want me to walk you, of course I’ll walk you. When you decide, just tell me what you want.” All of a sudden, Bella started running to him crying, hugged him tightly and said, “I want you to walk me down the aisle!” Carlos’ eyes were moistening as he recounted how they both embraced each other and cried together as he reassured her, “I would be honored walk you down the aisle.”

Girls are really different. I mean, who thinks of getting married at 6??? When I was six years old I had more important things on my mind, like saving the world from Cobra Commander for example. (If you don’t know what Cobra is click here.)

As I remember Carlo’s story about Bella, his daughter, I’m struck by the uniqueness of her concern. Many times, when I hear girls talk about their dream wedding, it’s about the gown (or the designer of the gown), the ring, it’s about the kind of place, about the color scheme, how many guests, and the many romantic touches we all love. Bella, six-year old Bella, even as she excitedly talked about her wedding that’s at least a decade from now, was thinking about her pastor and her father. I’m amazed at the depth of her maturity, that even when it came to her dream big day, she was thinking of the spiritual aspect as well as the relational.

What a reminder for me. What a reminder for us. Do we, in our dreams, ambitions, goals, and desires think of the spiritual and relational? Or are we looking at thing that makes us most proud and most insecure at the same time, the mirror, too much?

Walk me down this life, Father. Walk me to Your purpose, where there is unconditional love and fullness of joy.

May 7, 2012

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What's It Worth?

Love Is As Love Does

I’ve been using the jetlag from my recent trip to accustom myself to new sleeping habits. I’m now in bed around 10-10:30pm and up by 5am. Since I’m not used to sleeping so much I’ve been finding myself up at 12am, going back to bed, then up again at 3, then back, or, like today, I just stayed up and read.

While reading earlier I came across a refreshing take on love by author Sherryl Paul. It’s not original. It is basically what the Bible teaches us love to be in 1 Corinthians 13, but it’s refreshing to read a more unselfish picture of love than the ones we are used to receiving.

She talks about the “delusion of love” propagated by mainstream media and how we’re chasing a feeling that is bound to fade. Instead she says:

“Love is action. Love is tolerance. Love is learning your partner’s love language and then expressing love in a way that he can receive. Love is giving. Love is receiving. Love is plodding through the slow eddies of a relationship without jumping ship into another’s churning rapids. Love is recognizing that it’s not your partner’s job to make you feel alive, fulfilled, or complete; that’s your job.”

She then follows this up with a classic from The Road Less Traveled:

“Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love I am also implying that real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real love often occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel loving.”

I was hit by the reminder that true love is most real when it is given despite the lack of romantic feeling and even despite pain. She has more to say on love and the need for a shift in our thinking. You can read it for yourself in the link I included above. I do want to highlight what she says about choosing a mate: find someone with the most underrated quality of character.

Character. Let’s look that word up and discover what it means, that we may recognize it when it’s there and know when it’s not, that we may teach our children to pursue good character and not passing feelings. Even further, let us draw near to God and discover His character. He loves in word and deed, and His perfect love casteth out fear. (1 John 4:18)

May 6, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Your Word Is True

I cannot ignore Your Word
It’s punishments,
It’s promises

I cannot step off the edge
Without gravity,
Without a fall

Yet, in fear, I can rest
In Your mercy,
In Your peace

I cannot ignore Your word
Your promise of love,
Your gift of grace

May 4, 2012

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What's It Worth?

Ripen

My view of the world is changing. I think it comes with age, with exposure, and, hopefully, maturity. Many people go through life collecting memories and experiences but do not mature, meaning, their life lessons didn’t cause them to ripen to a delicious fruit for the glory of God and the blessing of their fellowman.

Rather, they have become spoiled.

I wrote about this in another article:

“Spoiled people are those who have become unfit to face realities and recognize the beauty of life.

A spoiled person will be unfit to contribute positively to society. Spoiled people will fail at being good fathers or mothers, they’ll make terrible partners, they will be selfish friends and relatives, and they won’t live fulfilled lives – all the while blaming someone or something else.

Being spoiled is not about having a lot of things; there are many wealthy people who aren’t spoiled and many poor people who are. It’s about the attitudes and mindsets we adopt that make us unfit to fulfill the purpose of God in our lives.”

The beautiful thing about being human is that we have a special kind of life. We do not merely exist. We have a soul and spirit. Unlike fruit, that is wasted when rotten, we can transcend the rottenness of our current situation; we can go beyond the limitations and the baggage we have collected. We can ripen into something sweet instead of rot towards bitterness.

How?

I believe everyone’s path is different but here’s what I like to remind myself:

Store my joys and remember my blessings that I may always be grateful. Strengthen my faith with the promises of His Word. And when I’m afraid, or lonely, or in pain, I simply say, “Father, I’m afraid. Please protect me. I’m lonely. Please keep me company. I’m in pain. Please comfort me. Help my experiences mature me, ripen me, to the person You want me to be.”

If there is anything my life has taught me, while there’s no one formula that fits all, there’s one God that does.

April 18, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

I Think About Such Things

You stay when others run
You’re here despite of me
For these my heart sings
I think about such things

You comfort me in accusation
You bless when others take
You heal the painful stings
I think about such things

You’ve paid my every debt
Thought others won’t forget
To You my soul clings
I think about such things

You defend me from lies
And with blessings surprise
Oh, the benefits Your love brings
I think about such things

April 14, 2012

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Brothers Bonifacio

All By Grace

And what turns every end, every close, every heartbreak, every loss, and every finish beautiful? The love, forgiveness, and redemption, and hope found in grace – God’s grace that turns any experience into a catapult to bring you to where He wants to take you. – The Beautiful End

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9

I’m very grateful for my family. I’m grateful for my Papa, who has shown me what it means to have strength, passion, and faith. I’m grateful for my Mama, who is a great example of gentleness, kindness, humility, and generosity. I’m grateful for my older brother, Joseph, who is intelligent, wise and insightful. And how can I not be grateful for my younger brother, Joshua, who has shown me what it means to love others and find ways to enjoy life. Even the newest addition to our family, Vito, my mom’s dog, has been a pleasure to have – even if it means my allergies flaring whenever I’m over.

For many people, especially those who don’t know my family too well, this picture of a pastor’s loving family, a strong marriage, three boys that include another pastor, a businessman, and Mr. Congeniality, and finally, a cute dog, may seem ideal. Some may see this as an example to follow, while others may see this as an unreachable ideal. But I’d like to take the time to direct the attention away from my family and point it where it belongs, to our Father. I think this is important before we go forward with this series because underneath all these funny, sad, meaningful, simple and profound experiences, is God’s faithfulness.

The Celebrity Crisis
One of the problems with our celebrity culture is how we put humans on pedestals. We have mini-idols in disguise (which is really just an idol). We admire them, watch their lives and follow them. We have crushes on them. We want to be like them. We want to be with them. We wish our wife looked more like her or our husband was more like him. We wonder what they’re buying and wish we could afford their purchases. We want to wear what they’re wearing; somehow believing that maybe someone will desire us as much as we desire them. We wish we were as smart, or made the same business decisions, or as lucky. We make them special in our life. We make them important. They’re special enough to Google over and over and watch videos of them on YouTube or Vimeo. They’re important enough to influence our opinions, our habits, our thinking, and our decisions.

The problem with this is we unconsciously create an unrealistic expectation of others and of ourselves. When this idealized human being becomes the standard, then people who don’t meet that standard are not given as much importance, and at the same time we strive for that standard, becoming proud when we meet it and discouraged when we don’t. We have put so much pressure on ourselves. We’re pressured to have money. We’re pressured to spend. We’re pressured to be stylish. We’re pressured to have a loving family. We’re pressured to have cool friends. We’re pressured to have conquests. We’re pressured to lose our virginity. We’re pressured to keep our virginity. We’re pressured to have a six-pack. We’re pressured to drink a six-pack. We’re pressured to follow rules. We’re pressured to break rules. We’re pressured to save and invest. We’re pressured to shop and splurge. We’re pressured to be religious. We’re pressured to be relevant. We’re pressured to meet the standards of our idols.

We’re pressured to become an air-brushed, fully-sponsored, cosmetically-altered, PR-aided person whose smartest lines were read from a script, and whose best moments took more than one take.

In short, we’re never going to be like that. No one will. Not even the real people behind our idols.

You might say, “I’m not pressured at all, David”. Then why is there this never-ending need to be validated? Why is there no contentment? Why is there no satisfaction? Why do we feel left out when we miss the must-sees and must -dos? Years from now, is anyone really going to remember who went to what, who earned how much when, who had what bag, or whether you were hot in high school? And if so, will it really matter?

I thought this was a post about your family?

It is.

As I write about my family, as I share the lessons and experiences, I don’t want anyone to think that we’re special because of who we are. I don’t want to paint an idealized picture or be put on a pedestal. We are no different from you. We’re special because our Father, who is also your Father, loves us.

We can be selfish just like everyone else. We can be prideful (maybe even more than most). We can be critical, unkind, and mean. We can be lacking and poor. We can be lustful and greedy. We can be impatient and grumble. We can be hurt and empty. There have been many arguments and fights. There have been times of desperation and shame. There have been times of lack and want. There have been moments of insecurity. There are many many mistakes, some known, some private. There have been failed businesses and broken relationships. There’s been alcohol, drugs, debt, and battles.

It’s all there.

I remember a specific period of my life where a bottle of vodka or sake sat on my bedside table beside my Bible. I would read and drink myself to sleep. I’ve given up the bottle. Maybe that’s why I have a hard time sleeping. Haha!

I’m sure you have your own challenges. I’m sure you have your own needs, your own dreams on hold and unanswered prayers. I’m sure you have your own questions and doubts. We all are trying to reconcile the grand purpose in our hearts with the limitations of our reality, and we’re all fighting to overcome.

It Is A Gift
When I think about my life, when I think about my family, all our mistakes, and our blessings despite our mistakes, I’m reminded of this idea: it is a gift.

I just celebrated my birthday, and despite what some people think, no one deserves a gift on his or her birthday. Gifts are given not earned. We don’t have a right to gifts, but we can enjoy them when they are given to us. It’s absurd for anyone to feel bad for not getting a gift. If you were entitled to it, it would be a right. If you earned it, it would be a reward. But gifts are special because they are given freely.

Life, everyone single one of our lives, is a gift, and it is powered by another gift: grace. We don’t deserve it yet we cannot earn it. We don’t need to prove to anyone that we have it. We only need to accept it to walk in it.

What makes my family’s group of broken individuals whole? Grace. What makes two selfish people love one another? Grace. What covers over a multitude of sins and allows for forgiveness? Grace. What frees us from our addictions? Grace. What allows a poor family to give generously? Grace. What allows some very insecure people to lead others? Grace.

We have been given a gift. We cannot boast.

You have been offered that gift too, and I look forward to someday reading your own stories of grace.

March 24, 2012

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Brothers Bonifacio

Broken Pieces

There is a story my family likes to recount about my very first LEGO toy. I don’t know why my parents would give a 3-year-old LEGO but they did. (No wonder I grew up so fast!) Anyway, my dad gave me a LEGO police station, built it, and turned it over to me to enjoy. It didn’t take long before my clumsy kid hands crushed the LEGO helicopter sitting on the helipad. So I ran to my dad and asked him to fix it. He took the pieces, rebuilt the helicopter, and handed it back to me. As I was playing, again, I broke the helicopter, and ran back to him. This pattern of my dad building, me breaking, and my dad fixing and handing it back to me pretty much continued the rest of play time. I guess he learned his lesson, because years later, when he bought my younger brother Lincoln Logs, he actually glued the pieces together to prevent us from breaking it and losing the pieces. The funny thing was, we ended up not playing with the Lincoln Logs that often. There was not much we could do with it. All the pieces were fixed. It just sat at the top of a shelf, never broken but never enjoyed, gathering dust until it was given away.

LEGO, on the other hand, would be a constant item on my wish list for the rest of my childhood.

What was the difference between LEGO and Lincoln Logs? What made one memorable and the other ignored? It actually had nothing to do with the toys themselves, but everything to do with relationship. With the Lincoln Logs, my dad came, saw the pieces all over the floor, and conquered with the help of superglue. But with the LEGO set, my dad was beside me, enjoying with me, and willing and able to fix whatever I broke. See, it really wasn’t about the toys. Toys are only popular until a new one comes out. They break, their colors fade, and can be replaced. It was about enjoying playtime with my dad. It was about being on the floor with him, making silly sound effects and imagining a story together. It was about relationship.

It still is.

Sometimes we see people who seem to have it “put together”, and we admire them and wish we could be the same way. Sometimes that’s how we are with our kids or the people around us, we don’t want them to get hurt, hurt others, or even hurt us, so we do our best to “superglue” them in place, to secure their actions so no one gets damaged. Sometimes, in our effort to make life “right” for ourselves and the people around us, we miss the point of things. It’s like the teacher who thought school was about grades, when it’s really about education, or the businessman who thought that his life was about making money, when it’s really about stewarding value. It’s not that grades, or money, or rules are bad, they’re actually very good, and we do need them, but they’re not what life is about. What are all these things worth without people to learn with, enjoy with, and protect?

Life is about relationships, and in relationships, rules will get broken, formulas will fail, principles will be tested, and faith will be stretched. Loved ones will get sick, we will get hurt, there will be suffering, and definitely sacrifice will be involved. We can respond by striving to control everything, affixing the pieces, taking the rules and enforcing them like superglue on Lincoln Logs.

But that can only go so far.

Rules don’t free criminals. They jail them. Standards don’t uplift the poor. They marginalize them. Judges don’t acquit sinners. They condemn them. If you’re like me, guilty, poor, and sinful, none of these offer any hope to hold on to. But for God SO LOVED the world, that He made a way for us to live in relationship with Him. There’s hope because through His Son, we have a way to trust, to love, to communicate with our Father and receive forgiveness, that we may learn to believe with others, love unconditionally, share our lives, and be ready to restore.

My dad used to tell my brothers and I that at the end of our lives, nothing will matter more than the relationships we cultivated. Not our achievements, not our businesses, not our critics, nor the things we accumulated, but the lives we shared. Most important is our relationship with God. Not only a religious or intellectual understanding of a heavenly being, but a God we can spend time with. He wanted us to catch this so that we would not lose sight of what really counts in life.

I no longer live in the safety and security of life under my parents’ roof, and every day I wake up to the challenges that come with being human. I’m sure you all can relate. For some of us the situation is financial, maybe there are bills to pay or dreams to afford. For some, it’s emotional, maybe a broken heart, loneliness, or rejection. For others, it may have something to do with health, maybe a sickness or an injury. For some it’s depression, or an accusation, or the pressure to succeed. It could be million things and it’s different for everyone. But whatever it is, whatever the pieces of your life that are falling apart, we have a Father we can run to, and He’ll take you in His hands, He’ll heal you, and build you back up, and in His joy, walk with you in loving relationship.

March 23, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Fall Afresh

Awaken my soul, come awake
To hunger, to seek, to thirst
Awaken first love, come awake
And do as you did, at first

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

Awaken my soul, come awake
To worship with all your strength

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow

Come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade

Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow

March 17, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

I Think About You

When I think about goodness
When I think about mercy
I think about You

When I think about power
When I think about grace
I think about You

I think about You
When the storms start to rage
I think about You
When the sun shines on my face

I think about You
Through dark and lonely evenings
I think about You
Because Your love fills this place

March 7, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Mystery

Why?

Why do You do things
the way that You do?

Why take me, broken as I am
to make me all brand new?

I don’t know…
I don’t know why
You would die
for me…
It’s a mystery

Why?

Why do You love those who hurt You
and make their dreams come true?

Why do you stay forever faithful
despite all the things I do?

I don’t know…
I don’t know why
You would die
for me…
It’s a mystery

My heart can’t contain
A love so high and wide
My mind cannot grasp
Your amazing grace
It’s all too grand for me
I’m too small to understand
So I bow in humble thanks
To the wonders of Your mystery

March 3, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Come to Me

I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know

I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

Don’t look to the right or to the left, keep your eyes on me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved
Ohhhh

I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Heyyyy
Just come to me, come to me
Cause I’m all that you need

February 29, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Little Of Me

Let only that little be left of me
whereby I may name thee my all.
Let only that little be left of my will
whereby I may feel thee on every side,
and come to thee in everything,
and offer to thee my love every moment.
Let only that little be left of me
whereby I may never hide thee.
Let only that little of my fetters be left
whereby I am bound with thy will,
and thy purpose is carried out in my life—and that is the fetter of thy love.

- Rabindranath Tagore

February 28, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Everlasting God

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary

Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary

You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles

January 7, 2012

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Music 2012: You Are More

There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide

She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”

But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try

But don’t you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you built,
But what He built to forgive you,
And what He built to make you know.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.

You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.

January 4, 2012

10



What's It Worth?

Propositions

Here’s another long one. Happy New Year! May you all have a blessed 2012.

The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! – Henry Ward Beecher

“For each new morning with its light,For rest and shelter of the night,For health and food, for love and friends,For everything Thy goodness sends.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Sailing Into the New Year
The night was bright with fireworks sparkling like twinkling stars. The build up towards the New Year had begun. Standing on the helipad atop 50+ stories of the Pacific Plaza South Tower, I could see a 360° view of Manila’s celebrations. Everywhere I looked, the excitement for something new, maybe a new start, maybe a new phase, maybe a new promise was evident.

I was excited too. I still am.

Up on the helipad was an older Australian woman who asked, “Who of you was born on the year of the rat?” I told her I was but didn’t know much about it. “This is going to be a great year for you!” I told her that I wasn’t superstitious, that my belief is that your year is either great or terrible depending on what you choose to highlight in your life and what you choose to remember. I choose to remind myself of my Father’s goodness.

It’s true.

The grateful will always feel blessed. They don’t have to try. The ungrateful or forgetful will always pity their situation. They, also, don’t have to try. Just earlier I was feeling that self-pity coming over me and I decided to stop, to pray and list down the many many things I’m grateful for. That’s the only way to win that fight: to remember and be grateful to God, for every big and small thing, even the painful things, and to never take anything for granted. Taking something for granted is like when we have something really special or important but we fail to notice it, or worse don’t treat it as special. In relationships, taking people for granted is not appreciating what they are there for, or have to offer, or can do, thinking they will always be around.

They won’t.

Relationships are not fixed points. We are like boats on the sea, either sailing together on the same direction or drifting apart.

Life Offering
A proposition is something brought forth. It is an offering. Every day we have the privilege to bring forth our lives and bring our Creator glory by offering the best of our lives. I said it was a privilege because it is. To be alive is a privilege, and the only thing necessary to enjoy this privilege is to realize just how valuable your life is, and that there are people, whether you or they realize, needing and waiting for your life’s value proposition.

Our Life’s Value Proposition is something about our life that helps meet the needs of others, especially the needs of those we’ve chosen to love. And love is a choice. When we choose to love someone, we choose to offer to him or her the best of us.

Where do we start? We start where we already are.

Are you intelligent? Then enlighten our darkened minds.
Can you sing? Then soothe our restless soul.
Can you paint or sculpt or perform? Then inspire us with the message of your work.
Are you a father or a mother? Then introduce to the world a new generation of selfless stewards.
Are you a son, a daughter, or a lover? Then never stop showing your appreciation.
Are you rich? Then deal generously with us.
Are you lonely? Then welcome the isolated among us.
Are you a leader? Then show us the way through service.
Are you mature? Then be patient with us.
Do you eat too much? Then start feeding us.
Are you lonely? Then welcome the isolated among us.
Are you strong? Then protect us.
Do you like to cry? Then start crying for our dying.
Are you poor? Then show us how to endure in hope.
Are you sensitive? Then show us kindness.
Are you impatient? Then be impatient with corruption.
Are you hurting? Then empathize with our pain.
Are you dying? Then remind us, the living, to embrace life.

Whoever you are, wherever you’re coming from, you’re in a position to start offering your Life’s Value Proposition. Look past yourself. Look up at your Father with gratefulness, He has blessed you so. Look out to the world with purpose; you have a role only you can fill. Your life’s offering is unique because there’s no one like you. If you don’t offer the best of you, then people won’t enjoy the best, or worse, they’ll suffer your worst.

Bon Voyage
Last year, I literally sailed into the New Year. I’m not on a boat this time but the wind is blowing me in a new direction, and as it does I write this to encourage us that 2012 will be our best year yet, as we not only achieve our own dreams, but through the propositions of our lives we will help others achieve theirs.

Wherever you’re sailing to, whether shaken in a storm or enjoying auspicious skies, I wish you a good journey. Don’t quit when it’s hard. Don’t settle when it’s easy. Don’t take the still calm for granted nor curse the storm. Be grateful that you’re here and always remember: “you can never go wrong with the priceless things. They’ll always be a steal.”

December 16, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

A Moments Indulgence

I ask for a moment’s indulgence to sit by thy side. The works
that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.

Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,
and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.

Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and murmurs; and
the bees are plying their minstrelsy at the court of the flowering grove.

Now it is time to sit quite, face to face with thee, and to sing
dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.

- Rabindranath Tagore

November 27, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Whenever

Whenever I’m lonely
I think about the days
When I was all alone
With just the promise of Your face

Whenever I’m empty
I remind myself to praise
Then You still my heart
And fill me with Your grace

All Your promises are true
All my hopes are found in You
For You are perfect love
And You cast out all fear

Let me see Your light in the heat of the sun
Let me see Your blessing in the storm
Let me see Your power in the shaking
Let me see Your hand transform

November 7, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Job 33:14

For God does speak—now one way, now another—
though no one perceives it.

November 1, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Psalm 121:1-8

A song of ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

October 31, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

October 15, 2011

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What's It Worth?

A Pottery Lesson

A few months ago, I attended Mia’s exhibit. She, along with other potters, was displaying her latest work. I remember seeing the variety and, being the curious cat that I am, started asking the artists the whats, whys, and hows of their work. After listening to them, I started being able to recognize the specific nuances of each artist. They didn’t have to try to show that a certain piece was theirs – you just had to look at it and you would know that it was from the same set of hands and the same soul.

Coming home from that exhibit and remembering the conversations with Mia, I thought about the creation story in Genesis. I remember first hearing the story of man’s creation as a child, and I remember imagining God’s hands reaching down into the ground, scooping up some dirt, and expertly forming man in His image. I would imagine God look into a mirror then at His creation and make the necessary adjustments.

Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. – Genesis 2:7

Of course God probably never had to look at a mirror. He’s God after all. But the point of the story is clear: He wanted us to be just like Him.

I guess the reason He wants us to be like Him is because the Bible says that He is love and to be like Him is to love, and God wanted someone to be in love with. I’m not a theologian or a Bible expert. I’m actually not very good at doing many of the things it says. I’m learning though, admittedly very slowly, because I’m learning to love. And somehow I feel that He’s taking my dirt and forming art with the same loving hands and the same loving soul.

October 13, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Thursday Fast: Prayer for Strength

Please come to me now. I miss our time, the way it was when I was a child.
Please speak to me now. I seek Your voice, to guide me once again.

I know there’s a place for me in Your heart.
I know that my purpose is safe in your plan.
Help me once again to stand
Help me once again to fight
Help me with Your presence Lord
Help me with Your might

September 11, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Your Holy Light

Your Holy Light shines on me
Revealing my sickness and hypocrisy
See my emptiness
See the cracks
See the weakness
See the lack

Your Holy Light shines on me
Revealing Your purpose and my path
I see the promise
I see the land
I see the blessing
I see Your hand

September 4, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

September 4: Morning Prayer

Little blessings now revealed
Out of promises once sealed
A grateful heart now rests
Despite the beatings and the tests
I now can more than cope
I trust in Your sure hope

September 2, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Psalm 20

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the LORD grant all your requests.

Now this I know:
The LORD gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
LORD, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!

August 5, 2011

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What's It Worth?

The Passionate Lover

I wasn’t planning to write today. I’ve been so busy working I haven’t really had time to think through a post. But sometimes I read something that just triggers my thinking. I just read a post entitled Kawawa Naman si God which translates to “Poor God” or “Pitiful God”, and the author went on to describe the different things that God has done to reach out to us because our sins take us so far away, culminating in the ultimate sacrificial act of His dying on the cross. The whole point of the article is that God’s love is so amazing – which I completely agree with.

I am amazed by God’s love too. He has really shown me much much more than I deserve. But here’s where I don’t agree: I don’t believe God is KAWAWA (which again translates to “pitiful” or ” “poor”). In fact, the Bible says in Hebrews 12:2, that He endured the cross and scorned its shame “for the JOY set before him.”

To Jesus, we were, we are, His JOY, and that’s why He died for us and that’s why He continues to reach out to us. He isn’t a pathetic guy trying all sorts of things to win a girl. He’s God, who doesn’t need us but because of His love for us, it’s His JOY to reach out to us. There’s nothing pitiful about someone doing something He enJOYs.

If there’s anyone who is pitiful or kawawa, it’s us.

It’s like a royal prince of incredible beauty, love, kindness, strength, and wealth trying to win the heart of a dirty, poor, lost and lonely tramp. She has more to lose than he does. She’s the pitiful one.

I’m that dirty, poor, lost, and lonely tramp. I’m the pitiful one with all my mistakes and sins. So I run to God, not a pitiful God, but a beautiful, loving, kind, strong, and wealthy God who for some reason sees me as His joy.

And that reason is LOVE.

A guy passionately pursuing a lady he loves is pitiful and pathetic to everyone, but himself. That’s because he loves her in a greater way than the others. He will do more, try more, and offer more than anyone whose love is less. He will even suffer more, and by the way the word “passion” means “suffering”. This is also where we get the concept of the “Passion of Christ” or the “Suffering of Christ”. Yes it was hard. Yes it was painful. Yes it was shameful. But it wasn’t pitiful. It was passionate.

It was so passionate the centurion looking up at Him at the cross didn’t say, “Poor guy” but instead he said, “Surely He was the Son of God” (Matthew 27:54). You don’t say that about someone pitiful. You say that to someone who commands honor.

Love is a personal thing. It doesn’t have to make sense to others for it to make sense to you. In fact, it won’t make sense unless they love the same. This is why it’s impossible to fully comprehend God’s love, because we don’t and can never love Him as He loves us, so it won’t ever make as much sense to us as it does to Him. To us, God is kawawa because we feel bad for Him that He can relentlessly pursue people who stubbornly turn away (including myself). But what’s amazing is that He doesn’t pity Himself because He is chasing His joy, and even more amazing, like the lost sheep, the lost coin, the pearl, and the treasure in the field, to God, we’re worth it.

Now on the flip-side, are we responding to His love in obedience? My personal answer is, not always. Many times I find myself loving something that turns out to be meaningless. And that’s why I’m the poor man who is so grateful for my Father in Heaven who, despite that, is passionately in love with me.

July 30, 2011

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What's It Worth?

The Happy Waterboy

“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ – Matthew 25:23

I was reminded of this thought while on my way home from yesterday’s Habitat for Humanity board meeting. I mentioned it before in a post entitled Beautifully Unfair where I talked about how sometimes society unfairly rewards people and recognizes many people who don’t deserve it and fails to recognize the people who really do most of the work. At the end my conclusion was:

“But I’m not complaining. Because now I see things as beautifully unfair. Beautifully unfair in our favor. It’s our role to take that and help the least and greatest of us realize that life is beautifully unfair in their favor too.”

As I gave this more thought, I remembered the NBA Finals, and how the Miami Heat players, particularly the big 3: Lebron James, Dwayne Wayde, and Chris Bosh, were so dejected walking out of the court as losers. These were 3 of the highest paid (each make at least $16,000,000 a year not including endorsements and other deals), most celebrated, most talented, and most recognized players in the NBA and they were walking away destroyed. Contrast this with the Dallas Mavericks water boy who makes maybe around $29,000 a year which is less than .2% of the salaries of the star players I just mentioned (yes, that’s decimal before the 2!), with only his mopping and wiping skills to showcase, and while we see him on tv, no one knows his name. But when Dallas won he was a champion, and he was jumping up and down with Nowitzki, Kidd, and Chandler. He was just as happy because he was also a winner.

I’d rather be the happy waterboy in a winning team any day, because being the star player of a losing team, as much as they would like to defend it, is torture. Who wants to be called the greatest player that never won a championship?

Ask yourself, are you the best worker in a losing company? Are you the best leader in a broken government? Are you the all-powerful patriarch of a home of brats? Are you the best actor in a bad movie? Are you the most decent citizen in a dying country?

Again, I’d rather be the happy waterboy in a winning team. I’d rather be jumping for joy at the buzzer than rationalizing my superiority in the press conference.

Being the star player means getting the perks. It means getting the praise, the respect, and the gifts. Being the waterboy means you get all the dirt, you wipe the floors, pick-up sweaty towels, and serve Gatorade.

But the game is about winning not being the star player. We need more people willing to serve, and less people trying to look good. We need more hands, less faces. We need more heart, less poses. We need these because we need to all work together if we’re going to win.

Of course, the best spot of all is to be the star player of a winning team, the one that wins the championship, that garners the most valuable player award. This spot gets the most praise yet also has the most responsibility and requires the most work to fulfill. And while others aspire for this position, I’m learning to make an effort (though my pride gets in the way a lot) to step back and make room, for my Father in Heaven to get the ball, take His shot, and watch Him make it every time.

But do you know what really sucks? The waterboy of the losing team. Now that sucks. So get up and do something.

July 4, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Number 6:24-27

May the Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.

June 19, 2011

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What's It Worth?

Definitions (Part 1)

This is my Fathers Day Post, though it is not exclusively about fathers. It’s a post about one very important role they play, and it’s also about reason, the reasons “why” we do things, but mostly, it’s a post about meaning.

Why am I writing this?

I have three reasons:

1. As a reminder to myself, an exercise to keep taking stock of my life and to purposefully live a life of significance. I’ve realized that I’ve used too many words loosely. It’s sad because I know I have a gift, and it’s meant to build others up. So it’s important, when I take stock of my life, to check and see if the gifts God has given me are being maximized. I know the weight of my words, and while I try to use them to encourage others through this blog, I’ve also used them to devastating effect. It’s one more item on my looooong list of things to improve on.

2. As an encouragement to others to not take life for granted, but instead enjoy it as something meaningful, and to take charge of defining their lives as something significant.

3. And for my last reason for writing this, is that it is my way of honoring fathers who take it upon themselves to set their children on a life of purpose, specifically my Pop, the father that I depended on as a child, and my heavenly Father that I depend on more than ever as a man.

Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
One of the things I like to do, which many friends find irritating, is to ask people the definition of a word they just used. I hear people say simple words like “cool”, “favorite”, “best friend”, or even “love”, and I’ve noticed that most people are unable to define what they mean. I usually get the same reaction:

“I know what the word means, David, I just don’t know how to define it.”

No wonder so many lives are lived without purpose, longing to be “cool” and not realizing its mutability, that what is “cool” changes depending on time and place. No one thinking rationally would swallow smoke for dinner. Yet we chase “cool” and think achieving that will fulfill us.

No wonder we have so many broken promises. We don’t realize that to “promise” is to make a declaration and bind yourself either in honor, conscience or law to fulfill a certain act in the future. The worth of a promise has everything to do with the promise-giver.

No wonder we take advantage of “best friends”. We don’t realize that the word “friend” means:

One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity; opposed to foe or enemy.

And the word “best” means:

The most good. Most advanced. Most complete. Most correct. Most beneficial.

Put them together and we realize that the people we should be calling our “best friends” are actually not that many. That there is a spot for the “best” among just the “good”, and that if someone was our “best”, we should be seeking to promote his or her happiness and prosperity the most.

No wonder our relationships are so messed up in a society that sings, “All you need is love.” Who knows what love really means anymore? To understand the original meaning of love is to know that the definition of “love” is tied very closely to the concepts of “value” and “beauty”. We fall in and out of love because it’s been watered down to feelings and emotions on one extreme and obligation on the other. But to put it simply, love is to find something so beautiful and so valuable, that your emotions lead you to show affection. It’s to realize how excellent something is that you want it so bad. Love is reserved for excellent things – not shallow, empty, frivolous things. This is why to know God, to see His beauty and worth, is the best way to learn to love Him more. And that is why to love Him is our first duty – because He is most excellent, He is most beautiful, and He is most worthy. To love someone is to find and know for sure what makes that specific person beautiful and what her worth is, and to show your affection in word and action.

Words are important. They are powerful. They are powerful not because of the boldness of their font or the length of their spelling. They’re powerful because of one thing: their definition.

To define something is to put clear boundaries around it and say, “This is what this is. This is its meaning. This is its significance.” When we don’t know what something is, when we can’t clearly state its meaning, or don’t realize its significance, we drain our very powerful tool of its potency. We lose our ability to define our lives and default to the definitions others put. Worst of all, when our words, the terms that define our lives, are muddied, life itself becomes muddied chasing feelings, and not realizing to its fulness, the object, the moment, the person, that made the emotion meaningful.

To be continued…

May 24, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Romans 11:33 – 36

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
“Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
“Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

April 20, 2011

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Must Watch: GOSPEL

December 19, 2010

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Ask David

God in a Box

Hi David. I’ve been praying for this particular job and I believe that God can help me get it so I’m not applying for other positions. Now I’m thinking if this is what He wants for me or there might be another job for me but I just haven’t considered it.

I think it’s great that you’re believing for this job and practicing faith. Having said that one thing I’ve learned from a life of not getting what I want (because I’m a guy who likes to get what he wants), sometimes God disappoints us for two reasons:

1. To develop our character to be able to handle whatever He’s bringing.
2. Because He has something much greater than our own expectation or hope.

Even as you believe for this specific position keep your heart open to the different things God has planned for you. Don’t box the One who imagined the universe into the universe you’ve imagined for yourself.

Ask your own question at: http://www.formspring.me/dbonifacio

December 13, 2010

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Revelation 4:11

“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”

December 11, 2010

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What's It Worth?

There is a Harvest

Today, I was back at the Real LIFE Foundation’s feeding program to spend time with the older kids in our weekly small group. I’ve been absent the past few weeks because of all the work and meetings this yearend quarter has loaded. To give you an idea, just this week, aside from all the regular work activities related to Issho Genki, naturalhealth.ph, Emergy (the consultancy and management company) and AXIO (the web development company), I’ve had a Christmas event every night, 2 TV interviews for Habitat for Humanity’s Umagang Kay Ganda feature (which was at 5am!), a race that was also for Habitat, the Real LIFE feeding program, as well as squeezing in some time to shop for gifts. I have to say, I’m especially excited about naturalhealth.ph’s upcoming articles covering natural adventures and natural exercises. It’s growing so fast and it’s contributing more and more to my already long list of things to do.

I was a bit worried coming into today’s time with the guys. I was hoping they would understand and not feel like I take them for granted – which I don’t. Even when I’m not with them I pray for them, that God would touch them and teach them His ways, and that they would grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man. I pray for them because I know that given my limitations, the shortness of my “goodness”, and constraints, that I can’t give them what they need – but God can, and just like with everything else that’s good and bad about my life, I run to God and take it to Him. I always wonder if anything I say or do really sinks in, or if they’re only after the fries.

But God has a way of answering our undeserving prayers, and today while talking to the kids about the same verse I shared with my Issho Genki staff last night, Galatians 6:9, I was reminded that there is a harvest waiting for those who persevere.

During our conversation, the kids started talking about many of the Real LIFE volunteers they’ve met in the past year and a half, and they started saying that they saw this or that person on TV, that this person is now famous and rich, and really how people are moving on and being promoted in life. Then one of them said, “Ikaw lang hindi sumikat, kuya David.” (“You’re the only one who didn’t become famous.”) I don’t really care about fame (all that ever did for anyone was load them with crazy expectations), but for a second I thought, “Yeah, he’s right.” But before my mind could dwell on what I’m missing, God, through this kid, encouraged me, “Wag ka mag alala, kuya David. Sikat ka sa puso naming.” (“Don’t worry. You’re famous in our hearts.”) And I again I was humbled for even thinking for a moment that I was deprived. What a privilege it is to contribute to the lives of others and what a blessing to know that the message is getting through.

There is a harvest. There is a reward for us and it may not be what we expect. Maybe it’s not the recognition or promotion we deserve. Maybe it’s not the home of our dreams. Maybe it’s not the security of a fortress balance sheet. Maybe it’s not the boy or girl of your dreams. Maybe it’s not what you thought you always wanted but you’ll find that it’s something more.

God’s harvest will always fulfill us, as it either answers our hearts desire or transforms our heart to desire His will. I can’t tell you what, or how, or when, I can only encourage you with the same three words I told the kids earlier: Don’t Give Up.

December 6, 2010

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What's It Worth?

For God So Loved…

Last week I wrote an article on Naturalhealth.ph about preparing for Christmas. In the article I talked about how we need to prepare our hearts, minds, spirit, and body for the season so that we don’t miss its essence – which is not hard to do given the grandness of the festivities. You can read the full article here.

One great way of preparing yourself, your family, and your friends for Christmas is by practicing a tradition known as the Advent Wreath. You can read more about the Advent Wreath online but basically it is traditionally a time of preparation for Christmas.

Traditions are important to helping us remember the essence of what we are celebrating. They’re also great for sharing with others and enjoying together. Most of all, traditions help us pass on to a new generation the ideas, stories, and values of the occasion.

The Advent Wreath is a tradition my family has been practicing for years, since I was a kid, and this year I decided to begin celebrating it my own home now that I’ve moved out. I wanted to share and pass on to others what I enjoyed growing up.

Last Thursday, December 2, I invited some friends over to my apartment for after-dinner snacks and to kick-off our Advent preparation. For the next 4 weeks we would be sharing on a new concept to prepare our hearts for Christmas.

I’ll be posting the titles and themes here just in case you would like to celebrate this with your own families.

Week 1: For God so loved the world…
Gold Candle: Value
Text: John 3:16

Here we talked about God’s motivation for sending Jesus: His love for us. That God values us so much that He paid with His own son to purchase us. This whole story is a value story. A story of a God who shopped through His creation and chose us to be most valuable to Him. This is an awesome idea that I can’t comprehend. I am incredibly grateful for this truth though. This is the starting point of Christmas: God’s love. That He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to save us.

I wrote a post saying that when it comes to relationships and love, it’s not about what we deserve but about who we choose. This is clearly displayed in God’s love for us. We don’t deserve His goodness and He deserves better than our unfaithfulness. But He chose us, and He has made a way for us to be with Him, and because of Jesus we are redeemed. Even as I type this my heart is overwhelmed by repentance and gratitude. Repentant because I really don’t make the cut – not in even close. Grateful that I have a Father who doesn’t treat me as my sins deserve and whose love doesn’t change depending on my output. For God so loved the world that He chose me and you, and paid for us with His Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish.

December 6, 2010

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

1 John 4:7 – 21

God’s Love and Ours

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

November 3, 2010

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What's It Worth?

4 Turnaround Lessons

I’ve spent most of the day looking at financial statements. One of the things I’m doing now is working on the turnaround of Issho Genki Interntional, the producers and distributors of the most trusted brand of Squalene (which is currently a small yet growing category). We’re not completely out of the woods yet, but this last quarter is looking very positive for Issho Genki. We have improved enough to make me a little more comfortable with writing about the lessons we have learned from our mistakes. There are actually a lot of lessons I would like to share but I’ll start with these four.

What Do You Love?
Squalene is a natural antioxidant which protects and enhances the body’s cells. I’ve been taking the thing for about 15 years now and love the stuff. So aside from the challenge and necessity, loving the product was an attraction to me. I’m not really a salesman. I can’t sell anyone anything. What I am is a highly contagious sick man. When I fall sick in love with something I’m going to infect you with it if you hang around me long enough.

Turn Around Lesson #1: Work on something you’re passionate about. Turnarounds have a lot of baggage that can distract and discourage you. Working on something you’re passionate about helps keep you motivated. While need is a great motivator, never underestimate someone who is madly in love.

Go Treasure Hunting
Issho Genki used to be a very popular supplement brand but dropped out of people’s consciousness when management was not able to transition well into retail outlets. It’s a classic case of a business that did well, overspent, didn’t change relevantly, and descended. The good part though is that there was a lot to work with, such as the brand recall due to its, at the time I took over, 13 year existence, historically large distributor base, high-quality manufacturing base in Japan, and existing distribution relationships with Mercury Drug, Watsons, and other retailers and customers. The most important thing the company had though was some really trustworthy and hardworking people that made the chance of a turnaround possible.

Turn Around Lesson #2: Look for the pieces of value. These are things you’ll be able to work with and build on. What are the assets? (Of course depreciate accurately!) How much cash? (This is your blood. Even if people owe you, you run out of cash, you’re dead.) Can you use your assets to generate cash? (Either through sales or as collateral) In our case, we didn’t have any hard assets aside from a very nebulous concept of brand goodwill. We had no way of accurately measuring this so working with that was a step of faith. We also didn’t have a lot of cash. We had a third of what we needed to survive month 1. (That month was very stressful for me!) But what we did have other than the brand were good people who made the sales happen and extended payables and stretched and stretched. Good people are always a great asset.

Cut the Fat
When I walked into my corner office on the 25th floor of a nice commercial building in one of Metro Manila’s business districts I had the following thoughts in sequence:

1. Wow. This is cool.
2. This is really big. Too big.
3. This must be expensive.
4. This has to go.

One problem businesses have as they go along is that they take on too much fat. That’s actually like us humans. Hehe. We take on so much unwanted baggage that weigh and slow us down, or worse, choke our organs which kills us. We had to do a lot of cost cutting in Issho Genki, more than a third of our operating expenses. This also meant there were contracts we could not renew, people we could not hire, perks we could not enjoy, and rewards that had to be differed. Of course not everyone was happy – including me. But you have to do what you have to do.

Turn Around Lesson #3: Cut the fat. Look in the mirror and see where everything is starting to sag and cut those parts out. (I’m in no way suggesting liposuction. I’m talking figuratively.) While Lesson #1 is to work on something you’re passionate about, don’t mistake the fat for the purpose. Fat are the unnecessary things or parts or even functions we’ve accumulated that no longer effectively contribute to your purpose or bottom-line. So to cut the fat you should have a well-defined purpose for your organization. I see this so many times in business and even non-profits where everyone wants to do everything, so there are so many people accumulating fat, and no one can recognize what’s fat anymore because there is no clearly defined purpose. So define the purpose based on what’s important to you (values) and what doesn’t fit is fat. Cut that. Some people can afford to go on a diet. We couldn’t. We had to have surgery. So we did just that.

Who’s Your Daddy?
I was 23 years old when I took over a company that was closing down. When I look back I really had no idea what I was doing. They say that sometimes not knowing is actually better so that you don’t know what to be afraid of. I don’t know if that’s true. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was really scared. More people would have seen it if my repertoire of facial expressions was more than just a smirk, but in my gut I was really really scared. I was scared because I knew that I didn’t have what it takes to make this work, and this is what led me to what I consider my life’s greatest lesson: Run to God.
 

Turn Around Lesson #4: This isn’t from the business books, but it’s really from my life manual: run to God and wait on Him. There were days when I would go to the office at 6am just to pray for a miracle. That somehow something would happen that day and we would live to fight another day. I would walk around our empty office and say “Father, please help Beth with the finances. Please help Guada with administration. Help Lolit with logisitcs.” I would pray for everyone and everything, and guess what? Most of what I prayed for didn’t happen. Hehe. But better things came along. Life lessons instead of quick profits. Humility instead of promotions. Contentment instead of abundance. Peace beyond understanding. These, along with the knowledge that my Father is watching over me, fixing my mistakes, redeeming my wrongs, forgiving my sins, and surely preparing a place for me, these are my profits.


Money is useful, but these experiences, they’re priceless.
And life is not being able to afford the numbers on the price tags. Life is about discovering what’s really priceless and enjoying them fully.

…By the way, while there’s still a lot to do, sales are up and expenses are down. That’s always a good sign.

October 29, 2010

0



Thoughts of a Lost Boy

With Empty Hands

The things of impatience
The things of my pride
The heavy expectations
The thorns on my side
I let go
With empty hands
I hold on to you

The things I can’t say
The things I can’t show
Things I want to forget
Things I’d rather not know
I let go
With empty hands
I hold on to you

October 12, 2010

0



Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Holding On

Our prayers reach heaven
Every wish, every hope
Every call, every cry

Faith believes
He sees, He hears
He feels, He cares

Faith trusts
He answers in silence
He moves in stillness

Our prayers return
In each sunrise, in grace
In each day’s end, and rest

August 24, 2010

0



What's It Worth?

Sakura

I like waking to sunlight streaming through my window. I like to think of it as Heaven’s way of saying good morning to me. But there are times when the mornings aren’t good, and the rest of the day doesn’t really improve, and the evenings, sometimes they are like capstones on a grave.

But to live is to wake-up everyday, and to wake-up is to rise to reality – the parts we enjoy and the parts we don’t.

The past few months, since I moved out, I have gotten into this habit of just lying on my bed and staring at the metallic form of a fire sprinkler on my ceiling. Every evening before I sleep and every morning, I take some time to stay this way, staring up, lost in my thoughts – and there’s a forest of thoughts to get lost in.

Maybe that’s why my hair grows out in all directions, like extensions of my dendrites. Anyway…

One of the thoughts I’ve been thinking about is the idea of “the end”. Not necessarily death, but the conclusion of something.

Everything ends. Everything has an expiry date. Everything has a limit.

But let me share a simple thought I had when visiting my friend Mark’s mother on her last days at Medical City. I’m hoping it will help you as much as it has helped me.

Early one morning, I got a call from Mark asking me if I could ask my dad to pray for his mom. She had been fighting cancer for many years, praying, getting healed, improving, relapsing, and suffering again, but always in faith, and always with that peace beyond all understanding. My dad couldn’t go so I went instead. Mark is a friend, and his mom, Tita Charrie, is an amazing woman. I had visited her before when she could still talk, and she was always very engaging and hopeful. But that morning, when I walked into her room I knew something was very different. Her family was not there during the short period that I visited, they had to do a few things but were on their way back, so it was just Tita Charrie, the nurse, and I. My heart sank leaving a hollow feeling on my chest. And through that pit drained the little faith I had left.

I thought to myself, “God, how could you let this happen? Where is the reward of faith? Where are the answers to prayers?”

I couldn’t bring myself to pray, it just didn’t seem like any of my petitions would be answered anyway. So I sat down at the bench beside her bed, and leaned my head on the wall while I gathered myself. As I turned my head, to my right, sitting on the window ledge, I saw a tiny light violet clock. On its face was its brand: SAKURA.

Sakura. I recognized that word. I had encountered it many times on my trips to Japan. Sakura is what the Japanese call Cherry Blossoms, and every year thousands of people go out to see the Sakura in a tradition that is locally known as Hanami or “flower viewing”.

They celebrate because the Sakura, the Cherry Blossoms, represent spring. New life.

“Open your eyes, David. New life.”

I like how God can get His word through to even the most stubbornly deaf of people – people like me. He knows exactly what to say and He knows exactly how to get your attention.

So I leaned forward, put my hand on her leg, and prayed a simple prayer, because the complex ones seem to be beyond me, “Father, bring new life to this situation.” I can’t forget how she turned her head to look at me, smiling through the tube in her mouth, she lifted her arm slightly and waved. Looking back, she was probably saying goodbye, saying it the way we do to friends we know we’re going to see again.

I left that morning reminded of what Tita Charrie always knew, that even as the seasons change and bring many things to an end, because life and all it contains is fleeting, there is a Spring that ushers in new life, an amazing life without end.

July 2, 2010

0



What's It Worth?

Grand Symphony

Like a stone press
You crush me
To no more

Like an olive
I give you
Pure worship
- Painful Prayer

Not many people know that I love music. I like it just as much as I like running, and painting, and writing, probably even more. One of the things I miss most is having a piano at home. I used to play everyday, as soon as I woke up, when I got home, after dinner, I’d just let it all out and say everything I wanted to. There was even a time when I took up the violin, which is my second favorite instrument. A violin is like a woman. It has no frets, so you’re always feeling your way. Play her wrong and she squeaks painfully. Hehe. Just kidding. Maybe not.

Anyway…

I was never good with a violin, but I’m sure I can still scratch out an ugly Great is Thy Faithfulness. I love that song. I loved that song as a child, but now that I’m older, now that I understand, I cling on to its truth to get through each day.

When the artificial support systems of our life are removed, when the things we trusted in are disappearing, when the saviors we hoped for disappoint, and the dreams of our hearts seem more distant than ever, as our circumstances and our own sins blow us further into a hostile open sea, it’s always good to hold on to that the anchoring truth of the faithfulness of God.

It’s easy to lose sight of this. It’s easy to miss a lot of things.

But on most nights, when I settle down to write, I can hear many things the hustle of a busy day masks. The low hum of the ceiling lights, the spinning fan of the exhaust, the slow swaying of full-length blinds, and the beating of my anxious heart, all clearly moving to an eclectic melody that is my life.

And what a grand symphony exists: my melody, with yours, and the guard’s in the lobby, and the little girl’s, who’s hearing her mother’s own melody as she is kissed goodnight, mixed in with the melodies of six billion lives, all timed to the beats of six billion hearts, available for us to enjoy when we simply take the time to listen.

Sometimes, when I don’t know what I want to listen to, when I can’t think of the perfect song, when there’s no piano within reach, I just lie down on my bed, hands behind my head, and listen. And again, I am reminded, what a grand symphony exists.

February 1, 2010

2



Brothers Bonifacio

Our Father’s Favor

Because You're Worth It.

I was wondering
Was I dreaming
But it’s true
Life’s unfolding
I’ll be growing
Old with you
Still many things unplanned
But take my hand
The future’s vast
Let’s make our love last
– Let’s Make Our Love Last

“I promise to constantly pursue you, make you feel loved and wanted… because you’re worth it.”
– Sapster

January 28, 2010
The night before the wedding, while sharing our last casita with Joe before he clamped on his ball and chain, I asked him, “You sure about this? It’s not too late to back out you know?”

He just looked at me and shook his head.

January 29, 2010 – right before marching
Me: “Joe. This is your last chance. Once the music starts there’s no turning back.”
Joe: Shaking his head again.
Me: “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

So we marched. Like guards escorting a convict down his final green mile, we walked the sandy aisle. Then Pastor Steve administered his last rites, and before you know it pronounced the sentence: man and wife.

I’m convinced Cupid has us fooled. He isn’t a baby in Pampers with a mini bow and arrow. In fact, I think he sort of looks like General Rommel, The Desert Fox, and drives around in a massive tank. When that turret is aimed at you, it’s not to pierce your heart. It’s prepared to blow you away. Blow you away for good.

I’ve taken a few shrapnel wounds myself but Joe sustained a direct hit. The blast was so strong it threw him into a white suit and Korean bangs.

Seriously, my “non-showbiz” brother, Joseph’s wedding to his “showbiz” best friend Carla “Rica” Peralejo was amazing. I was so proud of my brother because he looked every bit the man that he really is, still slightly geeky with his Zoolander Magnum look, but also decidedly confident, and prepared to take on this responsibility. Most importantly he was a testimony of God honoring a man that has dedicated his life to honoring Him.

It was both an encouragement and a gentle rebuke to me.

Carla looked especially beautiful. I mean she’s pretty, everyone knows that. She’s an actress – she has to be. But the way she looked that day was something else. It wasn’t “hot” or “sexy” or “cute” or “pretty”. It wasn’t the kind that makes you think “Wow, Joe’s going to have one heck of a night tonight.” (Though that was probably in Josh’s mind.) This one was BEAUTIFUL – pure, unadulterated, un-manufactured radiance.

Before the wedding was over Josh and I had agreed, “Joe’s going to have one heck of a night tonight.” (”But you just said…” I know. I know. That’s what you get for growing up in a group of three boys.)

I heard a lot of hearts were broken that day. I’m not surprised. People like beauty. Carla is beautiful for obvious reasons, Joe, has a beautiful… um… mind?

A lot of hearts were also lit alive with love on that perfect day, in a perfect place, with a perfect sky, and a perfect breeze, when two imperfect people were perfected in love by a commitment to a union with each other and our Lord.

Thank Yous
The wedding was executed very well. Thanks to Pastor Steve (officiating minister, and really our third father: God, then Pop, then Pastor Steve), Teena Baretto (amazing wedding planner), the master storytellers Lito Sy (photos) and Jason Magbanua (video), Seren8 (music), Josiah’s (food), Tita Pin Antonio (renowned hair stylist and another close friend of the couple’s), Tito Gary Valenciano (song numbers), always a treat to have him, Donita Rose and Pastor Dennis Sy (hosts), and I must add Franco Laurel and Archie Castillo (who respectively sang and arranged the song I wrote). I’m sure I missed people but this isn’t really my job. Joe for sure will be thanking everyone when he’s not so preoccupied.

You understand of course. As he said in his own speech, he has to “conserve energy”.

I was actually surprised they showed up at the house yesterday. If I was Joe, and had a license to kill, I would fire away.

That’s probably why he’s the married one.

Anyway…

Joshua Strikes Again
Earlier before the wedding, my dad and I were trying to get Joshua to prepare for his toast. He couldn’t understand why he had to prepare anything when all he had to say was “CHEERS!”

So he thought…

When Paula, Carla’s sister, shared a well-prepared heart-felt message, Josh all of a sudden felt pressured to say something. So to buy him some time he did an impromptu dance that was followed by an incredibly funny impromptu speech. I can’t do justice to what he said so I’m hoping someone posts a video of his toast.

He ended his speech by toasting to “Beuwolf!”

Why? Who knows?

Josh and I are opening a Bestmen for hire business with Teena. This actually matches Proposals by David. Isn’t matrimonial capitalism beautiful? Back in William Wallace’s day all you needed was a guy and a girl, a priest, a horse, and a lake. Today, you have a billion dollar industry.

Next?
I get the thought process. My older brother gets married so it’s only logical that his direct younger brother is next. But that logic only works if age and birth order were the only criteria for eligibility. In reality both aren’t as important as, let’s say, shared values and same taste in music. (Seriously, the former is a need, the latter a want.)

I don’t know if this is true, but about 4628 couples get married every day. So there have been more than 12,000 couples who have gone next already, and if, let’s say again, I stay single for another 10 years, that would give us a formula and results of 4628 couples/day X 365 days/year X 10 years = 16,892,200 couples X 2 person/couple = 33,784,400 people next.

In short, I’m not next.

Changes
There’s going to be a few changes in our household. For one, there’s going to be more food in the fridge. Joe eats a lot. And my clothes won’t keep disappearing. Looking forward to that.

But we’re also going to miss Wyatt Earp aka King Arthur aka D’artagnan aka Simon the Chipmunk. I feel like a comrade was lost in arms – lost to matrimony, that great unknown where none come back the same – if at all.

The bar is really set high, now that Joseph “sapster” Bonifacio has joined the leagues of Lord Byron with his “I promise to constantly pursue you, make you feel loved and wanted… because you’re worth it.” I’m seeing his quote all over the place followed by statements such as “Can I clone you Joe?” “I’m waiting for my Joe.” “the Legend of Joe Bonifacio” and my personal favorites “Oh my Joe” and “Santa, wrap me a Joe I’ve been good this year.”

Ok, I made those last two up.

Being positive about it, we do gain something my brothers and I have always wanted: a sister. Finally, my mother has another female to plan tea parties and cross-stitch with.

Just kidding.

I have a sister now, and I love the thought of it.

Technically, Joe doesn’t have one yet. He’ll have to wait for 33,784,400 people to go first. Unless Josh surprises us.

Now I need a new title for this series. Bonifacio Brothers and Chick, Bonifacio Brothers and Female, Bonifacio Brothers and Wife, Bonifacio Brothers and XX Chromosome. It’s late. I don’t want to think.

Our Father’s Favor
My brothers and I, like many other children, have had to live under the shadow of expectations for most of our lives, such as spiritual expectations, moral expectations, achievement expectations, behavioral expectations, conduct expectations, financial expectations, relational expectations, and others, some of which we have placed on ourselves, but many of which just comes with being the children of my parents. I’ve struggled with the knowledge that given all my flaws there’s no way I can live up to these standards. I’m sure my brothers have felt the same at times, and maybe some of you have your own versions.

But standing at my brother’s wedding that day, watching a miracle called marriage take place, and it was a miracle, I felt our Father, Joe’s Father, my Father, your Father, our Father, impress in my heart, “Isn’t this greater than what you expected? See what I can do when you let me?”

And again, another humbling moment for this arrogant middle son, I thought to myself, “Yes, I see.”

So I’m reminding myself to forget the expectations, and release the criticism, to stop struggling and striving, and to remember to obey and to trust. Because even as I was brought down another notch in my never-ending need for humbling, I heard His voice once again in my heart say, “Then let me do greater things for you.”

January 14, 2010

2



What's It Worth?

A Shopping Guide for Life

“But you can never go wrong with the priceless things. They’ll always be a steal.”

The start of a new year is always a good time to step back and take a deep look at the state of our lives. It’s a good time to evaluate ourselves, our desires and dreams, goals and accomplishments, our challenges and concerns, as well as our actions and decisions.

I actually think we should be doing this regularly – as in all-year regularly.

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions simply because, based on my experience and casual observance of others, we rarely sustain these grand decisions. Instead, I like to follow the Japanese practice of Kaizen – continuously growing through small improvements each day. So every evening, right before reading a self-imposed number of chapters before bed, I like to evaluate my day, what went right, what went wrong, what should I work on tomorrow or the next few days, what goes on my to-do list, what are the challenges, and after considering them I lift them to God to bless, to redeem, sometimes to forgive. I try to apply this practice of incremental growth powered by God’s grace to the things I do, whether it be business, social work, study, my creative pursuits, or whatever.

Despite this I can still be a jerk (a capital JERK to some), still be selfish, or unkind, or lustful (Yes, you women can be incredibly beautiful – and irritatingly illogical so don’t let your head get too big.). I can still be arrogant sometimes (Ok, more than sometimes.), still insecure (Which is why I’m arrogant.), still fearful (Which is why I’m insecure.), and incredibly limited in my goodness and capabilities (Which is why I’m fearful.).

All these shortcomings are products of wrong decisions, which in turn are products of a skewed value-system. Somewhere along the way, whether consciously or unconsciously, I learned to value the wrong things. Not everything of course, I do have right values, but enough mistaken valuations to leave a mark.

When my brothers and I were kids my parents read us a story from the book. No Wonder They Call Him the Savior. It tells the story of an unusual kind of robbery where some thieves broke into a store, and instead of taking items all they did was switch the price tags around. Some expensive things became cheap, and the cheap things became expensive.

The funny thing was that no one noticed the price change at first. So people shopped as usual, buying things at unusually huge discounts and unusually huge markups.

And sometimes our world is like that. We shop around through life sometimes making decisions that cost us more than what we get for it and sometimes taking other things of value for granted. And just like walking through a superstore, walking through life can be overwhelming with all the options calling out to you.
And so to help me remember (because I can be immensely forgetful) I have brought out a shopping list – a shopping list for life that I thought about when I was a teenager, detailing the things I would pursuit. I’ve changed some of the words and ordering but the treasures have stayed the same. Proof that, despite my lack of experience and knowledge at the time, an open heart can see with amazing clarity.

I use the article “a” instead of “the” because I don’t want to suggest that my list is the only list possible list or even the best. This is merely MY reminder for MYSELF that I hope will cause you to evaluate your situation, to see what it is you’re purchasing with your life decisions, and to weigh the cost that you’re paying.

My simple shopping list for life:

1. A real relationship with God
Where I’ll find it: In time spent with Him
Where I won’t find it: Religion

2. A family with a lot of kids
Where I’ll find it: With the birds and the bees, and a ball and chain – Kidding. I’m still trying to figure this one out.
Where I won’t find it: In my chauvinism, E-Harmony (Not that there’s anything wrong with E-Harmony. How do I say it? It’s just not me?)

3. The means to help the poor and unjustly treated
Where I’ll find it: Proper valuation
Where I won’t find it: In my selfishness that only focuses on what I want and what I need

4. The ability to steward the resources that are entrusted to me
Where I’ll find it: In humility – I don’t have it. I don’t know. Father, give me grace.
Where I won’t find it: In my arrogance and self sufficiency

Every now and then I get lost, while driving, while looking for a restaurant, or a shop, or just inside my head. And sometimes I lose my way, forgetting what’s really important, purchasing baggage at crazy prices. So I remind myself of what I really want, of what’s really important to me. Because you’ll always go wrong by buying something you don’t really want, no matter how seemingly cheap. But you can never go wrong with the priceless things. They’ll always be a steal.

October 12, 2009

0



Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Save Me From the Pride of Life

Save me from the pride of life
That pulls men down, destroyed
By throwing out the window
The grace they once enjoyed

Save me from self-centeredness
That shrinks universes to
Just me, my life, my way
Not looking up to You

September 19, 2009

0



What's It Worth?

A Pain in the Butt

Sometimes after biking, and sitting in that painfully designed piece of torture known as the bike seat, I feel like someone grabbed my ass cheeks, one cheek in each hand, and in one quick motion, ripped it apart.

Speaking of pains in the butt, I read about someone once, who was born to a family of modest means. His parents belonged to two different religious denominations so he pretty much grew up with mixed beliefs.

When he was sixteen he stopped studying so that the family could save money to send him to a better place. In his idleness he would learn the pleasures of sin, the temporary gratifications that lead to continuing regret. What started with pick-pocketing and stealing extended to promiscuity.

At 18, he met a girl, and she must have been beautiful because he would fall in love with her. Her name was Una, and though he would never marry her, she would be the mother of his son, and he would be faithful to her – at least for a significant amount of time. But faithfulness is like that, when you’re no longer faithful once, you’ve become unfaithful. It’s that simple.

In his searching, he would join a cult, and being who he was, he dove in deep, studying their teaching, and leading others to it. He wouldn’t be satisfied with the inconsistencies and move on to other things.

Finally, his mother prevailed on him to give up his mistress and find a wife. But it’s never that simple to just turn away, especially from something you lust for, from something you’ve learned to love. Passion is a double-edged sword. Controlled, it becomes strength, an enabler to do more, go further, and reach higher. Uncontrolled, it is wildfire, burning everything in its way. So he burned, and in his confused condemnation prayed, “Help me turn away. I know I need to. But not yet. I’m having too much fun.”

He would find some soothing in intellectual pursuit. Hoping that the gathering of wisdom would lead to true fulfillment and true spirituality. But his contemplations only highlighted one thing: who he was and how far he was from who he was supposed to be, even more, how far he was from who he wanted to become. So he continued in his promiscuity.

Imagine if he was your kid, if he was your brother, or uncle, or employee, or friend, or student. He would be a real frustrating pain in the ass. You might even say you know exactly who I’m talking about, that he shares your office, or last name, or that he lives in your home, or even sleeps in your bed.

But you’d be wrong.

Many years later, this man would genuinely find God, through the prayers of his mother, the patient teaching of an older man, and because he continued to seek, just as Jeremiah had written, because he searched for God with all his heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

And history now remembers him as St. Augustine.

What allows a life spent so lost in selfishness a second chance? Forgiveness.
And what allows a third and fourth and a fifth and a sixth chance? More forgiveness.

It’s funny. I hate that word when I think about those who have wronged me. But then I love it when I think about who I am and how much I need it.

And what allows such amazing forgiveness and complete redemption? Love.

August 17, 2009

0



What's It Worth?

The Beautiful Interruptions

My articles are getting longer. I notice it too. So I’ve divided this into three parts. Maybe I’m becoming too ambitious with my writing. Maybe I have more to say. Maybe it’s treatment, what a friend called my catharsis, for tiring work days. Maybe I’m hoping that somehow this gives a better contribution to make up for the tactless things I say.

Nights Are A Good Time To Remember
The past few nights, instead of sticking to this month’s reading list, which include a book on Lorenzo de Medici, Islands in the Stream by Hemmingway, a book on Bear Stearns’ financial collapse, Basho’s haikus, and the highly uncharacteristic (for me at least) Seven Levels of Intimacy, I decided to read through my old journals, mostly contained in oilcloth covered Moleskines.

These Chatwin-inspired notebooks may not be the most practical of purchases but they do have their appeal. For one, they have pockets, which are useful for notes, really old but really good letters, for filing old Post-its, and, according to their marketing, they were used by the likes of Picasso, Mattise, and Hemmingway – even though the brand itself was registered in 1996. Picasso died in the 1970s and Hemmingway in the 60s. You connect the dots. Another thing I like about them, and this is why I choose to be gullible, is how nice the uniform little black books look lined-up on my shelf.

But what really make my Moleskines special (special to me at least) are the lines that form the letters and numbers, and drawings, and words, and phrases, and sentences, and paragraphs of events, reminders, and plans, and emotions, and thoughts, and hopes, and prayers that all combine into one big story – the story of my life.

We All Have This In Common: We’re All Different
Much like everyone else’s life story, mine does not fall under one genre. It’s a little adventure, a little mystery, a little horror, a little comedy, a little romance in 1 or 2 quarter segments, a little drama, and even science fiction. Sometimes I forget how amazing my life has been, and envy the experiences, the opportunities, and the resources of others, and when I feel this way I take one of my Moleskines and remind myself of the treasure I enjoy each day. See, the problem with trying to live someone else’s life is that we will fail in two ways: to be fulfilled in a life not meant for us, and to miss the fulfillment in the life we should be living – our own.

The next three offerings are, as I said, divided into three parts: The Beautiful Interruptions, The Beautiful Strangers, and The Beautiful End. I wrote them basically as reminders to value everything in every moment, especially the people, who make these moments, come alive.

The Beautiful Interruptions
One of the things I particularly don’t like about our educational system is that it expects everyone to mature at roughly the same pace. It seems to presume that when you’re a certain age you’re supposed to have a certain level of learning and able to join a certain grade. But people don’t grow, or mature, or learn at the same pace. Not so much because some are smarter than the others but really more because people live different lives, and are exposed to different things at different times leading to different experiences and different learning.

To put it succinctly, the problem with a rigidly programmed educational system is that many times it fails to prepare us for the unplanned and the unexpected.

Reading through my journals made me realize that very little of my life has gone according to plan. Investments that never materialized, business turned sour, my MBA in Spain stunted right after a great interview, relationships strained, paused, or completely ruined, broken limbs and scar-leaving stitches, a suicide bombing, lost luggage, and quite a number of planes and trains missed, I have to say a lot has not gone according to plan.

And that isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes God has to interrupt our plans to make way for something better, to make way for Him. Sometimes I cringe at the thought of what my life would be like today if my plan had pushed through. Maybe it would even be over.

There’s one incident that really underscored this for me. It happened years ago on my only visit to Kabul, Afghanistan. Afghanistan is a beautiful country with beautiful people of amazing strength. I would definitely encourage anyone who knows they are called there to not hesitate and go. That year was 2004, I was 20 years old, and was sporting the most pathetic looking facial hair in the land-locked nation. I was with a long time friend who used to work for the family but decided to go on a series of mission trips. In Aghanistan, while shopping in a popular area, he reminded me that we had a meeting to go to. I corrected him saying that we had a few hours, but he insisted we left. So we left, and arrived at an empty safe house, a few hours early for the planned meeting. I was a little annoyed at him for getting the facts wrong, but the annoyance quickly disappeared as we watched the breaking news on TV. A few minutes after we left, on the street where we were, a suicide bomber had done his thing and taken the lives of a few people. Things didn’t go according to my plan, but I’m glad it didn’t. I’m very happy to be alive today. Besides, there’s a time for everything. The next day we went back to finish our shopping, knowing that a suicide bomber gets to strike only once.

Over the years my friend and I have gotten closer, and I stood as one of two best men on his wedding day, and now am godfather to his son blessed with the amazing name, David.

I try to remind myself, when things go wrong, or are delayed, or are blown away, to be grateful for the beautiful interruptions, knowing that everything happens for a purpose. Maybe it’s to teach us a lesson. Maybe it is patience we need to learn. Maybe it’s to protect us, from ourselves, our own plans, or someone else’. Maybe it’s to teach us to appreciate when we finally have something or someone. Maybe it’s to keep us somewhere long enough so that we won’t miss the sunset. Maybe He wants to remind us of how it feels like to be blessed by the rain. Even, maybe, it’s to prolong the suffering so we’ll know how to comfort those in pain. Whatever it is, there’s a reason, and while I hate to use this corny line (I really really do), that reason is you.

August 12, 2009

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What's It Worth?

Our Father

This is a long one. But I hope you take the time. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a gem. Maybe you’ll find a gold mine.

Founding Fathers
Every Sunday evening, before settling to go through the stack of books on my bedside table, I review the activities for the following week and try to make everything fit, which, I find, is never an easy thing to do. Between for-profit work and non-profit social work, study, sports, my piano and violin practice (which has shown no improvement), painting (also has shown no improvement), writing, and the equally important rest and re-creational activities that include my quiet time with God, I’m never out of things to do. At the end of each day it’s nice to be able to take a sleeping pill (a natural one of course) and go to bed fulfilled. Usually my mind is still going, sometimes still thinking, but mostly dreaming, and that leads to my idiosyncratic sleep talking.

Thanks to Wallace Panlilio, who now runs Victory Christian International School (VCIS), I have been sold to the idea of mind mapping, and have gone through the exercise of mind-mapping my life’s activities. I encourage anyone who is looking to organize himself or herself to try mind mapping or some sort of visual model.

But that’s not what I want to talk about.

I really want to talk about fathers.

Because as I looked through everything that I am doing, I realized that at the beginning of every activity, whether spiritual, physical, intellectual, or emotional, was a father – or a mother – but someone who helped plant the seed, who helped define me, and laid a foundation. Nothing was completely original, all was taught, and even in my “do the opposite of everything your parents say” childhood, somehow, certain values and behaviors were transferred.

The Wisdom of Fathers
I make it a point to invite much older and much wiser men to meet over breakfast, lunch, or dinner just to seek advice, pick their brain, hear their stories, and learn. With me come my omnipresent Moleskine, a black pen, and a yellow highlighter. Sometimes they talk really fast, sometimes it’s painfully slow but there’s always so much wisdom they can share simply from being alive for so long. Besides the senior citizen’s discount makes them practical dates.

One of the privileges of not being too smart is that you realize earlier than the smart people that you need to listen to others. I needed fathers who had gone ahead and knew more. When I was a kid, I had tutors, sometimes three at a time, because I didn’t pick things up too fast. I actually picked them up slow. I needed people to explain to me over and over and over until I understood. But that taught me you don’t have to know everything all the time. If you don’t know, ask someone who does. If you don’t know anyone who does, look for someone and cold call him or her if you have to. And this practice, this combination of deliberate growth, of study and seeking out mentors, has really helped me out. I find that the only thing I discover from all this discovery is that there’s so much more to discover. That was redundant but you get the idea.

My Father
When people wonder why I do certain things and think a certain way, I like to tell them a few stories of when I was growing up. When I was younger I had asthma, and it was bad enough to get me confined. The doctor told me to stop swimming, but the very next summer, and every summer after that, my parents enrolled me in swimming camps. I’ve not had an asthma attack since. There was also Joshua’s detention. Josh had some of the most creative reasons for getting detained, including “stripping” and “dancing with the teacher and spanking his butt”. On one of his detentions he was made to face the wall, and guess what my dad did, he stood facing the wall in detention beside my brother. Then there was the time Joe crashed the car. The next day my dad threw him the keys to his car and said, “You drive.” My father just had a weird way of teaching us to keep fighting, face our consequences, and rise after failure. It many ways it was contrarian, and there’s probably a better way of teaching lessons, one that doesn’t produce performance oriented individuals, but this was our way and it’s something I’m grateful for because it defined how I approach everything from bad reports, to sickness, to adversity, to punishment. It defined how I approach life.

I could go on about my dad but this piece is long enough as it is.

Besides we’ve gotten to the point.

Our Father
I can’t forget one morning, when a painful truth was delivered to me. I was consulting with a man who has become a business mentor, and has very kindly given me a lot of his time. I was telling him about what I was facing and what I was attempting to accomplish, and he looked at me and said, “David. I think you’re in over your head. You’re a bright boy, but this one is too big for you. You’re in over your head.” He was not being discouraging, or negative, and I appreciated the honest assessment. Because when I thought about it, he was absolutely right. And I would rather have the true picture than some illusion.

But that didn’t make things easier to bear.

After our meeting, I thanked him, and walked to the car a deflated child. I remember thinking to myself, “I’m screwed. He’s absolutely right. I’m in over my head” followed by a series of four letter words I’d rather not mention.

Then I felt a familiar impression, and I heard a familiar voice in my head, a voice I have been hearing since I was a child, followed by a familiar peace beyond all understanding that became so real to me in my short stay in Afghanistan.

“YOU are in over your head. But YOU and I, we’re not.”

And that was my take home for the day. It was my take home for the week, for the month, for the year. It’s my take home for life. That while earthly fathers are great, we have someone who is greater than anything we may face. He is the one who paints the dreams in our minds and plants His purpose in our hearts. And no matter how deep the pit, how dark the nights, or torn our soul, we can find rest in the One who loves us, because we call Him Our Father.

July 13, 2009

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What's It Worth?

The Children Showed Me How

Maybe it’s because I like to read JM Barry’s Peter Pan over and over. Or maybe it’s because I enjoyed being a kid so much. Maybe it’s because I grew up too fast. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t grown up at all. Whatever the reason, I love kids.

Saturday Mornings
I usually begin my Saturday mornings with kids climbing all over me at the Real LIFE feeding program in Pasig. Doc, Lynn, Sony, Rhia, Ariel, and the rest of the Real LIFE team have organized a wonderful weekly event that not only brings joy to a little more than 150 kids but also blesses the volunteers who give their precious Saturday mornings to share their lives. Rica Tongco, a regular volunteer, was telling me about how touched she was when some of the kids went up to her to say that their families were being relocated from the disaster risk areas they had been squatting on. (Interestingly, some have moved to Habitat for Humanity communities that are developed by another incredible group I have the privilege of being a part of.) The kids wanted to say goodbye and they wanted to show their appreciation to her with small gifts. She showed me a small plastic frame they had given her, and I knew she would never value another frame so much, not even a Napoleon. (That’s a nice kind of frame by the way.)

I never leave empty handed either. Aside from a full-body workout and that feeling of fulfillment that comes with making a positive contribution to someone’s life, I get my ego massaged by comparisons to some Korean telenovela star. On second thought, I’ve never actually seen the show. That could be a bad thing.

I used to question the impact of these programs, particularly the ones that appear to be isolated acts of kindness. Then I had a thought, while running the 21k Condura race a few months ago, I was so grateful for the volunteers who handed out water and cold sponges because when you’ve been running a long time, you’re out of water, and the sun’s burning, that little cup goes a long way. Sometimes it’s just enough to get you to the next cup of water, but then you get there, you drink, and that gets you to the next cup, and the next, and before you know it you’ve finished the race. And that’s what kindness is. It’s one cup to get you to the next point. It’s one more encouragement to hold on. It’s an act of service that reminds others they’re significant. And your kindness adds to my kindness, and adds to his kindness, and her kindness, and to a stranger’s kindness, before we know it, and we may never know it, we’ve all helped someone run their race. It’s not an original idea. But we all have to be reminded.

Sunday Afternoon
Two Sundays ago, I took Nathan, Janina, and Ryan Punzalan to see Ice Age. Let me correct myself, Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. I’ve learned that we adults have to get these titles and title extensions right or it’s not the same thing. Like this one conversation I had with my cousin Carlos:

Me: You guys want to watch Spiderman at my house?
Carlos: Spiderman 1 or Spiderman 2?
Me: I don’t know. Spiderman.
Carlos: But Spiderman 1 or Spiderman 2?
Me: It’s the same thing. It’s Spiderman.
Carlos: No it’s not. One is Green Goblin and the other Doc Oc.
Me: OK. No more Spiderman. We’re going to the mall.
Carlos: Do you think they have Spiderman?
Me: I’m pretty sure.
Carlos: Spiderman 1 or Spiderman 2?

So anyway, after the movie with the Punzalans, I asked them if they enjoyed it, and Janina, our only girl for the afternoon, said, “You just slept! I was staring at you for a long time trying to see if you would wake up but you just slept!” And Ryan added, “Yeah. You were sleeping. How can you sleep in a movie?” I told them that cinemas are some of the best places to sleep in. It’s dark, it’s cool, if people are polite its quiet, and if the seats recline it’s perfect. I then realized that I’ve slept through the last few movies I’ve seen. Ice Age 3, Transformers 2, Wolverine, name it, I’ve slept through it.

Then I realized another thing.

I used to like watching movies – even dumb ones. Now, I can’t even stay up – not even for good ones. That’s sad I think.

Early Monday Morning
In 1989, I was 5 years old. I remember being in the states, going to Disney, buying toys bigger than me, and eating a lot of turkey leg. I couldn’t afford anything I was doing. I couldn’t get anywhere on my own. I didn’t know the plan. I actually got lost a few times, once for over an hour. I was completely dependent on my parents, but if I had to pick a year for when I was most secure, I would choose 1989.

Fast forward to today. I know more than when I was five. I have more. I can do more. I have savings (if you can call my tennis can of coins savings). I have more positions, more accomplishments, a greater network, but also, I find, a greater level of anxiousness and worry. And while I hate dependence, as Count Almasy puts it “being owned”, I’ve realized that my in-dependence has brought in-security.

But earlier this Monday morning, while in prayer, I remembered the kids at the feeding, the Punzalans, my cousins, and my own childhood, and how they, we I mean, were so secure in our reliance on the adults. I had a thought: complete security is found in complete dependence in someone much greater.

Sometimes I forget to depend on God, and I go at things on my own. But this time I’ll remind myself to let go, to trust, to hope, to rely, to depend, and to let the children show me how.

June 29, 2009

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Thoughts of a Lost Boy

Just Wanted You to Know

New mercies each morning
New strength to break through
All of your promises
They are true

Old chains lay broken
At the foot of the cross
My God, My Lord, My Ransom
Set me free

Love never ending
My heart is complete
All I want and need
I find in you

I hear your whisper in the wind
I see your power in the storm
I feel your presence
Wherever I go

And I’m so grateful
Just wanted you to know

June 6, 2009

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What's It Worth?

The Song of David

Someone recently told me, “I wish I had your life. You get to do so much. And you don’t have any problems.” I just smirked. He didn’t have a clue. Everyone has their own set, of victories and challenges. Some just complain more than others.

I wrote this in September of last year, after a tiring and painful episode in my career. I surprise myself at how creative the adjectives my mind comes up with whenever I remember the people who brought it about. Then I repent, and remind myself to overlook offenses, to forgive, and to offer up my hard heart to God for softening.

The Song of David
He was a hero. He was THE hero of Israel. He had saved the nation. He had killed Goliath. The king’s daughter, Michal, loved him, so did the heir to the throne, Jonathan. He had earned a high rank. He had found favor in the eyes of the people. The beautiful daughters of Israel sang his praises, “Saul has killed his thousands, David his ten thousands.” The young boy, David, had reached the top. And in his heart and soul the promise of kingship rested, for the prophet Samuel had anointed him.

But now he is on the run, living in caves with criminals and outcasts, with nothing to his name, and no weapons with which to fight. Considered insane by the very people he once conquered, the Philistines, he will survive through the kindness of others and by inquiring of the Lord. And He will become king. In the process he will have to fight and learn to forgive, he will fall in love again, and he will sing a new song.

-

After quite a difficult last few months, dealing with challenges in business, accusation, and an overwhelming workload, I found myself praying the words of Psalm 40 early one morning, that God would answer me as I wait patiently on him, that he would hear my cry. The Psalm starts:

V.1

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

And heard my cry.

V. 2

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

As I read the words aloud I came upon verse 3:

V.3

He has put a new song in my mouth –

Praise to our God…

I stopped and thought about that. “He has put a new song… “ What does a new song have to do with God saving David?

The answer would come to me one evening, during one of my legendarily long baths. As I stood under the shower, the hot water easing my tired self after another deflating day, I thought about everything I was doing and the challenges in some of the businesses, that despite MY obedience and MY hard work and MY accomplishments the burdens seem to keep getting heavier and the adversity much tougher. I found myself asking God for answers. Why do my days feel like a roller coaster, one day high on achievement and the next day crushed beneath responsibility? Why do the events surrounding me seem to block the prophecies planted in my heart? Why do you raise my hopes only to allow them to be crushed anyway? And as I was running through it all in my head the audible voices of women chanting interrupted my arrogance, “Saul has killed his thousands. David his ten thousands. Saul has killed his thousands. David his ten thousands.” Over and over I could hear them, “Saul has killed his thousands. David his ten thousands. Saul has killed his thousands. David his ten thousands.” And I felt myself shiver and couldn’t help but cringe, because I finally understood. Just like David in the Bible, God had to remove the old song of my soul, my own praises, the pride in my own achievements and respectability, so that He could replace it with a new song – praises to Him.

There’s nothing that brings out the worst in people like a problem. Tempers rise, greed awakens, worry abounds, short-cuts are taken, accusations are hurled, and relationships are strained during times of testing. It’s easy to rationalize our evil actions as our effort to solve our problems but this kind of response doesn’t solve anything, it actually leads to more problems. I always believed that the purpose of adversity was to make me stronger. I would face a challenge that would reveal my limitations and I would respond by working harder, studying more, sleeping less, pushing people more, sacrificing more, anything to help me rise up to the test because I knew that after all the effort I would be better and more capable. While this is partially true, I realize now that I had missed the real purpose of adversity and, because I did, missed out on its true benefit as well.

The purpose of adversity is to humble us, to bring us to a point where we realize we cannot do it alone, and to respond, not in self-reliance and human effort, but to respond in worship. In adversity we see how incapable we are and how much God is really worth. And that is worship, to ascribe to God His true worth. Amazingly, when we enter God’s presence and worship we are able to overcome for in God’s presence is fullness of joy (somewhere in Psalm 16), and the joy of the Lord is our strength (somewhere in Nehemiah), the strength we need to defeat whatever we’re facing.

David had learned the secret to overcoming, and he found it in the new song God had taught him. One of my favorite verses in the Bible goes, in Isaiah 26:3-4: You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength. With the understanding of the true purpose of adversity we are led to worship, and then we experience the true benefit, which is not so much that we can rise up, but so that we can see our God rise up for us.