There’s a strong breeze blowing my hair in all directions as I sit here typing this. I forgot to bring cooking stuff and food, so I’m sustained by a jar of chunky peanut butter, boysenberry Yoplait, and milk straight from the carton for dinner. It’s times like these that I realize I need someone – someone like Cording, our family’s incredible cook when I was growing up.

Earlier, I went sailing in not-exactly-sunny weather. Sailing is always a nice way to escape and think (though my forehead still hurts from the hit I took from a wrong tack that knocked me completely off the boat).

I’ve taken off for the next few days to bike, sail, rest, and reflect, to thank God for a wonderful 2010, and to prepare for 2011. This end-of-year / start-of-year practice is something I’ve been doing for a long time now, first with my family as a child, now own my own, and it’s something I intend to continue with my own wife and children.

Resolutions and Goals
Many of you are also probably going to do the same and work on ever-popular-but-usually-doomed-to-fail New Year’s resolutions, life goals, or faith goals. And many times, the things we write come up to nothing more than a depressing list of unfulfilled dreams. Remember that our nicest ideas and greatest intentions are worth very little if never realized. The reason why I think this happens is because we’ve forgotten the definition of two important words: resolution and goal.

A resolution is something we have “resolved” to accomplish which means it is something we have non-negotiably decided to achieve.

A goal is a target we are aiming for, and just like with shooting, the trick is to focus all your actions to concentrate on hitting whatever it is you’ve set your sites on, and of course, you have to fire. You can’t just aim forever.

So as you work on your resolutions and goals keep these two words in mind. Decide on what you non-negotiably intend to achieve and focus your sites.

A Foundation of Values
Another common mistake people make when writing their resolutions and goals is that they actually make “wish lists” which end up becoming “might-do lists” or a list of things we hope to accomplish given all the factors line up – which rarely happens. The whole “wish list” effect happens because we usually cook up our lists this way:

1. We ask ourselves or someone asks a guide question such as: How do you see your 2011? Picture what 2011 looks like, what do you see?”
2. We then proceed to think about and imagine what 2011 looks like.
3. Then we write it down.
The flaw in this approach is that while vision is a very powerful thing (how we picture things is many times the map our life follows), our minds and imaginations can play tricks on us and might lead us to two possible resolutions:

• Unrealistic, unrelated, defocused, and unachievable resolutions
• Fearful, limited, uncreative, and uninspiring resolutions.

Either way, we will most probably fail to see our resolutions fulfilled.

Instead, start with VALUES before vision. Start with what’s most important to you and work your way down. Depending on what’s important to you, you can now picture or vision-cast how you’d like those important things to look like.

Knowing what’s really important helps you focus on the essentials of your life, not the nice distractions – and the best distractions are always nice. It’s that lady in a red dress as the Matrix pointed out.

Knowing what’s really important also keeps you motivated because you know that each step you take is a step closer to something or someone you treasure. Striving for things we don’t value is drudgery. Living, even sacrificing our life, for something we value is satisfying.

Most of all, knowing what’s really important assures us that when we do achieve our resolutions and goals we will be met with the fulfilling feeling of attaining things of worth, not the disappointment of realizing you put all that effort for empty treasures.

How to Eat an Elephant
There’s only one way to eat a pachyderm (or anything for that matter). Chop it up into small pieces and eat it piece by piece. (If you’re a smart ass and don’t like the idea of elephant sashimi, chop it up, cook it, and then eat it.)

My point is: work in manageable increments.

Even as I try to stay a realist, I like to encourage people to dream as big as they can, but of course, based on what they value. As it’s been said, dreaming is free so dream big. But to achieve our grand resolutions and dreams and goals and hopes, we have to break things up into things we can handle such as daily tasks that can form a routine, events on our calendar, little contributions to our savings account, or even setting a date night with each kid. Our incredible elephant-like dreams become achievable when we break them down into daily action items, knowing that someday they will all add up to dreams come true.

Remember this: no one is born a success or a failure. We either become a success or a failure depending on the little increments we add to our life. Successful people, people who achieve what they set out to do, are those who, through discipline, focus, and perseverance, little by little move closer to their goals.

Failures are also produced incrementally. It’s one decision to be lazy, plus another moment of procrastination. It’s the trading of uncomfortable necessities (such as exercise and hard work) for initially more fun and more comfortable activities (such as entertainment and self-indulgence). It’s taking the small shortcuts we think will get us ahead but really leads us nowhere. Before we know it the increments have added up and we’re “fat” with baggage we never wanted.

The good news is we can stop at whatever point we’re at, and begin taking the little increments to a better life.

If you want to lose weight, start by subtracting something from your diet. If you want to gain weight, add something. If you want to discipline yourself to read the Bible everyday, start by reading one verse, and just add to it as it reveals itself to you – and it will. If you want to be kinder, start by deciding to do one act of kindness each week, if that’s too much, do once a month. If you want to be more productive, start by setting aside one hour to work without distractions. Whatever it is just start, and start in small manageable pieces.

The Righteous Shall Live by Faith
If I were to describe 2010, I would describe it as the year of “running to God”. This year I moved out of my parents’ home, worked on the businesses Issho Genki (Squalene) and naturalhealth.ph+ (natural health products), AXIO (online services), and Emergy (emerging markets business development), continued to serve the foundations Real LIFE (education), Habitat for Humanity (housing), and CCT (microfinance), and somehow managed to keep painting, reading, playing my sports, and of course, writing. I wish I set aside more time for piano and sailing, which I intend to do next year, but we can only do so much. How I was able to survive this year I can only point to God. I can’t say I always had the money, many times I didn’t. I can’t say I had the strength. This year was so busy and tiring that I lost about 15lbs! I can’t say I knew all the answers. I’ve never had so many unanswered questions and requests in my life. All I had, all I have, is a faithful Father, and my eyes start to tear as I write this, that embraced me with love through every lonely night, that met me with acceptance and forgiveness after every sin, that made a way for me despite every closed door.

I add this part to remind you of one last thing as I conclude, one last word: FAITH. Through all your value-mapping, vision-casting, and breaking down into manageable action points remember that you have a Father who knows the desires of your heart, who sees and rewards your efforts, and who’s desire is that you live fulfilled in relationship with him.

So how do you eat an elephant? Take it on in faith.