Waiting for the sun to rise
Waiting for clearer skies
Hoping against hope
Barely able to cope
Praying for open eyes
Praying for answers to my cries
Please please please
Bring ease
Please please please
Bring peace
Waiting
You Are Worthy of All Praise
I see the sun rise
In the darkest hour of night
I see the glorious
Though I’ve lost my sight
I see Your face
In this dying place
I’ve found your grace
Inside Your embrace
You bring joy to my days
You are worthy of all praise
The Dying Art of Thinking
Got this from my friend Mark Baretto. It’s by Ravi Zacharias, one of my favorite writers. I highly recommend that you read this. When our thinking remains shallow, we end up attracted to shallow things, pursuing shallow desires, and living shallow lives. It’s easier to do what everyone else is doing or approves of. It’s easier to like what everyone else likes. Don’t be simple minded. Think. Study. Learn. Commit.
The Dying Art of Thinking
The 17th-century French philosopher Rene Descartes (pronounced Day-Kart) is best known for his dictum, “I think, therefore, I am.” A cynic may well quip that Descartes actually put des cart before des horse, because all he could have legitimately deduced was, “I think, therefore, thinking exists.” I do not intend to defend or counter Cartesian philosophy; I only wish to underscore that thinking has much to do with life and certainty.
One of the tragic casualties of our age has been that of the contemplative life—a life that thinks, thinks things through, and more particularly, thinks God’s thoughts after Him.
A person sitting at his desk and staring out of the window would never be assumed to be working. No! Thinking is not equated with work. Yet, had Newton under his tree, or Archimedes in his bathtub bought into that prejudice, some natural laws would still be up in the air, or buried under an immovable rock. Pascal’s Pensees, a work that has inspired millions, would have never been penned.
The Bible places supreme value in the thought life. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” Solomon wrote. Jesus asserted that sin’s gravity lay in the idea itself, not just the act. Paul admonished the church at Philippi to have the mind of Christ, and to the same people he wrote, “Whatever is true . . . pure . . . if there be any virtue . . . think on these things.”
The follower of Christ must demonstrate to the world what it is not just to think, but to think justly. But how does one manage this in a culture where progress is determined by pace and defined by quantity?
What is even more destructive is that the greatest demand comes from neither speed nor quantity, but rather from the assumption that silence is inimical to life.
The radio in the car, Muzak in the elevator, and the symphony entertaining the “on hold” callers add up as impediments to personal reflection. In effect, the mind is denied the privilege of living with itself even briefly, and is crowded with outside impulses to cope with aloneness.
Aldous Huxley’s indictment, “Most of one’s life . . . is one prolonged effort to prevent thinking”, seems frightfully true. The price paid for this scenario has been devastating. T. S. Eliot observed:
“Where is the life we have lost in the living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information ?
The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries
bring us farther from God and nearer to dust.”
Is there a remedy? May I make some suggestions for personal and corporate benefit?
Study God’s Word
Nothing ranks higher for mental discipline than a planned and systematic study of God’s Word, from whence life’s parameters and values are planted in the mind. Paul, who loved his books and parchments, affirmed the priority of Scripture: “Do not go beyond what is written.” Psalm 119 promises that God’s statutes keep us from being double-minded.
Read Great Books
The English-speaking world is endowed with a wealth of books. But much contemporary literature comes perilously close to a promiscuous religion with an appeal for the “feel better” syndrome, rather than the impetus to “go deeper.”
Read authors who stretch you and introduce you to other writings as well. Great writers stimulate your capacity to think beyond their ideas, spawning fresh insights and extensions of your own. Good reading is indispensable to impartation of truth. An expenditure of words without the income of ideas leads to conceptual bankruptcy.
Challenge the Mind
The church as a whole, and thepulpit in particular, must challenge the mind of this generation, else we betray our trust. The average young person today actually surrenders the intellect to the world, presuming Christianity to be bereft of it. Many a pulpit has succumbed to the lie that anything intellectual cannot be spiritual or exciting.
Thankfully there are exceptions. When living in England, our family attended a church pastored by Roy Clements, one of the finest preachers in the western world. Every Sunday at two morning services he preached a one-hour sermon to a packed auditorium.
Cambridge, being rife with skepticism, demanded a meticulous defense of each sermon text from the assaults of liberalism. An introduction of a technical nature would take up to 15 minutes of his time before he entered into the heart of his message.
I mention this to say one thing. When we were leaving Cambridge, Nathan, who was nine years old, declared the preaching of Roy Clements to be one of his fondest memories. Even as a little boy he had learned that when the mind is rightly approached, it filters down to the heart. The matter I share here has far-reaching implications. We do a disservice to our youth by not crediting them with the capacity to think. We cannot leave this uncorrected.
This is our first issue of Just Thinking. It is our hope that this newsletter will challenge your mind and stir your heart. After all, it is not that I think, therefore, I am, but rather, the Great I Am has asked us to think, and therefore, we must. And we must serve Him with all our minds.
Someday I’m Going to Die
I woke up to thoughts of the end. The end of stories, the end of wonderful things, the end of life, it’s all going to end some day.
Someday I am going to die, and I’m grateful to God for His promises, that there is no need to fear death.
For now, I want to experience the richness of this part of my life, and it truly is just a small part of the eternity we live in.
I realized that the good life has very little to do with the number of days, and more to do with the passion within each day.
It has less to do with how much you have, and more to do with how much you gave.
It has less to do with the comforts you enjoyed, and more to do with the comfort you extended.
It’s not about becoming better than others, not even about bettering one’s self, rather, it is more about making others better.
It’s not so much what we have experienced, but more about the people we shared the moments with.
It’s not so much about finding acceptance, but more about accepting what you’ve found.
It’s not about garnering respect, but learning to be awed by respectable things.
It’s not about the joy of being acknowledged, but about acknowledging the joy of just being.
It’s not about being entertained or caught in euphoria, but about discovering the rapture of what is truly beautiful.
Somewhere, at some point, we lost it, when we decided it was better to love living than to live loving.
Bleeding
Flesh torn from flesh
A throbbing heart
Dies with each beat
Morning Sun
Light begins to stream through the gaps in my curtains, drawing bright lines on the wooden floors. When you look closely you’ll see little particles dancing within their beams. They’re flying, no, floating. They’re falling. I may not see the sun rise every morning, the view’s blocked from my bed, but the proof of day is unmistakably clear, even if the proof is a few bars.
We don’t need to see the sun rise to know that darkness has fled, we only need to see the light.
We don’t need to feel the sun’s heat to believe, there’s comfort in its warmth.
And those bars are not a cage. They’re proof that night has ended because day has come.
Devotion: Find God In Nature
From the NIV Stewardship Study Bible:
Today’s reading: Psalm 66:1-20
In Psalms 65 and 66, the psalmist recounts all that God has done and all that he has created. In jubilant psalms of praise, the psalmist describes God’s “awesome and righteous deeds” (Ps 65:5), God’s power displayed in his creation, God’s abundance in caring for the land and watering it, God’s bounty in providing for humankind and animals alike. “Come and see what God has done,” he says in Psalm 66. “his awesome deeds for mankind” (Ps 66:5). Physician and author J. Matthew Sleeth invites us to share the healing that comes from bearing witness to the miracle of God’s creation:
When the psalmists advise us how to heal spiritually, they do not tell us to purchase a television, car, house, self-help book, or exercise equipment. God, they say, is to be found in the natural world that he created, a world filled with the grandeur, beauty, and peace that are so often lacking in our material world.
What remedy does God prescribe for our souls? [Quiet] waters and green pastures (see Ps 23:2). Find a place where there is nothing man-made in sight. Sit or lie down. Be still, and know who God is (see Ps 46:10). Do not pray. Do not worry. Do not think. Your house, your cell phone, and your new kitchen do not give glory to God. The Bible states that if it is God-made (streams, mountains, birds, trees), it praises God … When only God-made things surround you, you are in a fellowship of praise.
If you live in a city, try to find one small area that consists of only God-made things. If you must, lie on your stomach and stare at a one-square-foot area. If there is noise or highway sound, put your hands over your ears. You will hear the sound of your own pulse and breath. That’s okay. And that’s the point. You are God-made. We have forgotten that we have far more in common with a honeybee than we do with our SUV or DVD …
Perhaps many of our problems, including those of depression and anxiety, are warning signals that we are living a lifestyle that God does not sanction or want us to lead. The response to mental pain and discomfort should be to seek restoring connection with God. In seeking quiet moments, green pastures, and still waters, we may find just what our souls need.
Do you know in which direction the Milky Way traverses the sky? As the phases of the moon progress, does the light go from right to left, or left to right? Can you identify a greater number of trees or cars? If the Bible says God knows every flower and bird, why do we spend so much effort knowing the names of man-made items? Maybe we’re paying attention to the wrong things. Maybe this is why life seems so hard. If this is our Father’s world, maybe we should pay more attention to it.
Have Your Way
My soul is crying out
My heart is broken down
The love I held is gone
No longer rising with the sun
But have Your way
I don’t need to know
I don’t need to understand
I know Your love is true
On Your promises I stand
So have Your way
Let’s Make This Last
Saw this among my old videos. It’s the original version of a song I wrote and played for my brother’s wedding entitled Let’s Make Our Last.
Lyrics:
I.
I’m recounting
How it all began
One smile,
One okay,
One laugh,
Another day
Another everyday day with you
Another everyday day with you
Chorus 1.
I was hoping
Somehow knowing
It was you
I was soaring
Completely falling
Fast for you
Still many things unplanned
But come take my hand
The future’s vast
Let’s make our love last
II.
Has it sunk yet?
Has it sunk at all?
The thought,
Of you,
Of us,
Us two
Finding the best thing that there is
We’ve found the best thing that there is
Chorus 2.
I was wondering
Was I dreaming
But it’s true
Life’s unfolding
I’ll be growing
Old with you
Still many things unplanned
But come take my hand
The future’s vast
Let’s make our love last
Bridge:
I
Neve thought
I needed someone
Was fine on my own
‘Til you
Came along
And proved me
So wrong
Now I’m captured
Enraptured
Captured
Enraptured
Captured since you answered
Repeat Chorus 2.
I was wondering
Was I dreaming
But it’s true
Life’s unfolding
I’ll be growing
Old with you
Still many things unplanned
But come take my hand
The future’s vast
Let’s make our love last
Love Means…
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
- G.K. Chesterton
Black House and Blue Sky
Let’s paint the city Eiffel tower green
and go on a holiday, go on vacation
this is the closest that you’ve ever been,
but you’re still so far away from your destination
you drive an hour but it feels like days,
it’s just buildings and buildings and buildings
and when you finally leave suburban haze
you’re quietly shocked at the thought that we kill things
The black house the blue sky
the black house the blue sky
the blue sky
We left a photograph in letterhead
found in the morning in newspaper sunlight
we left it lying in the kitchen chair
and then the floorboards and hope that it reads right
it’s never easy when we write good-bye
but good-bye is the one word we know
you’ll never make it but we have to try
give in, give up, and let go
give up and let go
The black house, the blue sky (you and I)
in the black house, the blue sky
the blue sky
the black house, the blue sky
this black house, the blue sky
the black house, the blue sky
this black house, the blue sky
the blue sky (blue sky)
We left the ending locked inside that room
and you hold the key
you push open the door
and then you see
You see the black house and the blue sky
and you and i
you see the black house and the blue sky
and you and i
you see the black house and the blue sky
Mother’s Day Lesson: Make the Sacrifice
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
- Mother Mary
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
- John 15:13
This is a long post. It’s Mother’s Day, and I think it deserves a lot of attention.
In my last post, I shared about my conversation with Carlos Antonio and how he recounted his marriage talk with his 6-year old girl, Bella. You may read it here: Walk Me Down. This is sort of a part-2 post but switching gears for Mother’s Day because during our conversation, I started teasing Carlos that Bella got her incredible emotions and sweetness from him. For those of you who don’t know Carlos, he is a very gentle, kind, very welcoming, understanding, tactful, patient, forgiving, very thoughtful, sweet, and emotional guy, which basically means he’s everything girls complain that their man is not, and which also means, I have a looong way to go, a looong way to go.
Anyway, back to Carlos.
The interesting thing about his friendly personality and approach to life, is that his whole family is like that. I was classmates with his sister, Janelle and have met his brother, Gerard, and they’re all incredibly nice people. So I told Carlos, with admittedly some envy, “You’re all so nice. You, Gerard, Janelle, you’re all such amazingly sweet people, and now your kids are super sweet too. Even your mom…”
And that’s when I realized, the fruit truly does not fall far from the tree. They were nice, incredibly nice, because their mother, Tita Ditas, had modeled that lifestyle to them. From what I remember of Tita Ditas, since I haven’t seen her in a long time, she is very prayerful, always full of joy, loves people, loves to serve, and hardly ever negative. She reminds me of another great mother I admire, Doris Albornoz, who raised one of my childhood best friends, Zach.
Before leaving for the US a few weeks ago, I spent some time with Zach, his wife, Rinka, and their new baby, Malaya, who I happen to be a godfather to. We talked about how our lives have changed from when we were kids, how we now have to take responsibility for the outcomes of our lives, and in his case, his family. I was looking at their new baby, their new loft, and I was incredibly happy for my friend. Driving back, I remembered how his mother, Tita Doris, would drive him to school in a really old car, how she would wait for him and his sister, and how she was also able to help, along with my mom, in Sunday School back in the 1990s, how she met with other women and encouraged them, and how she managed to be in every wake and every funeral to comfort people. Tita Doris remembers everyone’s birthday, and come to think of it, Zach does too. On the outside, Zach looks like he crushes people to a pulp for a living, but when you see him with his family and hear about his insights, you know that this person has depth. I credit that to the perseverance and prayerfulness of his mom.
Sacrifice
When I think about Carlos and Zach, and how they’ve become deep responsible adults who not only take care of their families, but also play a part in their community, I think about the mothers who raised them.
See, I haven’t mentioned that both Tita Ditas and Tita Doris are single mothers. For whatever reason, they found themselves in a situation that wasn’t ideal, and even more, a situation that was very difficult. But they overcame their circumstance with faith, with hope, and, the greatest of all, love.
They didn’t rely on a man, their men had let them down. They didn’t rely on the money, they couldn’t because they didn’t have it. They didn’t rely on their superior strategy, there is none with kids. There was no assurance that their hard work would pay off, I remember Zach and I getting into all sorts of trouble as young men. They overcame by their faith in God, they held on to their hope for their families, and they showed their love through their sacrifice.
I remember my own mom and the sacrifices she made to raise my brothers and I. What a lot of people don’t know is that before we were born, my mom had a copyrighting business. She was brilliant, incredibly creative and a UP scholar. She didn’t become a full-time mom because she couldn’t get another gig. She just knew that she wanted to be with her kids, and we were more than a handful. Yesterday, while at the supermarket with my mom, I remembered how I once crashed the cart through an exhibit of stacked Nescafe bottles. That must have been incredibly embarrassing for her. She also used to tell me of when she used to cry every night because of my stubbornness and temper. I’m not going to mention our adult stubbornness but there’s a lot of that too.
But the point of all of this is one word: sacrifice.
People don’t like that word today. That word conjures images of altars, dead animals, and a lot of suffering. People today have a romanticized view of life. They see a few celebrities living it up and they think that’s what life should be like. We see that in parenting as well. Who doesn’t want to become a glamour parent who looks hot, has money, wears the right things, and gets all the compliments? While there’s nothing wrong with any of these things, none of these have anything to do with being a great parent. If you have these, great. If you don’t, it’s just as great. What’s important is that we put our children first, by that I mean we put their well-being, their character formation, their education and development before our own needs and desires.
That’s tough! Which is also why they should be honored. But honor them for the right reasons don’t glamorize them.
When I look at examples of great mothers, they’re usually under-appreciated, but fulfilled. They understand the joys of sacrifice because they see it very differently from people like me who can be more selfish.
Sacrifice is not weakness. it takes more strength to say give me your load. It’s much easier to delegate child-raising to others.
It’s not stupidity, it takes wisdom to know that someday, all the bags, all the pampering, all the parties, all the society photos, all the vacations, all the workouts and fat lost, all the compliments in the world, will not come close to the fulfillment of building a family that loves each other. It’s a longer term investment, and it is difficult, but as any value-investor will tell you, you have to give it time.
All the successful people I know, in any field, made sacrifices to get to where they are. It makes complete sense to make the biggest sacrifices for the people we love most.
Reward
A few years ago, while attending Zach’s wedding, I remember him taking the microphone and begin honoring his mom. I had never heard him talk that way about her before, but on that day, the day his mom was giving him away, Zach went on and on about just how much he loved his mom and was grateful to her for all the sacrifices. All along, even during the times that seemed like he didn’t care, he was seeing his mom’s sacrifice and it was making its mark. I remember the way Tita Doris looked, and I don’t think she was wishing she spent more time at the salon or at the mall. I don’t think she regretted missing out on parties or never owning a Birkin. I don’t think she was complaining about not having more facials or a nicer house.
No. Not even close.
She was radiating. She had made the right investment. She knew that there’s only 24 hours in a day, she had to devote as much as she could to her family. She knew that there’s only so much energy, so she invested it in pickups and service. She knew there was a window of opportunity that closes little by little as a child grows, so she prioritized. And at that moment, listening to Zach, we were all witnesses to the return on her investment : his love in loads. She was investing wisely all along.
My mom never became a self-made woman. She never really had her own money, and instead relied on my dad’s income which wasn’t always enough. She traded her career in writing to wipe asses and teach her sons not to say, “Son of a Bi***”. (That really must have hurt on hindsight.) I’m not too sure if my mom’s investment has paid off for her. I look at my own life and the patchwork of good, bad, and ugly decisions and wonder how things are going to work out. But someday, I know, people will call her blessed because there’s love, and that’s what makes anything worth it.
Don’t overestimate the glamour. It’s not worth it.
Don’t underestimate the grind. It’s a lot of work.
Make the sacrifices. It will pay off.
Reap the love. It’s worth it.
Walk Me Down
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” – Matthew 19:14
I was at the birthday dinner of my very good friend Roxanne Lee (check out her co-blog My Doolally), and was talking to another good friend, Carlos Antonio about his kids Bella and Hannah, two of the sweetest little ladies I’ve met. He was telling me about how he had a moment with his six year old daughter when she very innocently asked him if he would do her wedding because he’s a pastor, and Carlos said, “Yes, if you want me to.” Then she realized that would be a problem because he wouldn’t be able to walk her down the aisle if he was standing at the minister’s spot. Carlos, being the sensitive guy that he is, understandingly told her, “Bella, if you want me to officiate, I’ll officiate. If you want me to walk you, of course I’ll walk you. When you decide, just tell me what you want.” All of a sudden, Bella started running to him crying, hugged him tightly and said, “I want you to walk me down the aisle!” Carlos’ eyes were moistening as he recounted how they both embraced each other and cried together as he reassured her, “I would be honored walk you down the aisle.”
Girls are really different. I mean, who thinks of getting married at 6??? When I was six years old I had more important things on my mind, like saving the world from Cobra Commander for example. (If you don’t know what Cobra is click here.)
As I remember Carlo’s story about Bella, his daughter, I’m struck by the uniqueness of her concern. Many times, when I hear girls talk about their dream wedding, it’s about the gown (or the designer of the gown), the ring, it’s about the kind of place, about the color scheme, how many guests, and the many romantic touches we all love. Bella, six-year old Bella, even as she excitedly talked about her wedding that’s at least a decade from now, was thinking about her pastor and her father. I’m amazed at the depth of her maturity, that even when it came to her dream big day, she was thinking of the spiritual aspect as well as the relational.
What a reminder for me. What a reminder for us. Do we, in our dreams, ambitions, goals, and desires think of the spiritual and relational? Or are we looking at thing that makes us most proud and most insecure at the same time, the mirror, too much?
Walk me down this life, Father. Walk me to Your purpose, where there is unconditional love and fullness of joy.
Dark Shadow
Large shadow floats
Darkened by he who gloats
Filled with shrieks and cries
Infested with flies of lies
Grant me strength for the fight
Surround me with a shield of light
Hold me up with Your might
Help me not lose sight
Catching All Day
Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around – nobody big, I mean – except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff – I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be.
- Holden Caulfield
The Rich Poor and the Poor Rich
To stop my grumbling at 6 years old, my dad brought me to the slums of Manila to see what poor means. Some adults need to make that trip. Rich is the poor man who counts his blessings. Poor is the rich man who notices only his lack.
Love Is As Love Does
I’ve been using the jetlag from my recent trip to accustom myself to new sleeping habits. I’m now in bed around 10-10:30pm and up by 5am. Since I’m not used to sleeping so much I’ve been finding myself up at 12am, going back to bed, then up again at 3, then back, or, like today, I just stayed up and read.
While reading earlier I came across a refreshing take on love by author Sherryl Paul. It’s not original. It is basically what the Bible teaches us love to be in 1 Corinthians 13, but it’s refreshing to read a more unselfish picture of love than the ones we are used to receiving.
She talks about the “delusion of love” propagated by mainstream media and how we’re chasing a feeling that is bound to fade. Instead she says:
“Love is action. Love is tolerance. Love is learning your partner’s love language and then expressing love in a way that he can receive. Love is giving. Love is receiving. Love is plodding through the slow eddies of a relationship without jumping ship into another’s churning rapids. Love is recognizing that it’s not your partner’s job to make you feel alive, fulfilled, or complete; that’s your job.”
She then follows this up with a classic from The Road Less Traveled:
“Love is as love does. Love is an act of will — namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love. By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love I am also implying that real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real love often occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel loving.”
I was hit by the reminder that true love is most real when it is given despite the lack of romantic feeling and even despite pain. She has more to say on love and the need for a shift in our thinking. You can read it for yourself in the link I included above. I do want to highlight what she says about choosing a mate: find someone with the most underrated quality of character.
Character. Let’s look that word up and discover what it means, that we may recognize it when it’s there and know when it’s not, that we may teach our children to pursue good character and not passing feelings. Even further, let us draw near to God and discover His character. He loves in word and deed, and His perfect love casteth out fear. (1 John 4:18)
Your Word Is True
I cannot ignore Your Word
It’s punishments,
It’s promises
I cannot step off the edge
Without gravity,
Without a fall
Yet, in fear, I can rest
In Your mercy,
In Your peace
I cannot ignore Your word
Your promise of love,
Your gift of grace
Thoughts On Love
Love is most threatened in offense,
Most necessary in weakness,
Most powerfully displayed in forgiveness.
Memorial
Soft grass
On bare feet
For a moment
Forgetting death’s meet
Stones line
Memorials to life
Yet emptiness resides
Where death is rife
That was quick
That was fast
Even the memory
Will not last
Ripen
My view of the world is changing. I think it comes with age, with exposure, and, hopefully, maturity. Many people go through life collecting memories and experiences but do not mature, meaning, their life lessons didn’t cause them to ripen to a delicious fruit for the glory of God and the blessing of their fellowman.
Rather, they have become spoiled.
I wrote about this in another article:
“Spoiled people are those who have become unfit to face realities and recognize the beauty of life.
The beautiful thing about being human is that we have a special kind of life. We do not merely exist. We have a soul and spirit. Unlike fruit, that is wasted when rotten, we can transcend the rottenness of our current situation; we can go beyond the limitations and the baggage we have collected. We can ripen into something sweet instead of rot towards bitterness.
How?
I believe everyone’s path is different but here’s what I like to remind myself:
Store my joys and remember my blessings that I may always be grateful. Strengthen my faith with the promises of His Word. And when I’m afraid, or lonely, or in pain, I simply say, “Father, I’m afraid. Please protect me. I’m lonely. Please keep me company. I’m in pain. Please comfort me. Help my experiences mature me, ripen me, to the person You want me to be.”
If there is anything my life has taught me, while there’s no one formula that fits all, there’s one God that does.
If You Want…
One of the questions people ask me quite often is “What is your type of woman?” I don’t know why anyone is interested. It’s not like I consider myself part of the proverbial “market”. But I guess we are like that. We like to make other people’s lives our business, even as areas of our own life need more attention.
I’ve had some time to think about my answer to this question that was initially triggered by questions on my formspring page, and then was spurred by recent events in my life and my dad’s continuous comments on how he wants grandchildren. As I typed thoughts on the plane ride to Tokyo, I remembered when my mom once told me to make a list of the kind of wife I wanted. I jokingly put things like “can cook”, “can clean the house well”, and “can change a flat tire”. Remembering that list, though funny, reveals the reality of the selfishness of my heart. Even as I was supposed to think about the wife I would love, I was really thinking more about me.
So I’m giving this question more time and will publish my personal thoughts on the topic as they come.
For starters I’d like to leave you with a paraphrased version of what Mark Driscoll, on one of his podcasts, said: “instead of dreaming up your ideal partner become that ideal partner”.
So here’s the reminder for us:
If you want to be loved unconditionally, love without conditions.
If you want to be trusted completely, entrust yourself completely.
If you want to be shown kindness, be kind to others.
If you want to be fought for, fight for something, or someone.
If you want to be generously blessed, bless others generously.
If you want to be forgiven, forgive.
What is the Wise Way?
What is the wise way?
Run from hardship if the goal is comfort
Run from sacrifice if the goal is have
Run from pain if the goal is pleasure
Run from risk and doubt if the goal is security
Run from the fight if the goal is safety
But if the goal is to fly, I must face the edge and launch myself, and trust on wings of faith and hope.
I Think About Such Things
You stay when others run
You’re here despite of me
For these my heart sings
I think about such things
You comfort me in accusation
You bless when others take
You heal the painful stings
I think about such things
You’ve paid my every debt
Thought others won’t forget
To You my soul clings
I think about such things
You defend me from lies
And with blessings surprise
Oh, the benefits Your love brings
I think about such things
Teaching Kids About Money: Introduction
I can still remember the day the hard reality of life hit me. I had just moved out of my parents’ home into a barely furnished apartment, and was going to buy a few things when I realized I could not afford the things I wanted. I thought to myself:
EVERYTHING has a cost.
A second thought entered my head right after:
I’ve been living freely because someone else was paying for my life – my parents.
I wasn’t buying anything fancy, or so I thought. I was only looking for the items and brands I had gotten used to growing up. I never realized how much it had cost my parents to maintain my life.
I had no option but to downscale my standard of living, and even then the expenses seemed huge. Any amount seems huge to someone who never really had to pay for much. The thread count on my sheets went down, started using points to buy appliances, ate much less, cut gym memberships, and watched less movies among other cost-cutting efforts I had to adopt. Even then, monthly bills have not always been easy to meet.
It’s that experience of having to adjust from “free-loader” to “ends-meeter” that has inspired this collaboration between my teaching company, Business Dashboard, and financial expert, Randell Tiongson, to talk about how to teach kids about mainly 3 things:
1. The value of money (the importance of money)
2. The value of stewardship (working hard to increase wealth)
3. The value of contentment and generosity (mastering money)
I have to admit that I have to relearn these three things. It’s one thing to be taught these lessons; it’s a totally different experience to have to practice them. We’re hoping that this series will help parents prepare their kids for financial responsibility.
Let Me Live Today
Let me live today
Let not hurt take away
The joys that outweigh
The current decay
Give me strength to stay
Not in fear, runaway
From having to repay
The wrong of yesterday
All By Grace
And what turns every end, every close, every heartbreak, every loss, and every finish beautiful? The love, forgiveness, and redemption, and hope found in grace – God’s grace that turns any experience into a catapult to bring you to where He wants to take you. – The Beautiful End
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.
Ephesians 2:8-9
I’m very grateful for my family. I’m grateful for my Papa, who has shown me what it means to have strength, passion, and faith. I’m grateful for my Mama, who is a great example of gentleness, kindness, humility, and generosity. I’m grateful for my older brother, Joseph, who is intelligent, wise and insightful. And how can I not be grateful for my younger brother, Joshua, who has shown me what it means to love others and find ways to enjoy life. Even the newest addition to our family, Vito, my mom’s dog, has been a pleasure to have – even if it means my allergies flaring whenever I’m over.
For many people, especially those who don’t know my family too well, this picture of a pastor’s loving family, a strong marriage, three boys that include another pastor, a businessman, and Mr. Congeniality, and finally, a cute dog, may seem ideal. Some may see this as an example to follow, while others may see this as an unreachable ideal. But I’d like to take the time to direct the attention away from my family and point it where it belongs, to our Father. I think this is important before we go forward with this series because underneath all these funny, sad, meaningful, simple and profound experiences, is God’s faithfulness.
The Celebrity Crisis
One of the problems with our celebrity culture is how we put humans on pedestals. We have mini-idols in disguise (which is really just an idol). We admire them, watch their lives and follow them. We have crushes on them. We want to be like them. We want to be with them. We wish our wife looked more like her or our husband was more like him. We wonder what they’re buying and wish we could afford their purchases. We want to wear what they’re wearing; somehow believing that maybe someone will desire us as much as we desire them. We wish we were as smart, or made the same business decisions, or as lucky. We make them special in our life. We make them important. They’re special enough to Google over and over and watch videos of them on YouTube or Vimeo. They’re important enough to influence our opinions, our habits, our thinking, and our decisions.
The problem with this is we unconsciously create an unrealistic expectation of others and of ourselves. When this idealized human being becomes the standard, then people who don’t meet that standard are not given as much importance, and at the same time we strive for that standard, becoming proud when we meet it and discouraged when we don’t. We have put so much pressure on ourselves. We’re pressured to have money. We’re pressured to spend. We’re pressured to be stylish. We’re pressured to have a loving family. We’re pressured to have cool friends. We’re pressured to have conquests. We’re pressured to lose our virginity. We’re pressured to keep our virginity. We’re pressured to have a six-pack. We’re pressured to drink a six-pack. We’re pressured to follow rules. We’re pressured to break rules. We’re pressured to save and invest. We’re pressured to shop and splurge. We’re pressured to be religious. We’re pressured to be relevant. We’re pressured to meet the standards of our idols.
We’re pressured to become an air-brushed, fully-sponsored, cosmetically-altered, PR-aided person whose smartest lines were read from a script, and whose best moments took more than one take.
In short, we’re never going to be like that. No one will. Not even the real people behind our idols.
You might say, “I’m not pressured at all, David”. Then why is there this never-ending need to be validated? Why is there no contentment? Why is there no satisfaction? Why do we feel left out when we miss the must-sees and must -dos? Years from now, is anyone really going to remember who went to what, who earned how much when, who had what bag, or whether you were hot in high school? And if so, will it really matter?
I thought this was a post about your family?
It is.
As I write about my family, as I share the lessons and experiences, I don’t want anyone to think that we’re special because of who we are. I don’t want to paint an idealized picture or be put on a pedestal. We are no different from you. We’re special because our Father, who is also your Father, loves us.
We can be selfish just like everyone else. We can be prideful (maybe even more than most). We can be critical, unkind, and mean. We can be lacking and poor. We can be lustful and greedy. We can be impatient and grumble. We can be hurt and empty. There have been many arguments and fights. There have been times of desperation and shame. There have been times of lack and want. There have been moments of insecurity. There are many many mistakes, some known, some private. There have been failed businesses and broken relationships. There’s been alcohol, drugs, debt, and battles.
It’s all there.
I remember a specific period of my life where a bottle of vodka or sake sat on my bedside table beside my Bible. I would read and drink myself to sleep. I’ve given up the bottle. Maybe that’s why I have a hard time sleeping. Haha!
I’m sure you have your own challenges. I’m sure you have your own needs, your own dreams on hold and unanswered prayers. I’m sure you have your own questions and doubts. We all are trying to reconcile the grand purpose in our hearts with the limitations of our reality, and we’re all fighting to overcome.
It Is A Gift
When I think about my life, when I think about my family, all our mistakes, and our blessings despite our mistakes, I’m reminded of this idea: it is a gift.
I just celebrated my birthday, and despite what some people think, no one deserves a gift on his or her birthday. Gifts are given not earned. We don’t have a right to gifts, but we can enjoy them when they are given to us. It’s absurd for anyone to feel bad for not getting a gift. If you were entitled to it, it would be a right. If you earned it, it would be a reward. But gifts are special because they are given freely.
Life, everyone single one of our lives, is a gift, and it is powered by another gift: grace. We don’t deserve it yet we cannot earn it. We don’t need to prove to anyone that we have it. We only need to accept it to walk in it.
What makes my family’s group of broken individuals whole? Grace. What makes two selfish people love one another? Grace. What covers over a multitude of sins and allows for forgiveness? Grace. What frees us from our addictions? Grace. What allows a poor family to give generously? Grace. What allows some very insecure people to lead others? Grace.
We have been given a gift. We cannot boast.
You have been offered that gift too, and I look forward to someday reading your own stories of grace.
Before We Grumble…
It’s been difficult to work. It’s been so hot. I was just walking to my car from the office and I was already sweating. My ungrateful heart was about to grumble when I noticed some people trying to catch a jeep. It reminded me of when my friend and I, while driving around Manila, saw a family with a little baby walking up an on-ramp just to catch a ride to who knows where. Very quickly my disdain for the heat was dwarfed by my disdain for my ungratefulness. I’m walking in the heat…
… But to a car. A car with airconditioning.
I jumped into my car and saw that my gas level had already dropped a lot, and again my grumbling started. Then I realized: I have gas. Most people in the world only have the gas in their stomach. I have gas. And I’ll be driving to a meeting because I have a job, which has been very stressful the past 5 years but at least I have one. Because I have some skills. Because I have hands. Because my hands are connected to my brain. Because my brain powers so many other functions, including my mind. Because I’m alive. Because I have a purpose. Because He has a plan for me.
I realized two things:
The first is, a grumbling heart will grumble no matter what. It will never be satisfied. Here I am grumbling about the heat. Somewhere else, someone is grumbling about the cold. Somewhere else, it’s the rain that’s ruining the day. Somewhere else it’s a typhoon. Somewhere else there’s a flood. Somewhere it’s too dark. Somewhere it’s too bright. Somewhere it’s too wet. Somewhere it’s too dry. Somewhere it’s too noisy. Somewhere it’s too quiet.
We’re masters at spotting what’s wrong and weak at embracing what’s right. That’s not a sign of sophisticated thinking. That’s a sign of how shallow our spirits and souls are.
The second is, many times we grumble about things but forget that these sometimes small sometimes big inconveniences were brought about by great blessings. We complain about the stress of our jobs, which allow us to afford our lives. We complain about the heat, which is one reason why we’re a great vacation destination. We complain about our lack, when it is in lack that we are taught contentment. We complain about others, forgetting that many times those “others” made the quality of our life possible without us even acknowledging it.
Before we grumble, let’s be grateful. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll realize, that the blessings, with all their added inconveniences, are worth being joyful for. Grumbling is the most obvious proof that we have taken our blessings for granted.
Against the Flow
“A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.” – GK Chesterton
Slowly to the Grave
It’s no secret that I have a hard time sleeping. I pass the time by reading, painting, and writing, and sometimes, by entertaining myself with my own imagined fiction.
Slowly to the Grave
Nothing stay still in this gust. Not the leaves of the hedges, not the swaying trees, not my dry hair, nothing. My soul fits perfectly in this imbalanced environment, it rests restless with the night.
“Hi.”
I look up to see this fat little girl standing in front of me looking like stacked marshmallows in a girl’s dress.
“Hi.” I murmur back.
“I think you can help me.”
“Help you? I can’t even help myself.” I think to myself as I tell her, “How can I help you?”
“My Mumu is dying. I don’t know what to do.”
“Kid. Everyone is dying. You don’t notice it now. You’re young. But someday you’ll remember what I’m telling you. Every single one of us is dying. Besides, I don’t know and don’t care what a Mumu is.” I can feel my already painful chest tighten as I say this.
She starts to cry.
“Don’t…”
That doesn’t console her.
“I don’t want my Mumu to die.”
“Why’d you ask me? Why don’t you ask someone else? I’m sure someone will help you save your Mumu.”
“No one wants to help me!” she shouts back. “I’ve asked everyone!”
“Everyone?”
“Everyone!”
“That’s impossible! No one knows everyone.”
“Everyone I know!”
“That’s still impossible.”
Now she really starts to cry, burying her oversized head into her small hands. Her sobs are heavy and snotty. I see puffy red eyes when she wipes her tears on her sleves. I don’t know why I feel sympathy for her, it’s not like I’ve been shown much in my lifetime. Come to think of it, the only “pathy” I ever got was my ex-wife’s a-pathy. But for some reason I find myself kneeling down, and with hands on each of her shoulders, I look into her eyes and tell her, “So where can we find Mumu?”
A few short minutes later, holding my hand, she leads me to a garden of thick gnarled trees. I’ve left a trail of bloody spit behind us. I wonder how much I have left.
“There’s Mumu.” she says pointing to the dark spot we approached.
I didn’t know how to tell it to her, so I said it straight, “That looks pretty dead to me. Your Mumu, whatever it is, is dead.”
Flickering Flame
Flickering flame
In my dark heart
A single wick
But a start
Flickering flame
Shut death’s door
Feel the pain
No more
Flickering flame
That You alone see
Uncage my soul
Set it free
The Emperor: Beethoven’s Piano Concerto 5 Mov. 2
This is one of my all-time favorite pieces.
Broken Pieces
There is a story my family likes to recount about my very first LEGO toy. I don’t know why my parents would give a 3-year-old LEGO but they did. (No wonder I grew up so fast!) Anyway, my dad gave me a LEGO police station, built it, and turned it over to me to enjoy. It didn’t take long before my clumsy kid hands crushed the LEGO helicopter sitting on the helipad. So I ran to my dad and asked him to fix it. He took the pieces, rebuilt the helicopter, and handed it back to me. As I was playing, again, I broke the helicopter, and ran back to him. This pattern of my dad building, me breaking, and my dad fixing and handing it back to me pretty much continued the rest of play time. I guess he learned his lesson, because years later, when he bought my younger brother Lincoln Logs, he actually glued the pieces together to prevent us from breaking it and losing the pieces. The funny thing was, we ended up not playing with the Lincoln Logs that often. There was not much we could do with it. All the pieces were fixed. It just sat at the top of a shelf, never broken but never enjoyed, gathering dust until it was given away.
LEGO, on the other hand, would be a constant item on my wish list for the rest of my childhood.
What was the difference between LEGO and Lincoln Logs? What made one memorable and the other ignored? It actually had nothing to do with the toys themselves, but everything to do with relationship. With the Lincoln Logs, my dad came, saw the pieces all over the floor, and conquered with the help of superglue. But with the LEGO set, my dad was beside me, enjoying with me, and willing and able to fix whatever I broke. See, it really wasn’t about the toys. Toys are only popular until a new one comes out. They break, their colors fade, and can be replaced. It was about enjoying playtime with my dad. It was about being on the floor with him, making silly sound effects and imagining a story together. It was about relationship.
It still is.
Sometimes we see people who seem to have it “put together”, and we admire them and wish we could be the same way. Sometimes that’s how we are with our kids or the people around us, we don’t want them to get hurt, hurt others, or even hurt us, so we do our best to “superglue” them in place, to secure their actions so no one gets damaged. Sometimes, in our effort to make life “right” for ourselves and the people around us, we miss the point of things. It’s like the teacher who thought school was about grades, when it’s really about education, or the businessman who thought that his life was about making money, when it’s really about stewarding value. It’s not that grades, or money, or rules are bad, they’re actually very good, and we do need them, but they’re not what life is about. What are all these things worth without people to learn with, enjoy with, and protect?
Life is about relationships, and in relationships, rules will get broken, formulas will fail, principles will be tested, and faith will be stretched. Loved ones will get sick, we will get hurt, there will be suffering, and definitely sacrifice will be involved. We can respond by striving to control everything, affixing the pieces, taking the rules and enforcing them like superglue on Lincoln Logs.
But that can only go so far.
Rules don’t free criminals. They jail them. Standards don’t uplift the poor. They marginalize them. Judges don’t acquit sinners. They condemn them. If you’re like me, guilty, poor, and sinful, none of these offer any hope to hold on to. But for God SO LOVED the world, that He made a way for us to live in relationship with Him. There’s hope because through His Son, we have a way to trust, to love, to communicate with our Father and receive forgiveness, that we may learn to believe with others, love unconditionally, share our lives, and be ready to restore.
My dad used to tell my brothers and I that at the end of our lives, nothing will matter more than the relationships we cultivated. Not our achievements, not our businesses, not our critics, nor the things we accumulated, but the lives we shared. Most important is our relationship with God. Not only a religious or intellectual understanding of a heavenly being, but a God we can spend time with. He wanted us to catch this so that we would not lose sight of what really counts in life.
I no longer live in the safety and security of life under my parents’ roof, and every day I wake up to the challenges that come with being human. I’m sure you all can relate. For some of us the situation is financial, maybe there are bills to pay or dreams to afford. For some, it’s emotional, maybe a broken heart, loneliness, or rejection. For others, it may have something to do with health, maybe a sickness or an injury. For some it’s depression, or an accusation, or the pressure to succeed. It could be million things and it’s different for everyone. But whatever it is, whatever the pieces of your life that are falling apart, we have a Father we can run to, and He’ll take you in His hands, He’ll heal you, and build you back up, and in His joy, walk with you in loving relationship.
Fall Afresh
Awaken my soul, come awake
To hunger, to seek, to thirst
Awaken first love, come awake
And do as you did, at first
Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow
Awaken my soul, come awake
To worship with all your strength
Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
Come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit come and fill this place
Let Your glory now invade
Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me
Come wake me from my sleep
Blow through the caverns of my soul, pour in me to overflow
To overflow
Back to Basics Sales & Marketing: Issho Genki Squalene Part 1
Have you ever tried forgetting something? You can’t. You cannot forget anything on purpose. The best you can do is to fill your head with other things so that the thing you want to forget naturally loses its significance. This also means that when people don’t remember our products or services, which we call our value propositions, it’s our responsibility to make an impact on our customers.
I experienced this first hand with my company Issho Genki, which produces and distributes the food supplement Squalene. I’ll be using examples from Issho Genki and the other companies and organizations I’ve been involved with to help make the lessons more concrete.Issho Genki used to be quite a successful company selling thousands of boxes of Squalene a month in the mid 1990s, but when it failed to make a successful transition from multilevel marketing to retail, it saw it sales drop drastically. What happened? Mismanagement is the overarching reason, the managers weren’t able to adapt. But let’s look closely at the sales and marketing factors to see what caused the drop in boxes sold.
Courage to Continue
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
- Winston Churchill
I Think About You
When I think about goodness
When I think about mercy
I think about You
When I think about power
When I think about grace
I think about You
I think about You
When the storms start to rage
I think about You
When the sun shines on my face
I think about You
Through dark and lonely evenings
I think about You
Because Your love fills this place
The Sin Of Omission
My mom read me this poem by Margaret Sangster to me as a young boy. I plan to teach it to my future family. It has helped me live with less regrets, though it hasn’t been foolproof. Knowing it has not meant I’ve done a good job at application.
The Sin of Omission
It isn’t the thing you do, dear;
It’s the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you a bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.
The tender word forgotten,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your haunting ghosts to-night.
The stone you might have lifted
Out of brother’s way,
The bit of heartsome counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of the hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time nor thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.
The little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind;
Those chances to be angels
Which every one may find
They come in night and silence
Each chill, reproachful wraith
When hope is faint and flagging
And a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great;
To suffer our great compassion
That tarries until too late;
And it’s not the thing you do, dear,
It’s the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bit of heartache
At the setting of the sun.
Remains of the Day
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
- 1 Corinthians 13:13 (now that’s a lucky verse!)
Gray
Color drains away to concrete
No more roses, just thorns
On a bed of barded wire
The sweet melody, replaced
With a lecture on reality
Things look the same
When in the gray
Predictable, unexciting
Comfortable, unchallenging
Secure, indifferent
Safe, dying
The Old Painter
If I had a new canvas
I’d paint something new
Not something so dark
Not something so blue
Not something so measured
But more of things treasured
And it won’t be for sale
Not for public display
I’ll hang it on a nail
A picture of children at play
Drops In A Bucket
I received this question on formspring: Are you aware of the KONY 2012 movement?
A simple question that has led to a long answer. Haha! Here it is:
Yes. I saw the video and read a little about Kony the person. It’s a good sign. I think more people should get involved in social advocacies and serving others BUT I think this should be done responsively and strategically, not just emotionally and impulsively. What the Kony Movement shows is that people DO want to get involved in something bigger than themselves that helps others.
This is a good thing.
It’s a good thing we can practice every day of our lives by showing radical kindness to others, starting with our own families, friends, employees, and neighbors, and serving one another. If “likes”, Facebook and Twitter shares, and a moving video can create so much support for addressing an issue in a region of a continent most of us have never been to, how much larger will the impact be when actions of love are exhibited by us daily in our own homes and communities. It’s easy to “like” and share a video. It’s hard to go to Smokey Mountain or Payatas and tangibly show love to these people daily. It’s even harder to forgive and serve our own families daily. It’s easier to say “I am against armies of children” than it is to say “Yes dad, yes mom, I’ll serve.” I’ve seen this in my own life very often. I’ll excitedly go to a community to help build homes but be hassled and complain about having to pick up my parents at the airport.
“Um… David, children killing each other with guns is way more serious than giving your parents a ride.”
You’re right. But what’s more serious an army of children or the child trafficking in our own country? I actually don’t know. Emotionally, I’ll say child trafficking is more serious but to the people in Central Africa, the fighting there is more serious. The point is, we really can’t tell what’s more serious.
But this we know: At the heart of society’s issues is our personal selfishness. It’s the attitude that “I” am more important than others. That my feelings, thoughts, methods, interests, and needs are more important than those of others. If you read more about Kony and the LRA (his army), you’ll find that he actually thinks he’s doing the right thing and that they are a very religious group. They are so convinced in the superiority of their beliefs that they act superiorly over others – which includes killing others.
If we really want to serve society, we need to show the same passion and unity in facing the selfishness in our hearts, and we do that by putting those around us first, whether that means willing to skip massive economic gain to be a good father, or giving up “me time” for “you time” again and again, building someone’s home, buying someone groceries, babysitting for free, serving in church, serving at home, being inconvenienced by picking up the garbage of others, forgiving one another, saying sorry to one another, in short loving one another.
This is difficult. I have failed at this in every single day of my life so far. But I personally can feel an improvement, which, for me, happens when I am made aware of three things:
1. My own personal spiritual and moral poverty
2. God’s overwhelming love for me despite my poverty
3. That there is an overflow of love for me to share
I hope you don’t feel that I sent you a flood when you asked such a simple question. As I thought about your question, I realized there’s a deeper principle we can explore.
By the way I “liked” the video. It’s a drop in an amazingly huge bucket. Let’s start pouring the drops of our lives in the buckets of our own homes and the lives of the people we say we love.
Mystery
Why?
Why do You do things
the way that You do?
Why take me, broken as I am
to make me all brand new?
I don’t know…
I don’t know why
You would die
for me…
It’s a mystery
Why?
Why do You love those who hurt You
and make their dreams come true?
Why do you stay forever faithful
despite all the things I do?
I don’t know…
I don’t know why
You would die
for me…
It’s a mystery
My heart can’t contain
A love so high and wide
My mind cannot grasp
Your amazing grace
It’s all too grand for me
I’m too small to understand
So I bow in humble thanks
To the wonders of Your mystery
Love Through Attentiveness
I wrote this maybe 2 or 3 years ago. I wrote it while going through another of the seemingly never-ending challenges that come with running a business. There was probably not a day when I didn’t question whether I was in the right business. There was not a day when I didn’t question whether I was doing the right thing. I doubted my ideas. I doubted my decisions. I doubted myself. But I picked-up on a word while reading this nugget of wisdom:
Lazy hands make a man poor, but the hands of the diligent bring wealth. – Proverbs 10:4
That word was DILIGENCE.
No business, in fact no talent, no opportunity, no relationship, no artwork, or effort, nothing, can succeed to great heights without diligence. Diligence is “Persistent and hard-working effort in doing something” and to be diligent means to be someone “Showing persistent and hard-working effort in doing something”.
Today we understand the word diligence to mean hard work, but when you trace the etymology of the word diligence we hit the words diligentia and diligentem, which connotes attentiveness and carefulness, and another word “diligere” which means to value highly or to love.
Here we find an incredible definition for the word diligence: Love through attentiveness.
Come to Me
I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know
I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything
I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything
Don’t look to the right or to the left, keep your eyes on me
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved
Ohhhh
I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way
Heyyyy
Just come to me, come to me
Cause I’m all that you need
Little Of Me
Let only that little be left of me
whereby I may name thee my all.
Let only that little be left of my will
whereby I may feel thee on every side,
and come to thee in everything,
and offer to thee my love every moment.
Let only that little be left of me
whereby I may never hide thee.
Let only that little of my fetters be left
whereby I am bound with thy will,
and thy purpose is carried out in my life—and that is the fetter of thy love.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Everlasting God
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord We will wait upon the Lord
Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary
Our God, You reign forever Our hope, our Strong Deliverer You are the everlasting God The everlasting God You do not faint You won’t grow weary
You’re the defender of the weak You comfort those in need You lift us up on wings like eagles
Start From Where You Are. Start With What You Have.
People have a lot of different excuses for why they can’t do something. For some, the reason is financial. “I don’t have the capital” or “I have a family to support” or “I can’t afford it right now” are some of the statements people in this category say.
For others, the reason is the risk and difficulty. “What if it doesn’t work?” or “It’s too hard” or “This requires too much of me” are their statements.
And others, it’s complacency. “Why rock the boat?” or “Why keep pushing to get better? Aren’t we ok already?” or “I’m too tired” are the given arguments.
I’m sure there are other reasons. There is a perfect excuse for everything we don’t want to do. You can read more about what I have to say on excuses on my article.
But for those of you who don’t want to live in a world of excuses, here are two simple thoughts to help you get started:
1. Start from where you are
2. Start with what you have
Read full article.
Just Because
Just because someone’s young doesn’t mean it’s too early
Just because someone’s old doesn’t mean it’s too late
Just because someone’s small doesn’t mean he has no strength
Just because someone’s big doesn’t mean he has no weakness
Just because someone’s smart doesn’t mean he’s always right
Just because someone’s dumb doesn’t mean he’s never wise
Just because someone thinks so doesn’t mean others have to agree
Just because someone disagrees doesn’t mean they’re evil
Just because someone said so doesn’t mean it’s fact
Just because someone posted it doesn’t mean it makes sense
Just because everyone retweets it doesn’t mean it’s true
Just because it sounds good doesn’t mean you should listen
Just because it tastes good doesn’t mean you should eat it
Just because no one supports you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try
Just because no one’s done it doesn’t mean you can’t be the first
Just because you’ve never won doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fight
Just because it’s dark around you doesn’t mean you can’t shine bright
Love First
There is the great lesson of ‘Beauty and the Beast,’ that a thing must be loved before it is lovable.
Every Other Way
Verse 1:
Is it strained, when I call you
Or do you think, that I might forget
Oh your love, is radiating
The farther away
I go
I go
Verse 2:
Do you count, on me now
And do you wait, up for me all night
I wish I could run, to you when you need me
You know I can’t be far
For long
For long
Chorus :
Heart don’t fail me now
Cause there is no time to waste
Don’t shut me out, we shouldn’t wait another day
I’ve searched for you, on my hearts high speed chase
Hear me out, may be the only chance to say
Hold me now
I’ve said it Every Other Way
Bridge :
These tears I’ve cried
More moments gone to waste
I’ve searched for you
I’ve said it Every Other Way
Chorus :
Heart don’t fail me now
Cause there is no time to waste
Don’t shut me out, we shouldn’t wait another day
I’ve searched for you, on my hearts high speed chase
Hear me out, may be the only chance to say
Hold me now
I’ve said it Every Other Way
Justifying Faith
The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time.
This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth. It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you. But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin. ― Timothy Keller
Find What Works
I had a breakfast meeting with an older gentleman yesterday, and as it is when spending time with people who know more than you, I walked away with more than a few nuggets of wisdom. One of the things we talked about was how simple living actually makes for healthier living. We talked about how different the world has become. These days we have so many options that it has become hard, even stressful, to choose. Worse, we jump from option to option, fad to fad, diet to diet, breakthrough workout to breakthrough workout, supplement to supplement, sport to sport, and sometimes, gym to gym. The main problem here is that we don’t stick to anything long enough to get really excellent results.
Don’t get me wrong. I love doing a lot of things. I play quite a few different sports, paint, play the piano, write, have a few businesses, teach a business workshop and have since taken up programming among other things. But I’ve arranged them all in an orderly sequence of daily events and alter as necessary. As much as possible I stick to a predetermined schedule set way ahead and plan around anchor activities. With all my different activities, a relatively rigid schedule allows me to enjoy my different interests and spend enough time on them to grow. As for health, I try keep my diet simple, use natural products when I can, take at least 6 capsules of squalene everyday, oil-pull with virgin coconut oil, run regularly, and workout at home. I don’t spend a lot and I feel good. Two other things that are very very integral to me are deliberate gratefulness and earnest prayer. I try my best to live right but, to be very honest, I know how incapable I am because of my many physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual weaknesses. I’m glad to have found a Father who is more than able to make up for what I lack.
This is what works for me.
While it may work for others, it may not work for a lot of people. We all have different needs, interests and contexts. You need to find what system works for you. But just to be clear, you still need a system, a disciplined way of operating in the different areas of your life. Why? Because without ordering ourselves, our lives will naturally slip into disorder.
I thought your promote Natural Health+?
Yes, it is. We promote natural AND health. But what has become natural to us, the fastfood, stressful work, pollution in the environment and media, were never intended for us. That’s why they make us unhealthy. Food was meant to be enjoyed. Work was meant to be fulfilling. The environment was meant to be sustain us. And media, which are simply ways of storing and transmitting information, was meant to document our development and pass on a legacy of knowledge and wisdom. Our lives have become very un-natural. That is why shifting to a simple life is so difficult.
So find what works for you. By that, I don’t mean do whatever you want. What I mean is, find that consistent, disciplined, and effective system by which you can achieve your purpose, enjoy life, and stay healthy. And when you do, COMMIT.
Two Wolves
A Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred. “Which wolf will win, grandfather?” asks the young boy. “Whichever one I feed”, is the reply.
- Native American Proverb
Commitments & Choices
Success doesn’t come easy. It comes with sacrifice, hard work, lesson after painful and embarrassing lesson, and it comes with perseverance and faith. Earlier, we discussed commitments and choices in our Issho Genki staff meeting. Commitment is a scary word for me, simply because responsibility is always attached to it. Everyone has different commitments and everyone is free to choose as they please provided that it is within confines of the law. But just because we’re free to make our decisions, doesn’t mean that all our decisions will lead to profitable conclusions. So whatever your you select here are some reminders:
1. Commit Wholeheartedly to that which you choose – commitment means you’re responsible to see things through.
- Commit to your vision, to that picture of something greater.
- Commit to your values, the things that are most important to you.
- Commit to your goals, to the “win” targets you’re aiming for.
2.Choose Daily to forward your commitments.
- Choose daily to picture your success. Remind yourself of your vision every day.
- Choose to embrace what’s important. This includes not holding on to non-essentials.
- Choose to win daily in every task. Be excellent in everything, including small and redundant tasks. Understand that success is incremental and our efforts compounding.
What you choose to pursue is up to you. Don’t let someone else make that decision for you. Seek God and seek counsel, but you make the choice. Whatever you do select, commit to it and choose daily to take the steps that bring your closer to what you value.
Blessings Realized
“A single grateful heart can withstand a thousand trials.”
“Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,
and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.”
- From A Moments Indulgence by Rabindranath Tagore
“And the river bank talks of the waters of March
It’s the promise of life, it’s the joy in your heart”
- Waters of March by Antonio Carlos Jobim
Today was beautiful. Come to think of it, every day can be depending on what we choose to highlight. I think for the most part I’ve been able to emulate my mom’s uncanny ability to see beautiful things in anything and everything, but I have to admit that it clashes head on with my critical harshness. It’s just another example of how the pride in my life is very capable of depriving me of beautiful blessings just waiting to be appreciated.
My parents taught my brothers and I, that if you want to correct an attitude, you have to operate in the opposite spirit. So if you want to correct greed, be generous. If you want to correct being mean, show kindness. If you’re grumbling and ungrateful, list down your blessings. If you feel lonely, comfort someone. If you’re scared, be a source of courage. It’s similar to what I was saying in the post Propositions. In other words, do what’s uncomfortably right. This isn’t easy at all. Like anyone, it’s more natural to me to defend my greed, grumbling, fear, and self-pity, than it is to be humble and subordinate my feelings. Being humble is not natural to me. Not even a little. Not at all actually.
I have a long way to go…
Anyway, today, I took time out to do nothing but sit still and pray, and when I couldn’t do that, because sitting still is very very difficult for me when I’m not working on something, I decided to go for a walk and continue praying. I can’t begin to tell you how important Jesus is to me, not because I’m this holy guy, nothing can be further from reality, but because my poverty is too deep not to realize. But as I walked through the relatively empty streets of Fort Bonifacio, I remembered the song Waters of March by Antonio Carlos Jobim.
A stick.
A stone.
It’s the end of the road.
You might know the song. It’s very famous. But not a lot know that the inspiration behind the song, the actual “waters” of March, are the storms and heavy rains that fall on Rio de Janiero, in March, that cause serious flooding throughout the city. It’s another example of the power perspective and highlighting. Here’s a song about storms, but what we remember, what is highlighted is “the promise of life” and “the joy in your heart”.
How many unrealized blessings have gone wasted in my blindness?
How many waiting fortunes missed?
How many daily gifts stay unopened, because it didn’t come wrapped as expected?
How much has my pride, and fear, and hurt deprived me?
How little has my faith unlocked?
Probably a lot. I’m just grateful that I realized my blessings today, even more, I’m grateful that there’s tomorrow, because His mercies are new every morning. A single grateful heart can withstand a thousand trials.
Meditation
Hear my soul, that restless storm
Feel my heart, that beating drum
Oh that Your Spirit would visit
My silent loneliness
Speak to my soul, that needy child
Touch my heart, that hardened man
Oh that You will reside
In my emptiness
Music 2012: Neopolitan Dreams
You’ll go and I’ll be okay,
I can dream the rest away
Its just a little touch of fate, it will be okay
It sure takes its precious time, but it’s got rights and so have I
I turn my head up to the sky
I focus one thought at a time
I do not let the little thieves under my tightly buttoned sleeves
You couldn’t be alone, the time I feel like I am walking blind
I have no where I’ll have time
There are no legible signs x2
I like the way that you talk,
I like the way that you walk.
It’s hard to recreate such an individual game
You wait you turn in the queue,
You say your sorries and thank you’s
I don’t think you’re ever
A hundred percent in the room
You’re not in the room x2
Deepest, of the dark nights
here lies, the highest of highs
Neopolitan Dreams, stretching out to the sea
You wait you turn in the queue,
You say your sorries and thank yous
I don’t think you’re ever
A hundred percent in the room
You’re not in the room
False Love / True Love
In false love your aim is to use the other person to fulfill your happiness. Your love is conditional: You give it only as long as the person is affirming you and meeting your needs. And it’s nonvulnerable: You hold back so that you can cut your losses if necessary.
But in true love, your aim is to spend yourself and use yourself for the happiness of the other, because your greatest joy is that person’s joy. Your love is unconditional: You give it regardless of whether your loved one is meeting your needs. And it’s radically vulnerable: You spend everything, hold nothing back, give it all away.
…nobody is actually capable of giving true love. We want it desperately but can’t give it…
… All our love is somewhat fake. How so? Because we need to be loved like we need air and water. We can’t live without love. That means there’s a certain mercenary quality to our relationships…
… What we need is someone to love us who doesn’t need us at all. Someone who loves us radically, unconditionally, and vulnerably. Someone who loves us just for our sake. If we received that kind of love, that would so assure us of our value, it would fill us up, that maybe we could start to give love like that too…
… Who can give love with no need? Jesus.
Music 2012: You Are More
There’s a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she’s wandered
And the shame she can’t hide
She says, “How did I get here?
I’m not who I once was.
And I’m crippled by the fear
That I’ve fallen too far to love”
But don’t you know who you are,
What’s been done for you?
Yeah don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
Well she tries to believe it
That she’s been given new life
But she can’t shake the feeling
That it’s not true tonight
She knows all the answers
And she’s rehearsed all the lines
And so she’ll try to do better
But then she’s too weak to try
But don’t you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
‘Cause this is not about what you’ve done,
But what’s been done for you.
This is not about where you’ve been,
But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you built,
But what He built to forgive you,
And what He built to make you know.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
You are more than the choices that you’ve made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
You’ve been remade.
Beautiful Work From Beautiful Hands
January is the birthday month of my mother, Marie. Mama was as hands on a mother as possible. I could not have asked for a better mom. She’s beautiful, and loving, and caring, and immensely thoughtful, she’s fun, and creative, and classy, and protective, though a little too protective when it came to my dates, but that’s how moms are I guess – no one’s good enough for her baby.
The Brothers Bonifacio would not be around without her. I mean, she and my dad (who always talks about how lucky he is to have a wife that is always praying for him) literally made us. But more than that she raised us, and though I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for her, she has very graciously released us to the discoveries and dangers, liabilities and lessons, and the tumbles and triumphs of life.
Here are some paintings from my mom’s latest series. It’s more proof that from beautiful hands will come beautiful work, because they’re guided by a beautiful soul.
Propositions
Here’s another long one. Happy New Year! May you all have a blessed 2012.
The unthankful heart… discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! – Henry Ward Beecher
“For each new morning with its light,For rest and shelter of the night,For health and food, for love and friends,For everything Thy goodness sends.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sailing Into the New Year
The night was bright with fireworks sparkling like twinkling stars. The build up towards the New Year had begun. Standing on the helipad atop 50+ stories of the Pacific Plaza South Tower, I could see a 360° view of Manila’s celebrations. Everywhere I looked, the excitement for something new, maybe a new start, maybe a new phase, maybe a new promise was evident.
I was excited too. I still am.
Up on the helipad was an older Australian woman who asked, “Who of you was born on the year of the rat?” I told her I was but didn’t know much about it. “This is going to be a great year for you!” I told her that I wasn’t superstitious, that my belief is that your year is either great or terrible depending on what you choose to highlight in your life and what you choose to remember. I choose to remind myself of my Father’s goodness.
It’s true.
The grateful will always feel blessed. They don’t have to try. The ungrateful or forgetful will always pity their situation. They, also, don’t have to try. Just earlier I was feeling that self-pity coming over me and I decided to stop, to pray and list down the many many things I’m grateful for. That’s the only way to win that fight: to remember and be grateful to God, for every big and small thing, even the painful things, and to never take anything for granted. Taking something for granted is like when we have something really special or important but we fail to notice it, or worse don’t treat it as special. In relationships, taking people for granted is not appreciating what they are there for, or have to offer, or can do, thinking they will always be around.
They won’t.
Relationships are not fixed points. We are like boats on the sea, either sailing together on the same direction or drifting apart.
Life Offering
A proposition is something brought forth. It is an offering. Every day we have the privilege to bring forth our lives and bring our Creator glory by offering the best of our lives. I said it was a privilege because it is. To be alive is a privilege, and the only thing necessary to enjoy this privilege is to realize just how valuable your life is, and that there are people, whether you or they realize, needing and waiting for your life’s value proposition.
Our Life’s Value Proposition is something about our life that helps meet the needs of others, especially the needs of those we’ve chosen to love. And love is a choice. When we choose to love someone, we choose to offer to him or her the best of us.
Where do we start? We start where we already are.
Are you intelligent? Then enlighten our darkened minds.
Can you sing? Then soothe our restless soul.
Can you paint or sculpt or perform? Then inspire us with the message of your work.
Are you a father or a mother? Then introduce to the world a new generation of selfless stewards.
Are you a son, a daughter, or a lover? Then never stop showing your appreciation.
Are you rich? Then deal generously with us.
Are you lonely? Then welcome the isolated among us.
Are you a leader? Then show us the way through service.
Are you mature? Then be patient with us.
Do you eat too much? Then start feeding us.
Are you lonely? Then welcome the isolated among us.
Are you strong? Then protect us.
Do you like to cry? Then start crying for our dying.
Are you poor? Then show us how to endure in hope.
Are you sensitive? Then show us kindness.
Are you impatient? Then be impatient with corruption.
Are you hurting? Then empathize with our pain.
Are you dying? Then remind us, the living, to embrace life.
Whoever you are, wherever you’re coming from, you’re in a position to start offering your Life’s Value Proposition. Look past yourself. Look up at your Father with gratefulness, He has blessed you so. Look out to the world with purpose; you have a role only you can fill. Your life’s offering is unique because there’s no one like you. If you don’t offer the best of you, then people won’t enjoy the best, or worse, they’ll suffer your worst.
Bon Voyage
Last year, I literally sailed into the New Year. I’m not on a boat this time but the wind is blowing me in a new direction, and as it does I write this to encourage us that 2012 will be our best year yet, as we not only achieve our own dreams, but through the propositions of our lives we will help others achieve theirs.
Wherever you’re sailing to, whether shaken in a storm or enjoying auspicious skies, I wish you a good journey. Don’t quit when it’s hard. Don’t settle when it’s easy. Don’t take the still calm for granted nor curse the storm. Be grateful that you’re here and always remember: “you can never go wrong with the priceless things. They’ll always be a steal.”
Postcard
Keep growing but not in girth
Keep fighting but not with me
Keep remembering but forget my faults
Keep smiling – my way
Keep laughing like a child
Keep praying for miracles
Keep loving like the first time
and don’t you ever ever ever let go
Music 2012: A Real Hero
Here’s a nice song to start 2012.
Real human being
And a real hero
Back against the wall and odds
With the strength of a will and a cause
Your pursuits are called outstanding
You’re emotionally complex
Against the grain of dystopic claims
Not the thoughts your actions entertain
And you have proved to be
A real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being
A pilot on a cold, cold morn’
One-hundred fifty-five people on board
All safe and all rescued
From the slowly sinking ship
Water warmer than, his head so cool
In that tight bind knew what to do
And you have proved to be
A real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being and a real hero
Real human being
Real human being
Real human being
A Moments Indulgence
I ask for a moment’s indulgence to sit by thy side. The works
that I have in hand I will finish afterwards.
Away from the sight of thy face my heart knows no rest nor respite,
and my work becomes an endless toil in a shoreless sea of toil.
Today the summer has come at my window with its sighs and murmurs; and
the bees are plying their minstrelsy at the court of the flowering grove.
Now it is time to sit quite, face to face with thee, and to sing
dedication of life in this silent and overflowing leisure.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Closed Path
I thought that my voyage had come to its end
at the last limit of my power,—that the path before me was closed,
that provisions were exhausted
and the time come to take shelter in a silent obscurity.
But I find that thy will knows no end in me.
And when old words die out on the tongue,
new melodies break forth from the heart;
and where the old tracks are lost,
new country is revealed with its wonders.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Your Assurance
If you’re alive to make money, to be famous or be comfortable, you may or may not succeed. You may strike oil or you may hit dirt. You may win praise or gather shame. Your fulfillment, your return, is based on how much you have earned or garnered or collected. But if you’re alive to build value for others, you can be reassured that in your quest, though you’re victorious or fail, through perseverance, humility, and courage, you will inevitably build value for yourself. And someday, you can be sure, these valuable experiences, lessons and growth will serve you well as you continually undertake this most noble of purposes: to glorify your Father by truly, concretely, greatly loving others.
I Must
I must make company with myself and find strength within. There is no help on the horizon, so to the hills I must gaze. Man forgets man, yet I must remember. I must give when I lack. I must serve when I need a hand. I must shine a light when I am lost. I must sing a song of thanks in sadness. I must hope when there’s none. I must care though others don’t, and go further than most will. I must remind myself that He will come though my soul won’t stay still.
Psalm 23
A Psalm of David
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for His name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Passing the Other Side
I was reading on the Good Samaritan, and as I read other versions, I came across this paragraph on Wikipedia:
Priests and Levites
In Jesus’ culture, contact with a dead body was understood to defile one. Priests were particularly enjoined to avoid uncleanness. The priest and Levite may therefore have assumed that the fallen traveler was dead and avoided him to keep themselves ritually clean. On the other hand, the depiction of travel downhill (from Jerusalem to Jericho) may indicate that their temple duties had already been completed, making this explanation less likely, although this is disputed. Since the Mishnah made an exception for neglected corpses, the priest and the Levite could have used the law to justify both touching a corpse and ignoring it. In any case, passing by on the other side avoided checking “whether he was dead or alive.” Indeed, “it weighed more with them that he might be dead and defiling to the touch of those whose business was with holy things than that he might be alive and in need of care.”
That last sentence keeps ringing in my mind.
“It weighed more with them…”
It weighed more to stay ritually clean. It weighed more to stay culturally right – which wasn’t a bad culture, they were priests and Levites. It weighed more that they stayed safe. It weighed more that they weren’t inconvenienced or threatened. All of these, the rituals, rules, roles, hassle and danger, weighed more than the person.
May I be like the unsafe, unclean, and culturally-rejected Samaritan that pleases my Lord.
Security
The flower which is single need not envy the thorns that are numerous.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Whenever
Whenever I’m lonely
I think about the days
When I was all alone
With just the promise of Your face
Whenever I’m empty
I remind myself to praise
Then You still my heart
And fill me with Your grace
All Your promises are true
All my hopes are found in You
For You are perfect love
And You cast out all fear
Let me see Your light in the heat of the sun
Let me see Your blessing in the storm
Let me see Your power in the shaking
Let me see Your hand transform
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law
Aren’t Teachers More Valuable Than Entertainers?
I was reminded of this image from Korn’s album Follow the Leader when writing this post.
Last September 20, 2011, I had the privilege of addressing the students of UST’s College of Commerce and Business Administration on their 78th anniversary. It was definitely an honor to share with them my humble thoughts on value and living a life of value. I’ll be the first to admit that I am immensely incomplete in my experience and knowledge, and that none of my thoughts are original. They are all bricks upon the bricks that others have built on foundation others have laid. All I am is a curious and grateful soul, and it is from this attitude that I share my thoughts.
The title of my talk was These 3 Remain, taking from the very popular chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians that refers to Faith, Hope, and Love. I won’t be expounding on my talk on this post but you may view the slides here.
What I would like to talk about is one of the questions thrown at me from what had turned out to be an hour long question and answer portion at the end. I again have to my limitation, as I was very tired from only about two hours of sleep, and the questions from the students and teachers really made me think. It was a like an intellectual firing squad, but that’s the way an open forum is supposed to be. But within this exchange was this question, and I’m paraphrasing here:
That whole values talk is nice to hear and inspiring, but if people naturally are attracted to things of value, how do you explain why entertainers make more money than teachers? Aren’t teachers more valuable than entertainers?
My thoughts to follow. What are your thoughts?
Business Dashboard: Day 2 Schedule
Day 2 (November 22, 2011) is all about Customer Segments and how this portion relates with Day 1′s topic on Value Proposition. These two components are deeply connected because you can’t meet a need or desire without knowing who those needs and/or desires belong to.
6:00 – 6:15 – Introduction
6:15 – 6:30 – Business Dashboard Elements Reviewed
6:30 – 7:00 – Customer Segments
- For whom are we creating value for?
- Who are our most important customers?
- Types of customer segments?
7:00 – 8:00 – Relationship Between Customer Segments and Value Proposition
- Innovation in Customer Segments
- The Profitable Customer
- The Loyal Customer
8:00 – 8:30 – Business Case Study
8:30 – 9:00 – Q&A
Business Dashboard: Day 1 Schedule
Developing a business plan can be messy which is one reason why I prefer dashboards. For those of you who have signed-up for my upcoming Business Dashboard Workshop here’s the agenda for Day 1 (November 15, 2011).
6:00 – 6:15 – Introduction
6:15 – 6:30 – The importance of having a Business Dashboard: Create, Deliver and Capture Value
6:30 – 7:00 – Elements of a Business Dashboard Explained
7:00 – 7:30 – Value Proposition & Customer Segments Overview
7:30 – 8:00 – Value Proposition: Meeting Needs & Desires / Competitive Advantage & Hedgehog Principle / Innovate to Differentiate
8:00 – 8:30 – Business Case Study
8:30 – 9:00 – Q&A
(More on Customer Segments on Day 2)
I’m sorry if I’m trying to pack in so much information. I really want this workshop to be something that will really impact your business. These are things I practice in my own businesses and teach my staff. They’re simple and practical, which work best for me since I don’t like to complicate things.
Looking forward to working with you to develop your dashboards and discuss your businesses with you. If you’d like to know more about what I’ll be teaching, please watch the following video:
Psalm 121:1-8
A song of ascents.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Painting
Painting is part technique, part experiment, part vision, and the constant reminding that the picture in your head will become a reality.
Waiting On A Dream
I’m waiting on a dream, though now all it seems was a mirage, a moment of make believe, a lie.
2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
Awakening
The twilight moments may be redeemed by the dawn.
Morning comes for all though only some awaken.
Most rest contentedly in safe ignorance -
safe only until the dams of naivete break -
and take away with the rushing flow that reality rudely arrives with.
Lonely Thoughts
Lonely Thoughts
20″ x 30″ Acrylic on Canvas
Ghosts form my cage
Of thought
Of regret
Of memory
No second chances for the wise
Knowledge is that one try
No second chances for the brave
Strength is that one shot
A bang, a bang
A miss, a miss
My empty cartridge
Left to dismiss
A Pottery Lesson
A few months ago, I attended Mia’s exhibit. She, along with other potters, was displaying her latest work. I remember seeing the variety and, being the curious cat that I am, started asking the artists the whats, whys, and hows of their work. After listening to them, I started being able to recognize the specific nuances of each artist. They didn’t have to try to show that a certain piece was theirs – you just had to look at it and you would know that it was from the same set of hands and the same soul.
Coming home from that exhibit and remembering the conversations with Mia, I thought about the creation story in Genesis. I remember first hearing the story of man’s creation as a child, and I remember imagining God’s hands reaching down into the ground, scooping up some dirt, and expertly forming man in His image. I would imagine God look into a mirror then at His creation and make the necessary adjustments.
Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. – Genesis 2:7
Of course God probably never had to look at a mirror. He’s God after all. But the point of the story is clear: He wanted us to be just like Him.
I guess the reason He wants us to be like Him is because the Bible says that He is love and to be like Him is to love, and God wanted someone to be in love with. I’m not a theologian or a Bible expert. I’m actually not very good at doing many of the things it says. I’m learning though, admittedly very slowly, because I’m learning to love. And somehow I feel that He’s taking my dirt and forming art with the same loving hands and the same loving soul.
Mia Casal: Art from Dirt
Please don’t take this as an endorsement. This is simply a showcase of friends and their professions. Full Disclaimer here.
My friend, Mia Casal, is a potter. I want to talk more about the process by which we came about her Value Proposition since it may give you ideas on how to work on yours. I like patronizing the work of people who really love their craft. You just know they’re going to keep working on it and keep getting better. I have since scheduled a pottery class as our team building activity for Issho Genki and ordered a special tea set for 10. Why 10? For my folks, my brothers and their partners, and me and my future partner.
Think ahead. Always think ahead.
Anyway…
I first met Mia with a group of friends from New York but our interaction really started when I told her I’d help her organize herself into a business. Now a business doesn’t have to be formal or big right away. It can start small. But it has to be deliberately managed and grown to meet the goals set. I find many people wanting to start a business without even knowing WHY they want to, and usually, the answer is: money. Money isn’t a bad thing in itself but it is an empty goal. Financial freedom and independence are better goals, and to deliver value to others in your chosen field is even better.
Isn’t that the same thing?
No.
Doing business to make more money means that the more money you make the better no matter what it costs. Doing business to be financially free means the more freedom you enjoy the better, of course that means making more money, but it also means learning contentment and being grateful. It’s a small difference in outlook that produces a totally different lifestyle. Delivering value means that the priority is to offer something that really meets the needs and/or desires of people and working on getting people to appreciate that.
From my conversations with Mia, I realized that she’s really an artist, which includes all the crazy ideas artists have. She’s definitely crazy about her craft, which is a good sign. I like working with people who are nuts. It just shows you they’re in love. Have you seen anyone in love who wasn’t nuts?
The challenge many artists have, especially the purists, is how to make money on what they do. They know they need the money, but the last thing they want to do is to peddle.
But arts and crafts can make money for the artist. Remember that money is simply a container of value that can be exchanged for other things of value. Art, when done well and presented appropriately, is actually a container of value itself that people may be willing to trade money for.
So Mia and I had to work on refining her value proposition in a way that would convey the value of her pottery.
Here are a few things that came out from the exercise:
1. Her pieces are special and handcrafted – not mass-produced, so all her pieces, even the ones from the same set, are never completely alike because they’re handcrafted.
2. Her materials, time, and labor costs are high since the pieces are individually made.
3. Part of sharing her love for pottery was not just about selling pieces but also introducing people to the activity of pottery itself by teaching.
It’s very important when conceptualizing your value proposition that you factor in who you or your organization is. By this I mean factoring your passions, your capabilities, your limitations, and your goals. Many times we unrealistically conceptualize what we want without taking into account how we are going to bring about. It’s important to think this through as you work on your value proposition, and see how you can achieve your goals. If your goal is to make something of quality don’t sell-out to make money initially. If you must make a small compromise to survive, limit it to a minimum, but beware you may have a difficult time reversing the effects of this.
Your target market or customer segments should also be taken into consideration. Because of who Mia is, because of her passions, capabilities, limitations, and goals, the direction of her value proposition is really towards that of an artist, and more and more, that of a teacher. Value propositions are customer segment specific, not everyone will like what you have to offer. (Case in point: my hair.) But by knowing who exactly you’re offering your value proposition to you are able to refine the communication, the delivery, and the actual proposition.
Is Mia’s path the most economically feasible? Only time will tell. But at the very least it achieves some of her goals, which is to create wonderful works of art from dirt and share her love of pottery. We won’t be able to achieve all our goals right away. And like I said earlier, money is ultimately an empty goal. It’s important, but empty on its own.
Success is not instant; it’s not a straight line, or a sure thing. It’s the product of a different process for everyone. I guess it’s like pottery that way; there are principles and techniques but not two pieces are ever the same.
Unless of course you’re mass-produced. But those are cheap.
If you’d like to know more about Value Propositions and my Business Dashboard class please email Jenny Yrasuegui at jenyrasuegui@gmail.com.
Thursday Fast: Prayer for Strength
Please come to me now. I miss our time, the way it was when I was a child.
Please speak to me now. I seek Your voice, to guide me once again.
I know there’s a place for me in Your heart.
I know that my purpose is safe in your plan.
Help me once again to stand
Help me once again to fight
Help me with Your presence Lord
Help me with Your might
Business Dashboard
I remember my first day at the Issho Genki office, I was 23 years old, excited, scared, and clueless. Of course clueless sometimes helps. When you’re clueless you don’t realize that taking over a company mired in debt with very little cash is career suicide. Or was it? Sure it was difficult, sure it was stressful, and sure it took time but it wasn’t suicide after all. It was more like a rebirth.
I’m convinced that, just like my business, many businesses need some sort of rebirthing or restructuring or remodelling or even a re-imagining. It probably is nothing drastic, sometimes it’s just one tweak that leads to incredible returns. Whether it’s a tiny adjustment or an overhaul we need an instrument that will help us effectively monitor, evaluate, and adjust our businesses depending on the situation.
This is where a dashboard comes in. A dashboard, just like the one we find in cars, is a tool that helps us monitor and regulate how we drive, in this case, how we drive our businesses. Here are some thoughts on dashboards:
A dashboard doesn’t have to be complex, in fact, it shouldn’t be. It should just contain the essentials. You can always go deeper if you want to but at the very least the basics are covered.
A dashboard’s elements should be easily identifiable and easy to recognize. The whole point of having a dashboard is to monitor and adjust. Many times when our metrics are too complicated we get lost in them rather than use them.
A dashboard should be visual. There’s just something about being able to see things. Our businesses cannot remain in the abstract and conceptual it has to be executed at some point, so having a visual guide helps.
A dashboard is dynamic. This is what makes a dashboard different from a road map. A road map is set with fixed points. A dashboard is changing and adapting to the current situation.
A few years later since that scary first day at Issho Genki, after so many mistakes and miracles, I have started 2 more businesses (Natural Healh+ and SOLUSYO), and have helped coach others with their own careers, startups, and distressed businesses. It’s my small way of giving back the kindness my own mentors have shown me and helping others avoid the mistakes I made.
Since more and more people have been asking for it, we have decided to make it available as a class at the Modern Academy in Fort Bonifacio starting next month. We have limited slots and a few are reserved already so be sure to get a spot early.
Looking forward to discussing your business with you. If you’d like to reserve a slot or want more details please email Jenny Yrasuegui (pronounced “eerasuwegi”) at jenyrasuegui@gmail.com.
Hopes and Dreams
Dreams…
Visions greeting the night
Restless souls taking to flight
I find…
I’m in an endless sky
Feeling my bounds untie
Making my way
To someday
With you…
Hopes…
Wishes that do come true
Moments about to breakthrough
I know…
With every sad goodbye
Each day that passes by
I’m closing in
To begin
With you…
Digital Irony
Connected to friends and family,
Encouraged by shares and likes,
Wall lines with comments,
Page gathers fans,
Messages pile up,
As people respond
Yet I am surrounded
By loneliness
What Does Value Proposition Mean?
The motivation behind this section of my blog is to help people, in my own little way, with their careers and businesses by sharing the little that I know and the simple lessons I have learned from my humble experiences as a young businessman.
I don’t write this from the perspective of a financially successful person, I don’t have millions to show. Neither do I write this from the position of a knowledgeable academic, I have one degree and I can’t even remember most of the names of my teachers and classmates. I write this as a small businessman who fights the same battles many other ordinary people face daily. I know what it means to have almost no money for payroll. I know what it means to take no salary for what seems like forever. I know what it means to read finance and leadership books and realize you’re the total opposite of who you should be. And I share your hopes that someday our initiatives will breakthrough as we pray, believe, persevere, learn, and grow.
In the meantime, I pray, believe, persevere, learn, and grow – and share.
Someday, I’ll be dying, and ultimately dead, but on my death bed, I want to be able to look back, not at a perfect life, it’s way way way too late for that now, but at a life that valued my Father (that’s worship by the way: worth (value) – ship) and brought real value to the lives of others by helping them meet their legitimate needs and desires legitimately. (This is very different from being a needy leech or meeting people’s illegitimate wants.)
This purpose of meeting needs and fulfilling desires is at the core of the Value Proposition concept. A Value Proposition is simply a product or service you or your organization offers that meets the needs and/or desires of your target customer in a way that allows them to appreciate its worth.
Let’s break this definition down to fully grasp it. If you’d like actual examples from my companies just email me at davidmichaelbonifacio@gmail.com
A Product or a Service Offered
There has to be something that you or your organization brings to the table for an exchange to happen. Business, and really most if not all of life, is about exchanging value. So before there can be an exchange, there has to be things to exchange which are either products or services. For example, a worker exchanges the service of his labor for a financial product: money, which he can then exchange for another company’s product or service, or even the product or service of another person such as a baby-sitter. Even non-profits work this way, even if many times we don’t realize this. We donate or support a foundation by giving our time (service) or money (product) for either the fulfillment of a cause we believe in or to help us meet a social need (both are services).
That Meets a Need and/or Desire
Many times, especially with small businesspeople, we fall into the opportunity trap. We see a product, discover its financial potential, and allow this financial potential to be the paradigm of our endeavor. But everything looks good on paper and even the simplest plan is immensely much more difficult in execution. With the number of products and services out there, and the limited spending power of people, businesses more than ever have to really be honest with their offerings and go back to the basic question: What need or desire are we meeting? Are we even meeting a need or desire? Answering the need or desire question regularly and honestly helps put us on track to refining our Value Proposition.
Of a Target Customer
You can’t please everyone. You can’t even please your spouse or partner or kids or friends or whoever all the time, and they’re supposed to be on your side already. What more the full range of customers available? Instead, focus your offering on a target. What’s the right target? It’s different per case. Sometimes we find them accidentally. But here are some guide questions?
- Who needs my product or service most?
- Who wants my product or service most?
- Who can I serve the best?
- Who can pay for my product or service?
- Who is willing to pay for my product or service?
- Who do I want to offer my product or service to?
- Who can I realistically deliver my product or service to well?
Start with these questions and refine your customer segments as you go along.
In a Way that Allows Them to Appreciate Its Worth
This is critical, because this is where we think about our edge, our competitive advantage, our differentiator. You may think that your product or service is a winner but if people don’t buy then it just means they don’t appreciate the value you’re offering. And that could mean a lot of different weaknesses such as price, product, packaging, promotions, place, or even economic conditions or timing. So you have to look into all of these things. I enjoy sitting with people and working this part out with them because it’s a lot of fun and it’s nice to see people use their brain. I’m always amazed at just how creative and smart people can get when someone pushes them harder than they’re used to.
Place a lot of energy and effort into this part of your value proposition. Look around you and at the products and services you consume. What makes Evian different from Absolut? Why do they both sell? Who do they sell to? What about Coffee Bean and Starbucks? Aren’t they both coffee? How can their be so many soap brands? What will make me stand out in my office if everyone here says that they’re proficient with MS Office on their resume? You have to figure this out, and you have to be able to present it in a way people can appreciate. If not? They won’t buy.
Now some of you are probably already doing many of these things, some of you are probably doing them intuitively. The bottom lime is offer something of value.
If you’d like to know more about Value Propositions and my Business Dashboard class please email Jenny Yrasuegui at jenyrasuegui@gmail.com.
Your Holy Light
Your Holy Light shines on me
Revealing my sickness and hypocrisy
See my emptiness
See the cracks
See the weakness
See the lack
Your Holy Light shines on me
Revealing Your purpose and my path
I see the promise
I see the land
I see the blessing
I see Your hand
JB Dela Cruz: The Inspiring Magician
Please don’t take this as an endorsement. This is simply a showcase of friends and their professions. Full Disclaimer here.
I met JB through my dad a few years ago and he’s since become a good friend. I like people like JB, assertive, hard working, never-settling, admits when he makes mistakes, corrects them, and shows his love for God and for others through his actions. I especially like listening to his life story and his many experiences growing up and maturing.
Last year, he came to me and others, including one of my mentors and also from PLDT, Butch Jimenez, asking for career advice. He had a great job at PLDT, one the Philippines’ biggest and most profitable corporations, but he wanted to pursue his other passions, mainly his love for Magic – and he’s an incredible magician. He had already been doing shows on the side (including many free ones for foundations), but his bookings for corporate events was rising and taking more and more of his time.
In short, JB was facing what many would-be entrepreneurs face: the “should I risk this?” moment. It’s the moment when you have to choose between the safety of the status-quo and the risky possibility of something greater. I don’t always encourage people to leave their jobs, but I knew JB would do well. Here’s why:
1. He had a very clear value proposition: inspirational corporate magic.
2. He had experience in delivering this value proposition. He was already doing this on the side.
3. He’s a hard worker and willing to do what it takes, whatever that may be.
I especially like what my 36 year old friend told me, “My potential is God’s gift to me. What I do with my potential is my gift to Him.” So after 20 years of doing corporate work, JB decided to make magic his fulltime job, and corporate consulting his sideline. He took a leap of faith after counseling with people he trusted.
“I’m motivated by my goal to be who God wants me to be. He gave me this passion and I want to maximize it.”
It’s nearly a year now, and I don’t see JB as much. Every time I call him he has a show! I’m still waiting for him to treat me to some expensive dinner. I do see him, along with another entrepreneur I’ll be featuring here, Harvard Uy Debaron, at the monthly U! Happy Events, which Harvard founded. JB serves on the board. But I’m so happy that the shows are coming in. He even guests on TV now!
Someday, I know he’ll be famous, even more famous than he is now. And I’m glad it’s not because he poses nude or looks like a pretty boy. (Which I doubt anyone would pay him for anyway. Haha!) Seriously, I’m happy to see people recognized for bringing value to the lives of others, and JB brings that with his inspirational magic which he aptly calls: Inspire Magic.
“I want to inspire magic in the lives of people that they may inspire magic in the lives of others.”
I asked JB, “If you could only give 3 pieces of advice to a budding entrepreneur what would they be?
1. Know your dreams. Search your passions and decide on what you will pursue.
2. Know your personal assets and liabilities of your life currently. Know what you don’t have and grow with what you have.
3. Plan your steps well and JUST DO IT!
Visit his Facebook Page.
If you’d like to know more about Value Propositions and my Business Dashboard class please email Jenny Yrasuegui (pronounced “eerasuwegi”) at jenyrasuegui@gmail.com.
It’s About Whatever It Takes
I’m having a late dinner as I type this at my favorite Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, the one with the best view of Burgos Circle in Fort Bonifacio. I don’t know how many stories, or talks, or blog posts I’ve written while eating one of the three relatively cheap meals I rotate here.
Tonight, I have decided to write, finish, and post the last part of my 5-part series on relationships. This is the nth time I’m attempting to write this, and my laptop contains more than a few unfinished versions. In reality, each of the last 4 parts have been difficult for me to write. They’ve been hard because I’m talking about an area that is not exactly a strength of mine. I haven’t always valued people, I haven’t always chosen right, many times I get the wrong message across, and I do fall into minimum requirements and entitlements. So writing this, thinking through my position on relationships, has really been an exercise for myself more than it is a how-to guide for perfect relationships. So again here’s my disclaimer:
I am NOT an expert on this. Not even close. As I share this, I don’t share the thoughts of a wise man, but those of a simple person learning through prayer, observance, study, and mistake after mistake. It’s important to me that my readers don’t ever think I’m this super great guy or a role model. Life has enough pressure on it’s own, if my thoughts can help then great, but I don’t need nor want unrealistic expectations of this good guy that’s very far from who I really am. What I am, who I am, is a guy who wakes up early, works hard, makes mistakes, says sorry, fixes things, makes more mistakes, and more, and learns sometimes, but the whole way never giving up and always running to God over and over and over again because He never gives up on me.
And this is the best point to jump into Part 5: It’s About Whatever It Takes, because that’s God’s way with us. To some, He has met us in our youth, to others later in life. Sometimes He speaks to us through a book, sometimes we hear Him in a song, or find Him in a moment both dark and amazing, and even sometimes through someone else. But whoever we are, whatever way to reach us, whatever language we understand, or whatever circumstance He has to place us in, or people to surround us with, for as long as is needed, He, our Father, does whatever it takes to reach out to us to show us His love so that we can enjoy a relationship with Him.
In our relationships, are we doing whatever it takes?
Whatever it takes to what?
Are we doing whatever it takes to show them that they’re most valuable, that we chose them and choose them daily, that we’re excited about the unlimited possibilities, and that no matter what happens we’ll find a way, or make one, to show them that we love them.
And let me make it clear that the goal is to love them NOT be with them. Sometimes it seems that we do whatever it takes to stay in a relationship but don’t put enough effort to love. Relationship is the form but love is what powers that form.
Aren’t they the same thing.
No.
Being in a relationship means being with someone. It may mean having a friend, or a husband, or wife, or mutual understanding, or one of those crazy other terms that dont make sense to me. Loving someone means being patient, kind, not envying, not boasting, humbling ourselves, not being rude, not seeking our own ends, not being easily angered, it’s rejoicing in the truth, always protecting, always trusting, always hoping, and always persevering.
Sometimes, maybe even many times, we find ourselves in relationships that have gone dry and we’re wondering what’s missing. We feel unfulfilled in the relationship so we wonder whether it’s us or them, whether we did something wrong, or where we went wrong, what can we do to fix things, or compare notes with talk shows, websites, and “experts”. Some people will advice finding similar interests or hobbies, getting makeovers, taking a vacation, or buying new stuff, and these aren’t bad, but they’re shallow and cheap, and won’t fill that high-standard hunger in every human being to be truly loved.
My opinion, and that’s all this is, a humble opinion from a non-expert with a track record of mistakes, both of you should DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO LOVE. It’s not about having a certain number of hours together, or having me time or her time or alone time, or our media-planted romantic gestures, or remembering birthdays, or buying expensive things, but about doing whatever it takes.
And if it includes all the above, then it includes all of the above.
So value the right things, value the right person, and choose well depending on who you and what you value because when you’ve chosen you have to do whatever it takes to love them.
That’s a lot of work.
That’s probably why I prefer the office.
But if you value the right things and have chosen well, you don’t need to worry, because, as I’ve said in the past, you can never go wrong with the priceless things will always be great no matter how expensive they are. They’ll always be a steal.
To read the other 4:
1. It’s About What’s Most Important?
2. It’s Not About What You Think You Deserve. It’s About Who You Choose
3. It’s About What You Got Across Not What You Think You Said or Did
4. It’s About Infinite Possibilities Not Minimum Requirements
September 4: Morning Prayer
Little blessings now revealed
Out of promises once sealed
A grateful heart now rests
Despite the beatings and the tests
I now can more than cope
I trust in Your sure hope
Psalm 20
May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
Now this I know:
The LORD gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
LORD, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!
Graveyard Stroll
Storms clouding out night stars
On this moonless night
I waste away
As my love, my trust take flight
Eyes closed and woken to loneliness
In a dark empty room
I’m here holding
For hope, all’s left, a dark tomb
The 5 Faces of Victory
This month has been very challenging for me, well, come to think of it, the last 4 years has been. It’s not easy taking over a company with high liabilities, high operating expenses, a single dwindling revenue stream, and with very very little cash to work with.
But it’s been good. It’s taught me a lot. It’s been such a remarkable experience. Most of all, it’s been miraculous.
I feel like an old 27 year old but I know there’s still so much to learn, more dues to be paid, and more moments to experience.
I’m sure many of you can relate. Challenges, though they seem exclusive to us, are really something everyone faces. There is no person without challenge at some level, and many times, the greater the challenge, the greater the achievement.
So I’d like to share a simple piece, I started working on it in college I think, but it’s only now that I remember it after reading its very familiar story during my devotions yesterday. It’s actually my single favorite Bible story.
It’s the story of David and Goliath.
You already know how this story ends, young boy goes up against heavily armed giant soldier, and somehow manages to sling a stone into the towering man’s forehead, killing him, and delivering victory. That’s what we like to celebrate: the victories, the wins, the achievements, and the rewards. But I’d like to talk more about the process because that’s what’s important. The victories, the wins, the achievements, and rewards are what come from undergoing the right process. But because we’re usually impatient for the win we short-circuit the process and receive but a shadow of the inheritance that is our destiny.
Let me get to the meat of this post that I’m entitling “The 5 Faces of Victory” taking my characters from 1 Samuel 17.
Note: While I use scripture and read my Bible daily, I want to be very clear that I’m in no way a pastor or a good example of a Christian. Sometimes I get people calling me pastor and it makes me shiver because I respect the seriousness of the role, and it’s a role I don’t want to play. I’m just like you, trying to walk out his faith amidst temptation and challenge, and this is a walk of faith – a walk of hoping in the assurance that a relationship with God brings. And if you want an example read your bible. Jesus is the one you should be following.
The 5 Faces of Victory
Before Kind David, before David the Giant Slayer, before David the Psalmist, before everything, there was David the shepherd, the least among his brothers, the son of Jesse.
Face #1: Jesse – Your Present Situation
The Bible describes Jesse as a very old man with many sons. He greatly underestimated the role his youngest son, David, was going to play, that he didn’t even include him in the lineup when he presented his sons to the prophet Samuel. Instead, he had him tending sheep and delivering food.
Some of us are here. We feel like we’re stuck in a role that doesn’t maximize our abilities, that we’re working on something insignificant for people who don’t appreciate our potential.
David simply served faithfully, protecting the sheep from the lion and bear when necessary, and acting as a food delivery boy when asked. Imagine a pizza delivery guy, putting on his gloves, his jacket, fitting his helmet, revving his motorcycle, clueless that he’s about to save his nation. He didn’t know it but as David loaded his cart, events were unfolding that would catapult him into his destiny.
Face #2: The Israelites – A Need to Meet
This isn’t one person, but more a people group. They represent the need. The Israelites were all afraid of the Philistines and their champion, the 9 foot tall Goliath. None of them wanted to go out there and fight because destruction was sure.
Now some of us see a need or find ourselves surrounded by needs. It’s amazing when we realize that all the Israelites had the same opportunity David had to kill Goliath. They even had a head start since they had been camped out there. Many times the difference between the hero and the average person is a willingness to fight.
David saw a need and stepped up. He didn’t wait for a vote of confidence or for human assurance. He was even surprised no one had done anything to defeat the loud-mouthed giant. That step of taking responsibility would lead him to go head to head with Goliath, but not before going head to head with his own brother.
Face #3: Eliab – The Critics
The Bible says that a prophet has no honor in his hometown, and it’s true. It’s hard for us to accept when someone we know well tries to reach further than is comfortable. We listen to someone proclaim his vision and we think he’s arrogant, or crazy, or a dreamer, or immature, or inexperienced. David’s brother, Eliab, reacted this way:
When Eliab, David’s oldest brother, heard him speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, “Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.”
How did David respond? He basically said, “Hey. I’m free to say what I want.” Then shared his dream with others – until King Saul heard about him.
Don’t give up on your dreams because of critics. Maybe you made mistakes in the past that make people see you in a certain way. Eliab knew David was conceited, that’s probably because of something in the past. But David didn’t let the criticisms of the past dictate the direction of his future.
Face #4: King Saul – World Wisdom
What David said was overheard and reported to Saul, and Saul sent for him.
So David’s proclamations got him noticed by the king, and surprisingly, King Saul was open to the idea of David taking on Goliath – but he had his own ideas on how David was going to about things.
Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off.
Sometimes we will be tempted to use the wisdom and weapons of seemingly wise people, but we have to go back to the unique gifts God has given us. You don’t need the techniques of the wise; you can have the power of God to give you victory. This is hard for me since I’m such a striver. So it’s good to remind yourself through regular prayer and thanksgiving to God.
Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.
Face #5: Goliath – The Challenge
Jesse underestimated David. The Israelites needed him. His brother, Eliab, questioned him. King Saul tried to teach him new tricks. But Goliath, Golaith was going to kill him. This was the real fight where the stakes were highest. This was all or nothing.
I won’t get too deep into the story. You can read it for yourself. Besides this post is already too long. I do want to highlight what David said:
David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.
All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”
We know how the story ends, David wins, and Israel is saved. There’s a part of me that knows that my story will end in victory, but there’s also a part of me, an impatient, sinful, fearful part of me that needs to be reminded that the battle is the Lord’s, and that I need to face my giants in faith and let God hand me the victory.
How I Stay Healthy Cheaply
There’s a common misconception that living a healthy lifestyle is expensive. It can be expensive depending on how we approach it, especially if we add expensive gym memberships, fancy outfits, commercial energy bars and drinks, as well the latest craze equipment and books. But this can’t be true. I’m proof of that.
Being a young entrepreneur, I don’t have much of a disposable income. In fact, sometimes, there is no income. I’m trying to pay myself better this year (something I learned is actually a good practice for small business owners), but most of that still goes to paying mortgage. I can’t afford a lot of the fancy things out there but I still need to be healthy, so let me share with you my guide to being healthy cheaply.
Tip #1: Focus on the Basics
Many people spend so much money on the latest fitness or weight-loss craze. I’ve realized more can be achieved by just covering the basics. Here are some examples:
- You won’t need to spend money on losing weight if you’re already at your natural level because of a healthy diet of moderation and balance.
- You won’t need to spend on hospital bills, treatments, pills and other medication because your body is healing and regulating itself and is fed with the right nutrients and naturally flushes out toxins with a lot of water.
- You don’t need all sorts of stress and depression medicine or shrinks because you simply rest when you have to rest, don’t take on too much, and lift your worries to God in prayer.
In other words, before jumping into the next craze check the following:
1. Diet – am I eating right?
2. Water – am I drinking enough?
3. Rest – am I sleeping enough?
4. Less Stress – am I doing too much?
5. Nutrition – what supplements can I add to my already healthy diet?
You’ll notice that the 5 things I wrote above can be found relatively cheaply. 2 of them (rest and less stress) are actually achieved for free.
Tip #2: Look for Free / Low-Cost Alternatives
Instead of a gym, invest in dumbbells and faithfully do exercises at home. Use the stairs. Use your body weight (like with pushups and crunches). Ask friends for tips, or watch YouTube videos on how to do your form right. You’ll save so much from working out at home. No more parking. No more extra drinks, or special towels, or fancy outfits, or locker fees, or irritating mirror Adonises. You can even workout naked if you want – just make sure your room is locked and curtains drawn.
I used to buy a lot of those protein and energy bars. But these days, I go for eggs, nuts, and milk more. Instead of expensive probiotic pills, my friend, Alex Van Hagen, gives my his extra Kefir. My treadmill was moved to my parents’ house and I now run for free outside. I don’t even join races anymore. Why pay to run when you can run for free? Unless of course you believe in the cause.
Tip #3: Be A Regular Customer and Ask For Discounts
At the risk of sounding super cheap, discounts are something I definitely ask for. The best way to health is to be consistent, and since this pretty much means entering a routine, you can forecast what food, supplements, or other expenses you’ll have. Because of this, you can now become a regular consumer of certain products, and as you build loyalty, you can ask for discounts. A faster way to achieve this is to buy a year’s worth and ask for a volume discount. This is what I do because things are much cheaper. Of course you have to commit to using what you purchased or that would be the biggest waste of all.
Tip #4: Just Be Consistent
I tell myself this and I tell my staff the same thing: just do the things you have to do over and over better and better and you’ll breakthrough. You don’t need to jump from one health fad to the next. Just pick one and faithfully see it through. You don’t need to always be part of the latest. The old works just as well when done consistently.
I would have saved some money if I knew this earlier. So learn from my mistakes and take my advice. Being healthy doesn’t have to be financially expensive. All it takes is desire, resourcefulness, and a whole lot of commitment.
Read more at Naturalhealth.ph
Apple of His Eye
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me;
turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show me the wonders of your great love;
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings.
Psalm 17:6-8
Pleasant Places
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
sure I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6
The Man in the Arena
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Psalm 15
A psalm of David
Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy mountain?
Those whose walk is blameless,
who do what is righteous,
who speak the truth from their hearts;
who have no slander on their tongues,
who do their neighbors no wrong,
who cast no slur on others;
who despise those whose ways are vile
but honor whoever fears the Lord;
who keep their oaths even when it hurts;
who lend money to the poor without interest
and do not accept bribes against the innocent
Whoever does these things will never be shaken.
The Passionate Lover
I wasn’t planning to write today. I’ve been so busy working I haven’t really had time to think through a post. But sometimes I read something that just triggers my thinking. I just read a post entitled Kawawa Naman si God which translates to “Poor God” or “Pitiful God”, and the author went on to describe the different things that God has done to reach out to us because our sins take us so far away, culminating in the ultimate sacrificial act of His dying on the cross. The whole point of the article is that God’s love is so amazing – which I completely agree with.
I am amazed by God’s love too. He has really shown me much much more than I deserve. But here’s where I don’t agree: I don’t believe God is KAWAWA (which again translates to “pitiful” or ” “poor”). In fact, the Bible says in Hebrews 12:2, that He endured the cross and scorned its shame “for the JOY set before him.”
To Jesus, we were, we are, His JOY, and that’s why He died for us and that’s why He continues to reach out to us. He isn’t a pathetic guy trying all sorts of things to win a girl. He’s God, who doesn’t need us but because of His love for us, it’s His JOY to reach out to us. There’s nothing pitiful about someone doing something He enJOYs.
If there’s anyone who is pitiful or kawawa, it’s us.
It’s like a royal prince of incredible beauty, love, kindness, strength, and wealth trying to win the heart of a dirty, poor, lost and lonely tramp. She has more to lose than he does. She’s the pitiful one.
I’m that dirty, poor, lost, and lonely tramp. I’m the pitiful one with all my mistakes and sins. So I run to God, not a pitiful God, but a beautiful, loving, kind, strong, and wealthy God who for some reason sees me as His joy.
And that reason is LOVE.
A guy passionately pursuing a lady he loves is pitiful and pathetic to everyone, but himself. That’s because he loves her in a greater way than the others. He will do more, try more, and offer more than anyone whose love is less. He will even suffer more, and by the way the word “passion” means “suffering”. This is also where we get the concept of the “Passion of Christ” or the “Suffering of Christ”. Yes it was hard. Yes it was painful. Yes it was shameful. But it wasn’t pitiful. It was passionate.
It was so passionate the centurion looking up at Him at the cross didn’t say, “Poor guy” but instead he said, “Surely He was the Son of God” (Matthew 27:54). You don’t say that about someone pitiful. You say that to someone who commands honor.
Love is a personal thing. It doesn’t have to make sense to others for it to make sense to you. In fact, it won’t make sense unless they love the same. This is why it’s impossible to fully comprehend God’s love, because we don’t and can never love Him as He loves us, so it won’t ever make as much sense to us as it does to Him. To us, God is kawawa because we feel bad for Him that He can relentlessly pursue people who stubbornly turn away (including myself). But what’s amazing is that He doesn’t pity Himself because He is chasing His joy, and even more amazing, like the lost sheep, the lost coin, the pearl, and the treasure in the field, to God, we’re worth it.
Now on the flip-side, are we responding to His love in obedience? My personal answer is, not always. Many times I find myself loving something that turns out to be meaningless. And that’s why I’m the poor man who is so grateful for my Father in Heaven who, despite that, is passionately in love with me.
A Healthy Purpose
When people come to me for advice, usually about business or health products, I always answer them by throwing a simple question back at them, “Why?”
Why do you want to do that?
Why do you want to get rich?
Why do you want to get fit?
Why do you want to look good?
There’s a lot of “why” questions to ask and I suggest we all ask ourselves these things. Answering the “why” helps bring us back to our purpose for doing something and when we’re clear about the purpose, we can order our steps to achieve that purpose as best as we can.
I hope that as you visit this site and learn more about health, that you purpose to live a naturally health life, the way our bodies were designed to be. More than being buff, or slim, or toned, or sexy, what’s important is that we’re healthy and can function strongly and sustainably even as we age.
And I hope that our “why” for getting healthy is so that we can achieve an even greater purpose and a larger vision than simple longevity.
In other words, purpose to be healthy to achieve a healthy purpose.
Read more at Naturalhealth.ph
The Happy Waterboy
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ – Matthew 25:23
I was reminded of this thought while on my way home from yesterday’s Habitat for Humanity board meeting. I mentioned it before in a post entitled Beautifully Unfair where I talked about how sometimes society unfairly rewards people and recognizes many people who don’t deserve it and fails to recognize the people who really do most of the work. At the end my conclusion was:
“But I’m not complaining. Because now I see things as beautifully unfair. Beautifully unfair in our favor. It’s our role to take that and help the least and greatest of us realize that life is beautifully unfair in their favor too.”
As I gave this more thought, I remembered the NBA Finals, and how the Miami Heat players, particularly the big 3: Lebron James, Dwayne Wayde, and Chris Bosh, were so dejected walking out of the court as losers. These were 3 of the highest paid (each make at least $16,000,000 a year not including endorsements and other deals), most celebrated, most talented, and most recognized players in the NBA and they were walking away destroyed. Contrast this with the Dallas Mavericks water boy who makes maybe around $29,000 a year which is less than .2% of the salaries of the star players I just mentioned (yes, that’s decimal before the 2!), with only his mopping and wiping skills to showcase, and while we see him on tv, no one knows his name. But when Dallas won he was a champion, and he was jumping up and down with Nowitzki, Kidd, and Chandler. He was just as happy because he was also a winner.
I’d rather be the happy waterboy in a winning team any day, because being the star player of a losing team, as much as they would like to defend it, is torture. Who wants to be called the greatest player that never won a championship?
Ask yourself, are you the best worker in a losing company? Are you the best leader in a broken government? Are you the all-powerful patriarch of a home of brats? Are you the best actor in a bad movie? Are you the most decent citizen in a dying country?
Again, I’d rather be the happy waterboy in a winning team. I’d rather be jumping for joy at the buzzer than rationalizing my superiority in the press conference.
Being the star player means getting the perks. It means getting the praise, the respect, and the gifts. Being the waterboy means you get all the dirt, you wipe the floors, pick-up sweaty towels, and serve Gatorade.
But the game is about winning not being the star player. We need more people willing to serve, and less people trying to look good. We need more hands, less faces. We need more heart, less poses. We need these because we need to all work together if we’re going to win.
Of course, the best spot of all is to be the star player of a winning team, the one that wins the championship, that garners the most valuable player award. This spot gets the most praise yet also has the most responsibility and requires the most work to fulfill. And while others aspire for this position, I’m learning to make an effort (though my pride gets in the way a lot) to step back and make room, for my Father in Heaven to get the ball, take His shot, and watch Him make it every time.
But do you know what really sucks? The waterboy of the losing team. Now that sucks. So get up and do something.
Girl by the Window
Girl by the window
Dressed in blue
Radiating beauty
Standing in cue
I don’t want to miss a thing
I don’t want to lose this view
I don’t want this moment to pass
I don’t want to lose you
Living by Design
The older I get (and that’s not old at all at 27!), the simpler I want my life to be. I don’t want to imagine how I will look like at 60 or 70, maybe wearing nothing but a straps of cloth to cover my private area, long shaggy hair, and a long unshaven beard.
Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme. My imagination has a way of taking over sometimes.
But as I was looking at the original meaning of the word “simple” I came across a very interesting definition:
simple: plain; artless; not given to design…
I told myself, “I don’t want to live without art! I love art.” So I’m re-terming how I want to live life, not simple and without art, but “by design”, meaning, I want to live my life, which includes treating my body the way it was designed to be lived and treated. This of course assumes that there’s a design to follow – and there are a few guides you can follow:
1. Moderation - you don’t have to eat until you’re bloated. You don’t have to drink until you’re drunk. You don’t have to work until you collapse. You don’t have to sleep until noon. There are many things that are great when taken in moderation, the same things that are destructive when taken out of bounds. We should listen to our bodies and stop when enough is enough.
2. Patience - I’m terrible at this. I want everything right away, but I’m learning. Life is many times better, and healthier to live, when we allow things to fall into place in time. I’m not saying be lazy or complacent. I’m saying, like any good farmer knows, there are seasons, and as long as you do the work needed in each season, you will reap at some point. You don’t have to force it.
3. Love- I’m not talking about looking for a mushy feeling daily. I’m talking about living a life that pursues and protects the things and people we love. We were designed to fall in love, but we weren’t designed to fall in love with stupid things (um… that’s why our hearts were partnered with a brain). But life was designed to be propelled by love though many times we end up living motivated by needs and wants, which are not necessarily bad, but not half as great as the things we love.
I know you’ll discover your own guides to help you live a fulfilled life. If you don’t know you where to start, go grab a Bible, that’s our manual. I hope you have a healthy week and enjoy the benefits of living a life by design.
Read more at Naturalhealth.ph
It’s About Infinite Possibilities Not Minimum Requirements
“Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while others wonder what happened”
This is part 4 of my 5-part series on relationships. I’m jumping to this point because the thoughts on this topic are flowing right now. Writing takes a lot of discipline, but there are days when the inspiration for a certain piece is there and you better seize her. Besides, I’ve been getting messages asking me to continue. If you want to read the others, you can read them at the following links:
1. It’s About What’s Most Important?
2. It’s Not About What You Think You Deserve. It’s About Who You Choose
3. It’s About What You Got Across Not What You Think You Said or Did
4. It’s About Infinite Possibilities Not Minimum Requirements
5. It’s About Whatever It Takes
Before we move forward, I’d like to make it very clear that I AM NO EXPERT on relationships. I’m no expert on anything. I’m not an expert Christian (not even close). I’m not an expert businessman (just ask the banks). And I’m definitely not an expert on people or relationships (just ask anyone).
But I’m learning, and I’m sharing with you the lessons along the way.
Irrelevant Minimums
I noticed something interesting about our top staff members:
The excellent ones always exceed expectations. The ordinary ones usually disappoint.
I noticed this too among the people I know. The excellent, disciplined, hardworking, persevering, consistent, and faithful people, even with their mistakes, seem to continue to grow and impress. While the ordinary people, by ordinary I mean the average well-intentioned human being, seem to be stuck in a rut.
What does this have to do with relationships?
A lot actually. Because the principle here is this:
Excellent people are not after the minimum achievement or meeting a minimum requirement. They’re after something much bigger the minimum becomes irrelevant. Relationships with minimum people are bound to disappoint. Relationships with complete devotion will surpass your wildest dreams.
Ordinary people are simply trying to pass. Excellent people are giving it all they’ve got.
It’s the difference between the guy who guns for a passing grade and the guy who goes for an A+. They’ll both pass the test, but only one of them is getting the reward. I’m not saying that this is about grades. It’s not. It’s about changing your perspective to aim and reach for the infinite possibilities available to us instead of just going for the minimum requirements.
Let’s connect this even closer to relationships. Think about your best friends, your favorite relatives, your spouse or partner, or any favorite human being. None of these great relationships are based on having some sort of minimum time spent, or words spoken, or pats on the back, or dinner dates. Our best relationships are too big for that.
How many times they date you isn’t an issue, they always have something prepared.
You’re not mad they forgot your birthday, they already keep you front and center every day.
You don’t have to count how times they were at fault, you know they’ll fix things when they say they will.
What’s the point? You’re not worried about the minimum requirements of a relationship when the person you’re with is already exceeding them. Now before you start checking if your partner or friend is a minimum person or not, check yourself. Are you someone who is going for excellence in your relationships and exceeding expectations?
Here are some examples:
You’re not worried that your folks will get mad at you for being lazy, you’re already studying very very hard.
You’re not arguing based on a mental list of things you did for a person, you’re too busy thinking of what wonderful thing to do for them next.
You’re quick to apologize when you’re wrong, because being united in truth is better than always sounding correct.
Excellent people don’t have to worry about faithfulness issues, they’re already completely devoted. That’s the meaning of faithfulness by the way: complete devotion, and not just not-cheating.
And why do we have to be excellent at all? Because why live life and run our relationships gunning for the minimum required of us? Why let our work life be just about paying the bills? Why let our marriages be just about providing for the kids and accepting that we’re going to get ugly no matter what? Why can’t it be about chasing something and someone you’re passionate about?
Some of you might say, “Because that’s reality, David.” No, that’s your reality, a reality you put on yourself when you settled. Whether you settled because you were disappointed before, or hurt, or unsure, or confused, you’ll end up just living a life justifying why you never achieved more.
Instead of the minimum requirements, let’s persevere towards the infinite possibilities. Infinite meaning the eternal and limitless options available to us when we live by faith.
Again this is not an article to take to your partner, this is a reminder for me not to be the type who settles for minimums but to reach beyond.
5 Simple Health Favorites
There’s so much information on the web. We can find everything on anything. There’s actually too much in my opinion. Take health for example. Never in all of human history has it been this easy to get information on health, diets, exercise plans, equipment, best practices, and even testimonials. It’s so easy. But how many of us actually use this resource to get healthier? In fact, more of us probably use it to become un-healthier (too much Facebook while sitting on lethargic butts).
So I’d like to share with you some of my favorite health-related things to help you get past the clutter of stuff being offered, starting with the Internet itself.
1. Google – Yup! It’s a health tool. Whenever I come across a new product or term or practice, I google up the words and find a range of great resources. Be sure to compare different sources because not everything online is credible. Check out official sites and not just forums and discussions.
2. Chin-up Bar, TRX, Yoga mat and dumbbells – I love working out but I can’t stand gyms. So I have some inexpensive exercise equipment at home. They’re very simple but I’ve learned that simple activities done consistently will always beat out fancy fads.
3. Supplements: Amalaki, Squalene, Tulsi – Amalaki is an all-natural vitamin C. Squalene is the most powerful natural antioxidant. And Tulsi is an amazing de-stresser. I take a lot of these 3, more than the recommended daily dosage. I’m not worried though, they’re all natural.
4. My bed – It’s sitting in your bedroom and offers incredible benefits. Resting and sleeping are incredible and free ways to stay healthy and recover.
5. Running shoes – You don’t need the fancy ones. You just need something simple to run with. I don’t care for the new technology, I just need something that won’t break. Running is an amazing cardiovascular exercise that’s easy to customize depending on your level (run slower or faster, or longer or shorter depending on your body’s capabilities). This is also free by the way.
As you can see, being healthy doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. A lot of what you need you already have. So no more excuses and get healthy!
Read more at Natural Health+
Number 6:24-27
May the Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord turn his face toward you
and give you peace.
Definitions (Part 1)
This is my Fathers Day Post, though it is not exclusively about fathers. It’s a post about one very important role they play, and it’s also about reason, the reasons “why” we do things, but mostly, it’s a post about meaning.
Why am I writing this?
I have three reasons:
1. As a reminder to myself, an exercise to keep taking stock of my life and to purposefully live a life of significance. I’ve realized that I’ve used too many words loosely. It’s sad because I know I have a gift, and it’s meant to build others up. So it’s important, when I take stock of my life, to check and see if the gifts God has given me are being maximized. I know the weight of my words, and while I try to use them to encourage others through this blog, I’ve also used them to devastating effect. It’s one more item on my looooong list of things to improve on.
2. As an encouragement to others to not take life for granted, but instead enjoy it as something meaningful, and to take charge of defining their lives as something significant.
3. And for my last reason for writing this, is that it is my way of honoring fathers who take it upon themselves to set their children on a life of purpose, specifically my Pop, the father that I depended on as a child, and my heavenly Father that I depend on more than ever as a man.
Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say
One of the things I like to do, which many friends find irritating, is to ask people the definition of a word they just used. I hear people say simple words like “cool”, “favorite”, “best friend”, or even “love”, and I’ve noticed that most people are unable to define what they mean. I usually get the same reaction:
“I know what the word means, David, I just don’t know how to define it.”
No wonder so many lives are lived without purpose, longing to be “cool” and not realizing its mutability, that what is “cool” changes depending on time and place. No one thinking rationally would swallow smoke for dinner. Yet we chase “cool” and think achieving that will fulfill us.
No wonder we have so many broken promises. We don’t realize that to “promise” is to make a declaration and bind yourself either in honor, conscience or law to fulfill a certain act in the future. The worth of a promise has everything to do with the promise-giver.
No wonder we take advantage of “best friends”. We don’t realize that the word “friend” means:
One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and to seek to promote his happiness and prosperity; opposed to foe or enemy.
And the word “best” means:
The most good. Most advanced. Most complete. Most correct. Most beneficial.
Put them together and we realize that the people we should be calling our “best friends” are actually not that many. That there is a spot for the “best” among just the “good”, and that if someone was our “best”, we should be seeking to promote his or her happiness and prosperity the most.
No wonder our relationships are so messed up in a society that sings, “All you need is love.” Who knows what love really means anymore? To understand the original meaning of love is to know that the definition of “love” is tied very closely to the concepts of “value” and “beauty”. We fall in and out of love because it’s been watered down to feelings and emotions on one extreme and obligation on the other. But to put it simply, love is to find something so beautiful and so valuable, that your emotions lead you to show affection. It’s to realize how excellent something is that you want it so bad. Love is reserved for excellent things – not shallow, empty, frivolous things. This is why to know God, to see His beauty and worth, is the best way to learn to love Him more. And that is why to love Him is our first duty – because He is most excellent, He is most beautiful, and He is most worthy. To love someone is to find and know for sure what makes that specific person beautiful and what her worth is, and to show your affection in word and action.
Words are important. They are powerful. They are powerful not because of the boldness of their font or the length of their spelling. They’re powerful because of one thing: their definition.
To define something is to put clear boundaries around it and say, “This is what this is. This is its meaning. This is its significance.” When we don’t know what something is, when we can’t clearly state its meaning, or don’t realize its significance, we drain our very powerful tool of its potency. We lose our ability to define our lives and default to the definitions others put. Worst of all, when our words, the terms that define our lives, are muddied, life itself becomes muddied chasing feelings, and not realizing to its fulness, the object, the moment, the person, that made the emotion meaningful.
To be continued…
Going for A Profitable Life
One of the main questions people ask me (especially business people) is “How does Natural Health+ make money?” Many time this is quickly followed by “Is it even profitable?”
Being a young businessman, I do understand by now the need for a business to become sustainably profitable as quickly as it can. But being the alternative thinker that I am, I also believe that profitability isn’t always financial.
(I can now imagine my partners groaning.)
To be profitable means more than just it’s most popular definition: “money-making”. To be profitable can mean “yielding benefit” or “useful”, or in my favorite way of saying things “delivering value”.
For Natural Health+, profit for us has been agreed upon to be able to deliver the following:
For Customers:
1. Great selection of naturally healthy products and services
2. Well-packaged, well-prepared products and services
3. All of this at an affordable price
For Partners:
1. Production support (financial and technical support)
2. Marketing support (access to our distribution channels and market strategy)
3. Profitable relationship (of course we have to make money!)
You’ll notice that our strategy for affordability is all about giving to our customers and our partners real value. The goal of Natural Health+ was always to be profitable but not in the traditional sense. While I know we’re economically feasible, the goal of Natural Health+ is to allow people, specifically those in the Philippines (including me), to live healthy lives – naturally. If we’re able to do that then I would consider this a success.
Part of being healthy is living a balanced life, and part of living a balanced life is knowing that life is more than just about financial profit. My encouragement for you this week is to live a profitably balanced life. Work hard, be healthy, enjoy great relationships, and be grateful to God in everything. There’s nothing complicated about it. Like anyone else, I have my challenged and problems, but I try to keep my perspective right.
It’s easier said than done but it’s well worth it.
For more health articles visit naturalhealth.ph
The Essential Leader
You’ve probably read an article by my friend and finance coach Randell Tiongson on Why our neighbors are richer than us. I always hesitate to simplify too much when trying to understand things (though I believe that there are dominant factors) because the idea of context is very real. It’s easy to compare situations and point to obvious differences, but it’s more difficult when we weigh our comparisons with contextual realities such as a country’s history (experiences, influences, and development), its geography, its relationships, and even its environment. So to say that one thing is the cause of everything isn’t my style.
Having said that, I do agree with Randell on the importance of saving. The Philippines is, as I will explain later, a “comfort culture” with a very short perspective, and that is something that has to be addressed, no matter what our explanation or excuse is. A healthy savings rate (coupled with wise deployment) has always been, and will always be (in my opinion), a fundamentally important part of long term development. I recommend meeting Randell and exploring how he can help you with your finances.
Life is Not Nothing
I saw a few comments asking, no, more like rebutting, “how can one save when there’s nothing to begin with?” And the answer to that, based on my short 6-7 years of working with the poor, is that no one has nothing. Some people don’t have money, but the fact that they exist without money means they live, and to be living means to have life, and to have life is to have “something”, something amazing in fact. We need to help people make the most of their lives, by helping them live with a purpose, and help them achieve that purpose with an economic engine (among other things, lest you think it’s only about money). I believe that no excellence, if truly excellent, will remain unrewarded and unrecognized. Excellence is too rare in our society not to stand out.
Broad Strokes for Simple Folks – Like Me
Anyway, I told Randell I’d give him my thoughts on the subject, and while I haven’t had time to crunch through the intricacies of the Philippine context as compared to our neighbors, so I really can’t say why exactly our neighbors are richer than us, I will share some broad thoughts on the topic. I asked a few people and I got some simplistic answers and I’d like to shoot down the religious reply:
Because we don’t believe in Jesus.
Umm… I can name quite a few economically rich nations that don’t believe in Jesus. I can actually name a lot. God is our provider, and He does own the cattle on a thousand hills, and He can miraculously bless us, but he has also instituted principles (such as sowing and reaping for example) that must be followed. I believe that Jesus is Lord, but I’ll be the first to admit that I have not achieved my full financial potential because I have not fully obeyed a lot of these principles. That being said, we can actually obey these principles without believing in Jesus and become wealthy – wealthy with treasures on earth that moth and rust can destroy, that thieves can steal, and that we cannot take with us to the grave.
Anyway, let me give my humble broad thoughts on why the Philippines is not richer than its neighbors.
We have negotiable values – As a unified body, we don’t know what’s truly, non-negotiably important to us. So everything is for sale. Our trees are for sale. Our corals are for sale. Our earth is for sale. Our women are for sale. Our children are for sale. Our principles are for sale. Our future is for sale. Our leadership is for sale. Our organs are for sale. Everything is for sale for a people who do not know what they hold most important. The sad thing is, when we take things for granted, we lose them for far less than they’re worth.
We have tiny shared vision because we can’t see past ourselves – Whenever our focus is on ourselves, our issues, our problems, our opinions (such as this, hehe), and our significance, we will inevitably be left with a small vision. Why? Because a single person is tiny. A country of 96 million people, if unable to see past themselves and share a great vision, will never harness the great potential that lies within its people.
Unknown mission – What’s the purpose of our country? Have we ever stopped to think about this? What is the purpose of the Philippines? Everyone needs a purpose, a reason to exist beyond more than just hanging around. Successful business gets this, and they get this well, which explains the profits, even when that mission isn’t too great. Disney’s mission is “To make people happy.” Amazon.com “seeks to be the world’s most customer-centric company, where customers can find and discover anything they want to buy online at a great price.” And Nike wants “To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world.” What’s our mission?
Undefined goals – Goals are important. Imagine a football match without goals or a basketball game without baskets. There has to be a way to tell whether we’re winning or not. When the goals of our lives, and of our collective goals as a people, are undefined, no one fails, but no one wins either because there’s no measure to track progress.
Irresponsible leadership – What’s the difference between irresponsible and un-responsible? Irresponsible means “not acting with a sense of responsibility” or simply “not responding to the needs and opportunities around us. I talk about this more in another post. And unresponsible? It’s not even a word. It’s not? Nope. And the reason is because to be un-responsible means a person is not liable to respond, but the original concept of responsibility is that we’re all always liable, and not to do anything is essentially to turn our back and deny our role. When our leadership doesn’t take responsibility and wisely respond to the needs and opportunities of our country, we will limit our achievements.
The Essential Leader
I remember another writer friend of mine share that, in his opinion, the Philippines has a “broken system not a damaged culture” and that we can’t hide behind the excuse that our culture is really damaged this way. While I agree that our system of governance is broken (such as how people are able to break the law and get away with it), and I agree that we can’t hide behind where we’re lacking and we must address the implementation of our laws, I do not agree that our culture is not damaged. In fact, it doesn’t take close inspection to see that it has many elements that are damaging to us, our children, and our future generations. Any system, even the best ones, will fail when the pervading culture is severely cracked.
And what is culture?
The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group.
The Filipino people, as a group, have many attitudes, values, goals, and practices that are honorable and admirable. You’ll never find a kinder, more hospitable, and more beautiful people anywhere else in the world. Traditional Filipino values such as being malikhain (creativity), practicing bayanihan (being a united community), and being matapat (committed to good) are still alive in many ways, but so are the negative traits of kanya-kanya (a selfish concept that puts one’s needs ahead), bahala na (which is masked as a reliance on God, but really a lazy act of surrender and resignation), Ningas-cogon (lack of enduring commitment), manana (procrastination), and excessive utang na loob (indebtedness to the favors others show you).
We are a relational culture, which is good, but are, as seen in different instances, reduced to a “harmony at any cost” culture. And you cannot run anything, a business, an organization, a family, our own lives, much less a country on a friendship first (versus principle first), don’t rock the boat (versus grow, innovate, and change) set of decision guiding values.
Sounds pretty damaged to me. Damaged, but not destroyed, and very redeemable – Redeemable by the herculean task of uniting everyone (or at least a dominant number) under foundational core values, a clear and great vision, with a significant mission of purpose, all broken down to defined goals, and led by responsible people.
What a job. And that’s why we need great leaders.
So Much Responsibility
So many hats and shoes too big will fit if worn bravely.
Perfect Morning
The moon was not full
The weather was weird
The traffic was, well, traffic
And things were complex
On that perfect morning
When you traced circles on my hand
What is a business?
1. An organization or enterprising entity engaged in commercial, industrial or professional activities. A business can be a for-profit entity, such as a publicly-traded corporation, or a non-profit organization engaged in business activities, such as an agricultural cooperative.
2. Any commercial, industrial or professional activity undertaken by an individual or a group.
3. A reference to a specific area or type of economic activity.
A Year With You
Thinking of what’s past
My mem’ries flying fast
It’s been one amazing year
Having you right here
With me
Rain is falling hard
On our graveyard
Remembering the start
And how you stole my heart
Away
Old limits surpassed
Hoping this will last
Despite the heavy luggage
On our secret voyage
To us
Wishing on a dark sky
It’s giving no reply
But it’s been one amazing year
Having you right here
With me
Health Doesn’t Have to be Complicated
Health doesn’t have to be weird. It doesn’t have to be unreachable, or impossible, or expensive. That’s what we at Natural Health+ believe at least. Part of the motivation for starting Natural Health+ was to be able to bring in our favorite all-natural health products for our own use to share with friends at a reasonable price. It didn’t make sense to us why nature’s gifts at its purest form was always so expensive to enjoy when obtained from popular chains.
Think about it.
People in the provinces, in areas where fruit trees and herbal plants are abundant, enjoy the health benefits of these products at very low cost. Many of them literally just pluck their vitamins of trees. Of course that’s not so possible in cities but there is a way to make health more accessible to every day people like me.
Ayurveda
Among the many health disciplines around the world, the oldest is Ayurveda which stands for “life science”. I’m not into the mystical side of Ayurveda (like I said, I want something simple), but a health system that has been around for centuries must be doing something right. We’ll be featuring more articles, contributions, and Ayurvedic products.
More at Natural Health+
What is an Investment?
An asset or item that is purchased with the hope that it will generate income or appreciate in the future. In an economic sense, an investment is the purchase of goods that are not consumed today but are used in the future to create wealth. In finance, an investment is a monetary asset purchased with the idea that the asset will provide income in the future or appreciate and be sold at a higher price.
Treasures in Heaven
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
But store up for yourselves treasures in heave, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21
Free Luxuries
I did something different today. Instead of going straight to work after my 6:00am prayer, I packed my laptop, iPad, and mobile phone, along with all the papers to sign and went for a walk. It was still around 6:45 when I left my apartment building and the Coffee Bean down the street wouldn’t be open until 7am so I walked slower than usual, kept my mind free of concerns, and just enjoyed watching the morning unfold.
I was reminded of the free luxuries available to us, free luxuries that are actually healthy to enjoy. Peaceful mornings, concern-free sleep, the green on grass, the brilliant hues on petals, and the sight of other living things remind us to value the gift of life itself.
Enjoying life and being healthy don’t have to be expensive. A lot of benefit can actually come from free things that come when we learn to slow down, be grateful, content, and continue to hope.
As you read and enjoy our articles, remember to enjoy the free luxuries available to you every single day.
For more natural health articles visit naturalhealth.ph
Romans 11:33 – 36
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
“Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?”
“Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?”
For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
The Price is Right (Part 1)
Blood alone moves the wheels of history.
- Martin Luthor
On most Sundays, I wake up early and start they day by worshipping our God at the 8:00 am service of Victory – Fort Bonifacio. I really like this early time slot since it, just as with daily devotions, it fixes my perspective back on God. I’ll be the first to admit that I can get distracted, to and that’s why it’s important to me to keep running to God daily. Another benefit of going to church early is that opens up my day to do the many non-work activities I’m into such as writing, which I’m doing now.
A few days ago, after one of my evening runs, I stop by Hanaichi in Fort Bonifacio to have dinner. While having dinner, the owner of the place, Sachi-san, sent over a new dish they were trying. It was too big for me so I had it split and sent to the table of the older gentleman sitting beside me. I invited him to join me at my table since we were both eating alone anyway. This might seem odd to some of you, but I’ve had some of the most interesting conversations with complete strangers, and this one would not disappoint.
It turns out my new foreign friend, who was Swiss and old enough to be my father, was working in the Philippines and staying in the area as well. After talking a little bit about ourselves I asked him the same question I like to ask the different successful people I’ve met: “If you could only choose three things, what would you say are the three most important keys to your success?”
Without hesitation he gave his answer: discipline, a willingness to learn your whole life, and be fair to others. He went on to explain each, and here’s, in my paraphrased version, what he told me:
Discipline. You have to be able to order your life to do what’s necessary. No shortcuts. No easy way around things. Just consistent hard work and doing what has to be done.
You also have to be willing to learn. I’m old but I just finished my MBA. I don’t need it. I’m already very high. I just wanted to learn more and test if this old brain can still handle it. You need to be willing to learn new things all the time and not just accept the way things are because there’s always a better way.
The last one is the be fair to others. The golden rule: do unto others what you want them to do unto you. That’s as clear an explanation that you need.”
I listened to him and realized that he wasn’t saying anything new. These were the same principles taught to me as a child, taught to almost everyone I know. But how many of us live these out to the level that we should? I found it interesting that the lessons the Swiss learn and the lessons we learn are similar in principle but worlds apart in results. How could this be?
I would find my answer in blood.
(To be continued…)
Untitled
The poetry of life is a rose among thorns.
Ekla Cholo Re
And this from one of my favorite writers, Rabindranath Tagore.
If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou of evil luck,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou of evil luck,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou of evil luck,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart
and let it burn alone.
Spoiled by Entitlement
In my last post, I discussed what it means to be spoiled, and that is, to be unfit to face the realities and recognize the beauty of life. I’d like to expound more on the idea of being fit to face the realities of life in this article and talk about what it means to be spoiled in this area.
Life requires hard work and perseverance. It is full of adversities that have to be overcome. Difficulty is not what life is about but it is a part of it. Change is also a big part. It’s something that will always affect our existence. We need to be people who are able to face these realities, the adversity, the changes, the hardships, and we need to be strong enough to overcome. It is in fighting and overcoming that mere existing gives way to living.
I’ll be listing a few attitudes we pick up that make us unfit to successfully face the realities of life.
First on the list is Entitlement – thinking the world owes us.
The world doesn’t owe us anything. We don’t deserve better treatment because we’re rich and we don’t deserve a freebie because we’re poor. Kids don’t deserve gifts on their birthdays – that’s why it’s called a gift. Employees don’t deserve a bonus – that’s why it’s called a bonus. People don’t deserve kindness – that’s why it’s called kindness. We don’t deserve friends – we have to open our life to others and they have to respond. People don’t necessarily deserve success – that’s why it’s called an achievement, it’s something that has to be attained through the right kind of work. Salaries are earned. Trophies are won. Charity is extended willingly. We don’t deserve anything. The best things in life are either earned or gifted, so our posture is always of diligence and gratefulness.
When something eludes you, persevere. When something drops on your lap, thank the source. There’s no room for pride because so many of life’s essentials were given to us free – starting with life itself. But there’s also no room for apathy because every gift has a purpose that has to be walked out, uncovered, and enjoyed. Diligence without gratefulness leads to pride, greed, and exploitation of others and even ourselves. Gratefulness without diligence leads to a settler’s life, without growth nor achievement . We need both.
Stop feeling entitled, instead, be diligent with the work of your hands and grateful for everything in all circumstances.
Spoiled
“There’s more to fighting than rest, sir. There’s character. There’s strength of heart.”
- Colonel Robert Gould Shaw
Spoil
v.
a. To impair the value or quality of.
b. To damage irreparably; ruin.
c. To become unfit for use.
d. To impair the completeness, perfection or unity of; to flaw.
e. To do harm to the character, nature, or attitude.
f. To plunder.
I just finished watching Glory, a movie about American Civil War Colonel Robert Gould Shaw and one of the first African American regiments. Its haunting theme lingers in my head, along with a thousand floating thoughts. I remember watching this as a boy with my dad, and I remember him explaining to my brothers and I the importance of treating everyone equally, of bravery and courage, of persevering against adversity, and of sacrifice for a worthy cause – even until death. I remember asking my dad why the title was “Glory”, and he just said, “because that’s what it is.”
More than a decade later, I understand what my dad meant. The movie Glory, which really comes from a word meaning “the splendor of God”, was a depiction of lives offered up. The glory of life is not in our finding ourselves and all we want, it’s in losing ourselves to something greater.
But we’ve become spoiled that we don’t understand this anymore. We value comfort, security (which usually turns out to be false security), and prominence over hard work, sacrifice, and humility.
Simply put, spoiling something means to make it unsuitable for its purpose, to ruin it. We see this word used for food. Spoiled food is no longer fit for consumption. We see this with things such as paint. Muddied paint is unfit for coloring brilliant hues. We see this in the environment. Polluted water is unfit a habitat for fish and plants. There’s many more examples, but of all the things that can be spoiled it’s most dangerous when it is about people.
Spoiled people are those who have become unfit to face realities and recognize the beauty of life.
A spoiled person will be unfit to contribute positively to society. Spoiled people will fail at being good fathers or mothers, they’ll make terrible partners, they will be selfish friends and relatives, and they won’t live fulfilled lives – all the while blaming someone or something else.
I’ll be writing more on what it means to be unfit to face the realities of life and to be unfit to recognize the beauty of life in the following posts but I want to make something clear:
Being spoiled is not about having a lot of things, there are many wealthy people who aren’t spoiled and many poor people who are. It’s about the attitudes and mindsets we adopt that make us unfit to fulfill the purpose of God in our lives.
The reason why parents spoil their kids when they injudiciously give them anything is not because the kids have a lot of stuff, but because they rob them of the chance to learn the patience and perseverance needed to win in life. They become unfit to achieve their dreams. Leaders spoil their people by again injudiciously giving them what they want to appease them, instead of guiding them through the slow but character building processes necessary of sustainable development. They become unfit to progress.
Spoiling is not about giving. It’s about giving with a lack of judgment.
Life & Health
I’ve been promoting community service and living a lifestyle of volunteerism for all of my post-college life. Helping others, along with living a naturally healthy life, are two concepts I like to encourage people to pursue. Being healthy allows us to make the most of the time we have alive, and nothing is more fulfilling than being able to help another person.
My dad, Joey Bonifacio, once said that the priorities in life are God, life (including the lives of other people), and the body (our health), secondary to these, though also important are money (which allows us many opportunities), food (which is the satisfaction of our appetites), and clothes (signifying the achievement of a high level of excellence). It’s important that we know and remember that God is the most important priority, and following it closely is life and health – not money or the things it can buy. After all if your house was on fire you wouldn’t be scrambling for things to save, you’d be saving life first. (At least this should be the case.)
I say this because we need to catch just how important life and health are so that we will appreciate them fully. Things we don’t appreciate we take for granted. Things we take for granted we lose. It’s so easy to get caught up in the familiarity of our day to day interactions that sometimes we forget to prioritize life and health.
You can be healthy naturally, and you can prioritize life in the process. I encourage you to look for a foundation to join and actively make giving a part of your lifestyle. If you don’t know where to start you can try these 3 favorites of mine:
U! Happy Events for Kids
Real LIFE Foundation
Habitat for Humanity
We have a big event on May 21 in Marikina. I’d love to see you all there!
For more health articles visit us at naturalhealth.ph.
That’s A Rap
I can’t say I relate to rap very much, but here’s one I enjoyed.
We Can When You Can
Photo from Montalban Cycling.
“So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating effect.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I’ve finally finished my work for the day as dictated by Text Edit files on the desktop of my computer. Beside me hums my MacBook backing up files on the Time Machine, while yet another Apple product, an iPad, churns out a seemingly never-ending stream of email. Another quiet yet busy evening for me.
But it’s not work I want to talk to you about tonight. Well, it does entail work, but it isn’t for financial profit. It’s for something greater, something more fulfilling, and longer-lasting. It’s something of greater value.
And what can be more valuable to us than the life we’ve been given?
Every day, everyone everywhere, is given the gift of life. That gift is part time, and part opportunity, part dream, and part work, it’s part laughter, and part fight, it’s part chance, and part perseverance. It’s a multi-part, multi-faceted gift that many people, and I would say even most, take for granted.
If you knew just how precious your life is, not someone smarter’s life or someone richer’s, but your life, you’d live differently. You wouldn’t sleep -in so late, or spend so much time on Facebook, because time is gold. You wouldn’t stuff your body with junk, because that’s your vehicle through this life. You wouldn’t let people’s criticism affect you so much, because you know you have a purpose. You wouldn’t give yourself so easily, because you know that you don’t trade for less than someone’s all, because love expects all and only trades for all.
Most of all, if you knew how valuable God’s gift of life is, you would treat others different, because you understand the worth of another that is made in His image.
I hope we don’t miss the fulfillment that life has to offer because of the passive sins of apathy and laziness, sins that have left us warming the bench, complaining and criticizing, with not a statistic in the game.
It’s with this in mind, this understanding of God’s gift, that we introduce the U! Can program of U! Happy Events and The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. U! Can is our way of activating everyone to bring value to others by participating in fun and helpful activities. U! Can, with its partner organizations (such as my personal favorites Real LIFE Foundation and Habitat for Humanity), work together to create unique-serving-experiences for people who want to start contributing.
Giving doesn’t always have to be big. It can start small. What’s important is that you give from your heart. We know that someday, as you give, you will be blessed beyond imagination, and we hope your heart stays where it started: beating for others.
To join U! Can just visit your nearest Coffee Bean outlet and sign-up on the message board. If you need more information you can ask the baristas who’ll be happy to help you. Our first event is on May 21, and sign-up sheets are already on the boards. The fee for this first event is P300, but that comes with a shirt and a lot of fun. Part of the proceeds will also go to the partner organization. I’ll be there along with our president Harvard Uy Debaron, and the famous magician and Mr. Big Heart JB Delacruz, and the rest of the U! Happy Events and Coffee Bean teams. I’m looking forward to seeing all of you there.
I know you’ll contribute greatly. I know this for sure.
I know U! Can.
-
Someday, my sons and daughters will thrive in a different, more beautiful Philippines, where the sun shines on a canopy of thick trees surrounding beautiful cities. There will be no more slums for everyone will have a home, or will open their home to those cast out. There will be a spoon, a chopstick, a straw to feed every mouth. Movement will flow smoothly because people give way and enjoy the safety of efficient public transportation. The rich will give freely without condescension and the poor will work without entitlement. There will be harmony because we embrace the truth that we are destined to be one people by an omniscient Father.
I could go on dreaming, but it’s late.
Time to sleep, and dream some more.
Healthy Appetites
appetite. “desire toward”
Every year, we Filipinos enjoy some days off during Holy Week, and while I normally like staying in Manila, this year, I spent it with some friends at Tagaytay Highlands. My friend Rox Lee was kind enough to offer her place in Woodlands for our stay there, and the ladies in our group did the groceries and prepared the meals.
I just did my thing, which is play with the kids, run the mountains, play some tennis, and read read read.
One of the conversations we had while we were there was about healthy eating and staying away from junk. A lot of people, when they find out that my diet is mostly fish, vegetables, and fruits, with very little junk such as soda, high sugar desserts, and processed fast food, are surprised at how I’m able to maintain this. They think it’s about will power or super discipline.
It’s really more about teaching yourself to love the good stuff and hate the bad stuff. The only reason why we like the bad stuff is because we’ve gotten used to them being so normal that we’ve accepted them into our lives, and now even love them. Fake, processed, and artificial have taken the spots of fresh, healthy, and natural.
We need to turn the process around and start getting our appetites used to healthy food and healthy living. We need to stop craving for the bad stuff, and we do that by starving that craving, and feeding a healthier desire.
For the parents out there, you need to set an example for your kids. We want them to be disciplined in school and show self-control, so we need to be able to be models of this – even in our diets, especially in our diets.
One great way to start is to know just how gross junk is. Here’s a favorite video I like to show people:
Start starving your craving for junk and start feeding your body healthy things. While it may be a struggle at first, you’ll never regret a healthier you.
Read more on Natural Healthy+
Master Plan
“I felt that we had no right to exist unless we immersed ourselves in the problems of our milieu.”
- Father Masterson
My father told me a little bit about this story over lunch. He heard it from Father Candelaria of the Ateneo on one of his Monday morning meetings with him. The story interested me so much I googled it and found a writeup on the story of the Ateneo’s move from Padre Faura to Katipunan where it now stands. Read about a vision, a plan, and the people who brought it about here. I studied here, and while I can’t say I’m the type that really identifies with my university, I am grateful for the men and women who braved the naysayers and obstacles to prepare something amazing for me and others like me.
I’ll be posting more and more about different articles I find online that are either interesting, edifying, thought-provoking, or a combination of all three.
Is it possible to have a successful career and be in full-time ministry?
is it possible to have a successful career and be in full time ministry (missions)? I’m really confused at the moment. I love serving in the ministry.I want to be in missions, but I also want a career so I can bless my family and I can save.thank you
There are a few misconceptions here. One is that being in missions isn’t like having a career. Another is that you need a career to bless your family. And even another is that you need a career to save. I know people who were full-time missionaries were just as successful in achieving their purpose as business people, these people were also able to bless their family and save. Pastor Steve Murrell would be the best example of this. Not many people know that when he and his wife, Deborah, started in Manila they had nothing and would even watch the taxi meter to make sure they had enough money to pay the fee. When they didn’t have enough, they walked the rest of the way. Another misconception is the idea that some people are or are not in full-time ministry. My dad likes to remind us that we’re all, every day, all the time, in a position to minister to others, so while we’re not career ministers, we are people who serve others by showing God’s love – and we’re called to do this all the time or full-time as some would call it.
What God blesses is not our career choice. He blesses obedience, faith, and faithfulness. Saving is not about career choice either. It’s about discipline, simplicity, and control. If you can’t save with what you have now, chances are you won’t be able to save with a bigger amount. Lastly, blessing one’s family is also not about career choice. It’s about generosity, kindness, and having something stored (from God’s blessing and your saving) to give away.
Hope this helps!
And You Thought You Were Tough
Welcome to Buzkashi, the Afghan national sport. It seems to be a mix of rugby and polo, and topped with Afghan toughness. Believe me, they’re tough. It’s not the kind of rude insecurity you’ll find in many urban metropolises, but more a physical and mental strength cultivated by generations of war.
Here’s something more descriptive…
Of course the toughest of them all is… “click here“
Success According to the Marathon Man
Read an article about Haile Gebrselassie on CNN.com. It’s insightful and inspiring for runners and non-runners alike.
Keep Things Simple by Going Natural
Every night I prepare a fresh batch of Kefir from grains given to me by my good friend Alex Van Hagen. Kefir is basically a fermented milk drink that originated in Caucasus area when they discovered milk they carried turned into a sour drink. Kefir grains form in the fermented milk and brings with it a lot of health benefits including better digestion (which I can vouch for). I’ve added it to my oil-pulling, sports and working out, a lot of drinking water, and a low-volume healthy diet to form a simple and sustainable health lifestyle. I’ve realized that there are a lot of tips and tricks and plans and ideas out there. They’re mostly too complicated for me.
I like to keep things simple. And I suggest you do too, especially if you’re just starting. When something is simple it’s easier to understand, easier to execute, and easier to continue. Keeping our health life simple is many times more effective than the latest fitness or weightless fad.
And what can be more simple than eating fruits and vegetables, and partaking of the things that God Himself planted for us to ingest and enjoy?
Get healthier by simplifying your regimen. Simplify it by going natural.
Read more at Natural Health+
Midnight Thoughts
Brine salts the mango and papaya
Before they enter my mouth
Somewhere a man is dying
Elsewhere a baby is born
For someone, hope has found wings
For another, Icarus falls
The efforts of one are rewarded
Equal valiance remains unpaid
The undeserving take and receive
And leave a bill to be settled
By the wise
By the responsible
By the those who saved
For a rainy day
There is no making sense
When no sense can determine
The depth, the breadth
The logic of love
Your Best Excuse
I spend a significant amount of time giving advice, counseling people, answering questions on things related to business, social work, and values (and the occasional formspring questions on my views on love), and walking other business people on how to think through their endeavors. Helping others bring out and maximize the value of their lives and organizations is something I love doing. I’m privileged that despite my own limitations I can somehow contribute and give back to others the incredible kindness I’ve been shown by people who were busy, or didn’t have to, or who had their own needs, but overflowed with love.
But the reality of consultancy or advice or help is that it’s only worth something if the receiver takes it and applies it faithfully until results are achieved. I don’t know how many times people have told me that they’ve “already tried” a solution, that it didn’t work, that it was bad advice, only to find out they never really persevered, that they gave up too soon, or that they didn’t follow the wisdom at all. This saddens me because I’ve realized that many of us miss out on the success, achievement, joy, and fulfillment available to us simply because of a dangerous idea called Your Best Excuse.
Your best excuse is your self-accepted reason for failure.
It is the traffic jam that made you late.
It’s your dad that was too harsh, so you rebel against authority.
It’s your teacher that embarrassed you, so you have stopped learning.
It’s the inheritance you never received but others did because you were born to a poor family, so you cheat to catch up.
It’s your stupid boyfriend’s fault that your heart’s broken.
It’s your boss’s favoritism, so you’re never promoted.
It’s your constant bad luck, so you’ve stopped trying.
It’s that person who stole from you, or mistreated you, or molested you, so you’ve stopped trusting.
It’s the unjust system we live in, so we might as well give in.
There are many more examples, many more valid reasons to be discouraged, to miss excellence, to stop fighting, to stop trying, to be mediocre, or even to surrender. These realities help us feel a little better about ourselves, even as we yearn for something better because deep inside us our hearts we know THERE IS something greater planned for us. That is the eternity God placed in our hearts – limitless, endless eternity. We can’t completely comprehend it but we feel it calling us.
But instead of focusing our mind on the greatness prepared for us and preparing ourselves body, soul, and spirit to achieve, we use that same mind, and condition the same body, soul, spirit to live limited under Our Best Excuse, as we rationalize our cowardice and laziness – and that’s exactly what it is. We don’t want to be vulnerable because we’ve failed, or have been hurt, or have been frustrated and disappointed, so we cower and get fat in our false comforts, even as we entrench ourselves more and more in the mud of our excuses.
There’s a better life for us, and it involves letting go of Your Best Excuse, letting go of our best reasons, whatever it is, even valid reasons, for living a limited lie and moving against it. If you’ve been hurt, comfort others. If you’ve been stolen from, give generously even if it’s your life that gives others hope. If you’ve been sick, take steps to being healthy. If you’ve been lazy, work. If your heart’s been broken, love, and love unconditionally. If you’ve gone bankrupt, try something else.
Whatever Your Best Excuse is, let go. The lie is not that your excuse is invalid, it is valid, but no matter how valid it is, the lie is that it can contain you – it can’t. You’re called to be greater than that. Your life is more valuable. Your life is worth more than Your Best Excuse.
Make It Big
Every family has its quirks, idiosyncrasies that make our interaction with one another and with others more special and unforgettable. The trick is to celebrate (or to honor) the characteristics that make each one unique instead of resenting the differences. Writing this series has been a wonderful experience for me, not only because of the very positive feedback, but more because I’ve been able to look back at my growing up years with a new, clearer, better perspective, one that helped me appreciate many of the things I took for granted or even felt embarrassed by when I was young. But I’ve learned that whether you’re young looking forward or older in years looking back, we benefit from a heavenly perspective that we receive when look up.
Make It Big
I was running, no, rushing to the bathroom to go on one of my infamous bombing runs, when my dad urgently stopped me,
Pop: David! Where’re you going?
Me: I’m going to poop.
Pop: Alright.
I was turning to run since nature’s call was strong when he called again.
Pop: David!
Me: What?!!
Pop (looking me straight in the eye): Make it big.
And I did. (Much to the frustration of Josh who shared a bathroom with me.)
I still do.
My dad was like that, always thinking big, attempting big, and expecting big. Even my poop had to be big. But that stuck to me. Thinking big I mean, not the poop. That would have been gross.
My Big Imagination
When I was in grade school / lower school I found a most innovative solution to a perennial pain in the butt: homework. I couldn’t get why anyone thought it was a good idea to to wake up at 6am, be at school by 7am, stay until 3 or 4pm, sit in traffic for another hour-long ride home, only to sit down at your desk to do more school work. Between sleep and school alone that’s already about 20 hours. Only 4 hours for play! I can honestly say I don’t remember half the stuff my teachers said. So like I said, I found a solution to what I used to call a “stupid schedule” and it was incredibly easy. I simply decided to ignore my homework entirely and live an imagined homework-less life.
And it worked.
At least for a while.
I would come home, my parents would ask me if I had homework, and I would say, “Nope. None.” They would ask again, “No homework?” “Nope.” “No homework again?” “None.” It didn’t dawn on me that I was lying. I told them there was no homework because there was no homework. In my mind, I had resolved that I would decide whether I had homework or not, not my teachers, and I had chosen not not have any homework – EVER. My teacher would give me my homework, I would say, “No thanks.” and the problem of homework was solved.
Until the parent-teacher conference or the dreaded PTC when the teacher told my parents that I had not done any homework for the whole quarter. My parents confronted me and said…
Pop and Mom: David, you told us you didn’t have any homework.
Me: I didn’t.
Pop and Mom: David. Your teacher said you didn’t do any of your homework.
Me: Because I didn’t have any.
Pop and Mom: David. Your teacher said you had homework.
Me: But I decided I don’t have any. So I don’t.
Pop and Mom: David! You can’t decide that! You have to follow your teacher!
Me: Why???
Pop and Mom: Because she’s your teacher! You have to do your homework when she gives it to you! That’s disobeying, David. And that’s also lying.
Me: But she’s so boring and grumpy because she’s always pregnant!
Pop and Mom: David!!!
I got the rod that afternoon, which I got a few times daily anyway, and my ass was a shade of bright red despite my dark complexion. Now that I’m older I’ve realized that more than just lying to my parents, I was lying to myself, thinking that I could imagine my problems away, and decide to ignore the real world. Instead my parents got me tutors and began an incredibly motivating incentive scheme for our education. I didn’t know it yet but my parents were teaching me an integral lesson every person must learn: you have to LIVE your life not escape it. You have to embrace how you were created and you must enjoy your experiences, but you must also carry your responsibilities and face your issues, knowing that God rewards faithfulness.
Bigger Love
There is a very real feeling of vulnerability when one moves away from his parents. My parents had developed, despite the resource limitations, a home where love was abundant, responsibility was expected, and purpose promoted. It had a safe, welcoming feeling that had more to do with the light my parents radiated then a yellow bulb’s glow. It wasn’t perfect, not even close. There were fights (lots of them involving me), there were heated debates (which Joe always won), there were limbs broken, and hearts as well (ahem ahem), interesting pharmaceutical products, academic concerns, crashed cars, sheriffs forclosing, and even my mom finding a naked guy on my email (back when my mom was new to the term “spam”) among many other things. But no matter how big the problems were my reactionary parents somehow gathered themselves together and presented a bigger love, not some imaginary “everything is fine” attitude (like my homework), but the love of Christ that forgives, and joyfully sacrifices, a love that covers a multitude of sin.
That’s an environment I’d like to recreate for my own family someday.
Someday I will have little curly-haired Davids running around and, if they’re anything like their father, their energy and their curiosity will land them in many “interesting” places and circumstances. But there will be a bigger love for them, the same bigger-than-us love now available to you and me.
The 5 Habits of Quality-Focused Companies
Being in the business of building and repairing businesses, I thought this simple article would be helpful to many of you interested in restructuring into a more focused enterprise.
Hermana Mayor
The sun rises above infinite cotton clouds
Spreading its light on this blessed land
Watching the soft roll of waves,
Listening to its gentle sound,
It is a moment to appreciate all other moments
That makeup our grand finiteness
Who knows what violent rumble underneath
Pushed this rock a little higher than the sea
Who knows when the first seed planted
Grew and thickened into a tree
But by our Creator’s design
Nature persevered,
Labored not in vain,
To gift us the sublime
Lay A Foundation Of Health
Before anything else, Happy New Year! This first month of the year has been a time of recalibration and setting of priorities for Natural Health+. Among the new things we’re bringing in this 2011 is a line of certified organic from the land of Ayurveda: India. This is an exciting range with the best teas and natural supplements I’ve tried. As many of you know, Ayurveda is the oldest health system. Practitioners of Ayurveda have been refining this thing for centuries.
To start this year off, I’d like to encourage you to lay a foundation of health for yourself. Being healthy opens up many opportunities to experience new things. Some of you have probably wondered what it feels like to run a marathon, or climb a mountain, or go sailing, or even have the energy to complete the day. The good news is these are all within your reach. Here are some tips to help you lay a foundation of health for 2011 and for the rest of your life:
1. Start today. Don’t put this off. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t be complacent. Don’t worry about whether you’re ready. Just start. Many times the first step is the most difficult, so get that out of the way by beginning your healthy life right now. How? When you have your next meal skip the high sugar drinks, don’t overeat, and stay away from processed food. But don’t start tomorrow or next week. Start right now.
2. Start small. I wrote an article on my blog davidbonifacio.com about How to Eat an Elephant. I wrote about how big things can be achieved through small increments. We all like to make grand resolutions and buy a lot of equipment, but instead I suggest that you start as small as possible and build your way up.
3. Start with someone. It’s no secret that working together with others helps keep us accountable and motivated. Find someone who is also willing to commit to laying their own healthy foundation
4. Start learning. You don’t have to know everything to start. No one ever does. Start by reading our articles, asking us questions, or buying a book on health. There’s nothing wrong with not knowing, but there’s no reason why we can’t enlighten ourselves.
I myself have decided to prepare more of my meals instead of always eating out. Slowly I’m equipping my kitchen and looking up recipes. Someday I’ll have more things and eating healthy home-prepared meals will be second nature. In the meantime, like you hopefully, I’m taking small steps to lay down a foundation of health.
For similar articles visit us at Natural Health+
How to Eat an Elephant
There’s a strong breeze blowing my hair in all directions as I sit here typing this. I forgot to bring cooking stuff and food, so I’m sustained by a jar of chunky peanut butter, boysenberry Yoplait, and milk straight from the carton for dinner. It’s times like these that I realize I need someone – someone like Cording, our family’s incredible cook when I was growing up.
Earlier, I went sailing in not-exactly-sunny weather. Sailing is always a nice way to escape and think (though my forehead still hurts from the hit I took from a wrong tack that knocked me completely off the boat).
I’ve taken off for the next few days to bike, sail, rest, and reflect, to thank God for a wonderful 2010, and to prepare for 2011. This end-of-year / start-of-year practice is something I’ve been doing for a long time now, first with my family as a child, now own my own, and it’s something I intend to continue with my own wife and children.
Resolutions and Goals
Many of you are also probably going to do the same and work on ever-popular-but-usually-doomed-to-fail New Year’s resolutions, life goals, or faith goals. And many times, the things we write come up to nothing more than a depressing list of unfulfilled dreams. Remember that our nicest ideas and greatest intentions are worth very little if never realized. The reason why I think this happens is because we’ve forgotten the definition of two important words: resolution and goal.
A resolution is something we have “resolved” to accomplish which means it is something we have non-negotiably decided to achieve.
A goal is a target we are aiming for, and just like with shooting, the trick is to focus all your actions to concentrate on hitting whatever it is you’ve set your sites on, and of course, you have to fire. You can’t just aim forever.
So as you work on your resolutions and goals keep these two words in mind. Decide on what you non-negotiably intend to achieve and focus your sites.
A Foundation of Values
Another common mistake people make when writing their resolutions and goals is that they actually make “wish lists” which end up becoming “might-do lists” or a list of things we hope to accomplish given all the factors line up – which rarely happens. The whole “wish list” effect happens because we usually cook up our lists this way:
1. We ask ourselves or someone asks a guide question such as: How do you see your 2011? Picture what 2011 looks like, what do you see?”
2. We then proceed to think about and imagine what 2011 looks like.
3. Then we write it down.
The flaw in this approach is that while vision is a very powerful thing (how we picture things is many times the map our life follows), our minds and imaginations can play tricks on us and might lead us to two possible resolutions:
• Unrealistic, unrelated, defocused, and unachievable resolutions
• Fearful, limited, uncreative, and uninspiring resolutions.
Either way, we will most probably fail to see our resolutions fulfilled.
Instead, start with VALUES before vision. Start with what’s most important to you and work your way down. Depending on what’s important to you, you can now picture or vision-cast how you’d like those important things to look like.
Knowing what’s really important helps you focus on the essentials of your life, not the nice distractions – and the best distractions are always nice. It’s that lady in a red dress as the Matrix pointed out.
Knowing what’s really important also keeps you motivated because you know that each step you take is a step closer to something or someone you treasure. Striving for things we don’t value is drudgery. Living, even sacrificing our life, for something we value is satisfying.
Most of all, knowing what’s really important assures us that when we do achieve our resolutions and goals we will be met with the fulfilling feeling of attaining things of worth, not the disappointment of realizing you put all that effort for empty treasures.
How to Eat an Elephant
There’s only one way to eat a pachyderm (or anything for that matter). Chop it up into small pieces and eat it piece by piece. (If you’re a smart ass and don’t like the idea of elephant sashimi, chop it up, cook it, and then eat it.)
My point is: work in manageable increments.
Even as I try to stay a realist, I like to encourage people to dream as big as they can, but of course, based on what they value. As it’s been said, dreaming is free so dream big. But to achieve our grand resolutions and dreams and goals and hopes, we have to break things up into things we can handle such as daily tasks that can form a routine, events on our calendar, little contributions to our savings account, or even setting a date night with each kid. Our incredible elephant-like dreams become achievable when we break them down into daily action items, knowing that someday they will all add up to dreams come true.
Remember this: no one is born a success or a failure. We either become a success or a failure depending on the little increments we add to our life. Successful people, people who achieve what they set out to do, are those who, through discipline, focus, and perseverance, little by little move closer to their goals.
Failures are also produced incrementally. It’s one decision to be lazy, plus another moment of procrastination. It’s the trading of uncomfortable necessities (such as exercise and hard work) for initially more fun and more comfortable activities (such as entertainment and self-indulgence). It’s taking the small shortcuts we think will get us ahead but really leads us nowhere. Before we know it the increments have added up and we’re “fat” with baggage we never wanted.
The good news is we can stop at whatever point we’re at, and begin taking the little increments to a better life.
If you want to lose weight, start by subtracting something from your diet. If you want to gain weight, add something. If you want to discipline yourself to read the Bible everyday, start by reading one verse, and just add to it as it reveals itself to you – and it will. If you want to be kinder, start by deciding to do one act of kindness each week, if that’s too much, do once a month. If you want to be more productive, start by setting aside one hour to work without distractions. Whatever it is just start, and start in small manageable pieces.
The Righteous Shall Live by Faith
If I were to describe 2010, I would describe it as the year of “running to God”. This year I moved out of my parents’ home, worked on the businesses Issho Genki (Squalene) and naturalhealth.ph+ (natural health products), AXIO (online services), and Emergy (emerging markets business development), continued to serve the foundations Real LIFE (education), Habitat for Humanity (housing), and CCT (microfinance), and somehow managed to keep painting, reading, playing my sports, and of course, writing. I wish I set aside more time for piano and sailing, which I intend to do next year, but we can only do so much. How I was able to survive this year I can only point to God. I can’t say I always had the money, many times I didn’t. I can’t say I had the strength. This year was so busy and tiring that I lost about 15lbs! I can’t say I knew all the answers. I’ve never had so many unanswered questions and requests in my life. All I had, all I have, is a faithful Father, and my eyes start to tear as I write this, that embraced me with love through every lonely night, that met me with acceptance and forgiveness after every sin, that made a way for me despite every closed door.
I add this part to remind you of one last thing as I conclude, one last word: FAITH. Through all your value-mapping, vision-casting, and breaking down into manageable action points remember that you have a Father who knows the desires of your heart, who sees and rewards your efforts, and who’s desire is that you live fulfilled in relationship with him.
So how do you eat an elephant? Take it on in faith.
Bonifacio Christmas Blogs
A Most Memorable Sermon
The most memorable chapel message I ever heard was one on Christmas. I don’t remember much about the actual preaching but I can’t forget when the pastor, while bashing Santa Claus, said, “Christmas is not about a big fat man with a white bird!”
I learned a lesson that day, among the unstoppable laughter, teachers trying to keep students quiet, and my friend Zach jokingly asking me, “How does he know?? How does he know???” – Never EVER mispronounce the word BEARD as BIRD.
In the spirit of Christmas, here are some Christmas blogs written by my family.
1. I Miss My Boys, Lord by Joey Bonifacio (this is on Facebook)
My dad’s thoughts on his boys growing up.
2. Mom’s Christmas Thoughts 1: Attention: Santa Clause
3. Mom’s Christmas Thoughts 2: No Lysol at the Stable
4. Joe’s Married Christmas
5. My Brothers Bonifacio 2010 Christmas Post: The Essentials
Merry Christmas everyone!
Morning Walk
Warm sun, cool wind
Soft grass, tall trees
The young and old pass by
Another Tuesday morning
Heart beats, time turns
Eyes observe, mind seeks
The answers and discov’ries appear
Providence once more calling
The Essentials
“But even as we downscaled what Christmas was to me, God was setting up a backdrop for one the greatest lessons I would ever learn. He had to remove the trappings, the traps we fall into, that distract us from Him.”
- The Light and the Life
Sitting on my couch in a bare living room, I can’t help but notice the contrast between the ornamented Christmas of my childhood and the financially necessitated minimalism of my holidays today. There’s no tree, not the big fake one with Joe’s POJ (piece of junk) hanging nor the fresh evergreen that smells of fresh pine. There are no Christmas books stacked on tables and lining walls. The little ceramic houses of my dad’s Christmas village are absent. And our framed 1000 piece puzzle of Biloski isn’t on the wall above my cherished piano. There’s a lot that’s not here.
All I have in my Christmas arsenal is a wreath and 5 candles.
Sometimes, when I talk this way, people think it’s because I’m too lazy to decorate or too frugal, that I’m just pretending to lack funds. But nothing can be further from the truth. Between mortgage payments, utilities, food, transportation, communications, the startup projects, and the fix-up companies, there’s really not a lot of money to spend.
And it’s with this plain frill-less holiday stage that I write this.
The Snoop
I was a snoop growing up. I knew where everything was. (Unlike today, when I can’t seem to find anything.) I knew what my gifts were, where they were hidden, who was giving what. Christmas was one giant treasure hunt for me. The “ber” months would hit and I would take my toy rifle, my slingshot, and a flashlight. Hunting season had arrived. If I wasn’t pleased with my discoveries I’d find a way to let these ignorant gift givers know exactly what I wanted and that I wouldn’t be happy with anything else. If the day’s rummaging yielded pleasing results, I could rollout my sleeping bag beside our Christmas tree in the living room and rest content with my weapons, safely under a sentry of armed GI Joes strategically placed to shoot would-be predators.
1993 was the year a black hooded Cobra Commander came out. I wanted Cobra Commander and I subtly let Josh know this.
A few days before Christmas a few gifts that looked like wrapped GI Joes were placed under the tree. When the coast was clear I walked over to the tree, took the gift that had my name on it, and carefully unwrapped it.
It was love at first sight.
“Cobra Commander!!!” I mouthed an inaudible shout.
I quickly got a hold of myself, wrapped everything, and returned the gift like it had never been moved. Christmas was going to be good.
I can’t begin to describe how hard it was to wait for Christmas Eve when we would be opening presents and I would be united with my wrapped love. I guess it would be similar to when Joe was waiting for his honeymoon but a little more intense.
When Christmas did arrive, and was allowed to open my gifts, I grabbed Cobra Commander and frantically freed him…
… only to find that I wasn’t holding Cobra Commander. In my hands was an orange Night Creeper Leader.
“Cobra Commander! I got Cobra Commander!!!”, an excited Joseph started jumping around and shouting.
I wasn’t allowed to say bad words (our mouths got soaped when we did) but if I were I would probably have said “WTF?”
“What did you get?” Joseph asked me.
“Night Creeper Leader…” I said disappointedly.
“He’s cool too.” Positive Joe responded.
“As cool as a butt.” I thought to myself.
I don’t know what happened, but some reason Josh switched the cards on the presents. He didn’t know anything on GI Joes. A Joe was a Joe to him. He would never have understood that Night Creeper Leader is no way near as cool as Cobra Commander.
Of course I couldn’t complain then. I didn’t want anyone finding out I had been snooping around. It was only after years of therapy did I finally tell this story.
The Essentials
Something is essential to us when it is something we cannot do without. Many times we miss out on these important things because we’re distracted. The word distraction means “the pulling away of the mind”. Sometimes it’s our fears that pull us away from the essential things, sometimes it’s our expectations, sometimes it’s our responsibilities, and even sometimes it’s our hurt and disappointments. There are so many things that are “pulling our mind away” from the essentials.
Going back to my Cobra Commander story, I remember the disappointment I felt holding his “GI JOKE”. It didn’t matter that we had just had a feast. It didn’t matter that I had a family to celebrate with. It didn’t matter that it was Jesus’ birthday.
All that mattered was that I didn’t get Cobra Commander, and worse, someone else did.
Sometimes, when I don’t get what I want or think I deserve I still react the same way. “Why God? Why is life so unfair? I thought you said I’d be blessed? Why can they enjoy that and I can’t?” And like that 9-yr. old boy, I forget that I’m free, that I have hope, that I’m loved, and I disregard every other blessing Christmas represents because I didn’t get this year’s version of Cobra Commander.
So I go back and remind myself that I already have the best thing, and I remind myself of the essentials, the things that a true Christmas cannot be without such as Jesus, love, relationships, giving, hope…
… and of course, a reminder of that lesson from Cobra Commander.
God in a Box
Hi David. I’ve been praying for this particular job and I believe that God can help me get it so I’m not applying for other positions. Now I’m thinking if this is what He wants for me or there might be another job for me but I just haven’t considered it.
I think it’s great that you’re believing for this job and practicing faith. Having said that one thing I’ve learned from a life of not getting what I want (because I’m a guy who likes to get what he wants), sometimes God disappoints us for two reasons:
1. To develop our character to be able to handle whatever He’s bringing.
2. Because He has something much greater than our own expectation or hope.
Even as you believe for this specific position keep your heart open to the different things God has planned for you. Don’t box the One who imagined the universe into the universe you’ve imagined for yourself.
Ask your own question at: http://www.formspring.me/dbonifacio
Revelation 4:11
“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they were created
and have their being.”
There is a Harvest
Today, I was back at the Real LIFE Foundation’s feeding program to spend time with the older kids in our weekly small group. I’ve been absent the past few weeks because of all the work and meetings this yearend quarter has loaded. To give you an idea, just this week, aside from all the regular work activities related to Issho Genki, naturalhealth.ph, Emergy (the consultancy and management company) and AXIO (the web development company), I’ve had a Christmas event every night, 2 TV interviews for Habitat for Humanity’s Umagang Kay Ganda feature (which was at 5am!), a race that was also for Habitat, the Real LIFE feeding program, as well as squeezing in some time to shop for gifts. I have to say, I’m especially excited about naturalhealth.ph’s upcoming articles covering natural adventures and natural exercises. It’s growing so fast and it’s contributing more and more to my already long list of things to do.
I was a bit worried coming into today’s time with the guys. I was hoping they would understand and not feel like I take them for granted – which I don’t. Even when I’m not with them I pray for them, that God would touch them and teach them His ways, and that they would grow in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man. I pray for them because I know that given my limitations, the shortness of my “goodness”, and constraints, that I can’t give them what they need – but God can, and just like with everything else that’s good and bad about my life, I run to God and take it to Him. I always wonder if anything I say or do really sinks in, or if they’re only after the fries.
But God has a way of answering our undeserving prayers, and today while talking to the kids about the same verse I shared with my Issho Genki staff last night, Galatians 6:9, I was reminded that there is a harvest waiting for those who persevere.
During our conversation, the kids started talking about many of the Real LIFE volunteers they’ve met in the past year and a half, and they started saying that they saw this or that person on TV, that this person is now famous and rich, and really how people are moving on and being promoted in life. Then one of them said, “Ikaw lang hindi sumikat, kuya David.” (“You’re the only one who didn’t become famous.”) I don’t really care about fame (all that ever did for anyone was load them with crazy expectations), but for a second I thought, “Yeah, he’s right.” But before my mind could dwell on what I’m missing, God, through this kid, encouraged me, “Wag ka mag alala, kuya David. Sikat ka sa puso naming.” (“Don’t worry. You’re famous in our hearts.”) And I again I was humbled for even thinking for a moment that I was deprived. What a privilege it is to contribute to the lives of others and what a blessing to know that the message is getting through.
There is a harvest. There is a reward for us and it may not be what we expect. Maybe it’s not the recognition or promotion we deserve. Maybe it’s not the home of our dreams. Maybe it’s not the security of a fortress balance sheet. Maybe it’s not the boy or girl of your dreams. Maybe it’s not what you thought you always wanted but you’ll find that it’s something more.
God’s harvest will always fulfill us, as it either answers our hearts desire or transforms our heart to desire His will. I can’t tell you what, or how, or when, I can only encourage you with the same three words I told the kids earlier: Don’t Give Up.
Big Reminders with a Big Breakfast
Remember to Give
I’m sitting in a corner Mc Donald’s somewhere in Taytay. I’m having a not-at-all healthy breakfast and killing time here with my faithful driver, Non, before I head back to work. I haven’t eaten in McDonalds in a while. Don’t plan to come back anytime soon. My body is so used to healthier things that eating junk doesn’t appeal to me anymore.
Very early this morning, before the sun was up, I had gone to the Habitat for Humanity site in Pasig 2 for a home turnover that was featured on Umagang Kay Ganda (which happens to be the show of my sister-in-law, Carla). We’re building 416 homes in partnership with the city government of Pasig for families living in disaster risk areas, particularly those living beside the infamous Pasig River. Housing is an incredibly serious issue in the Philippines and its social impact is felt even more in urban settings. The home deficit is about 3-4,000,000, and I believe that’s only in an urban setting. That’s not hard to believe when you take into account that Metro Manila has 12,000,000 people and the whole Philippines has a population of 97,000,000.
That’s a lot of people.
Shelter is more than just building a shell, it’s about security and dignity, and part of bringing security and dignity is connecting with groups that can bring in other home necessities such as running water, sewage, electricity, livelihood, values formation, and other similar soft programs.
It’s really a huge effort. But it’s also very rewarding, which is why I don’t hesitate to invite, people to join our builds, donate their idle land, contribute in cash, or find some other creative way to take part in Habitat for Humanity or my other favorite, Real LIFE.
Don’t wait until you have more. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Don’t wait until someone’s looking. Don’t wait until you’re perfect. Don’t wait until you figure it out. Just give.
Remember to Let Go
Last night, the Real LIFE team had a thank you dinner at Tina Pamintuan’s restaurant L’incontro for Dr. Joey Castro. Doc, as we all call him, is the founder of the Real LIFE Foundation but is moving to Brunei to do ministry there.
I would count Doc to be one of most influential men in my life and I thank God for Him. I couldn’t ask for a better first boss (though he would say I did the bossing around). While many young graduates are mentored in finance, administration, sales, marketing, and other business functions, what I got was a first hand lesson in value. It was during my time with Doc at Real LIFE that I understood that more than programs and superstructures it is people that are most valuable.
I’d be the first to admit we didn’t know anything about scholarship programs, much less about building a foundation. But we saw the need and knew someone had to fill it, even if we were only going to fill it with faith. Looking at what Lynn, Sony, Rhia, Ariel and Vince are achieving at Real LIFE, I’m so grateful to God that despite our limitations when we started he honored us by blessing this work and entrusting it to capable stewards.
True to form, Doc Joey had no problems with handing over the foundation. I remember talking to him about his plans to go to Brunei and asking him how he felt about where the foundation was going, and I remember him telling me, “David, Real LIFE has reached levels beyond my wildest dreams. I know this team can take it further than we could have ever taken it.” I was amazed at how he had no ego, no founder’s complex, no entitlements, just a pure heart that knew when to let go.
More and more I’m realizing that just as important as taking something and making it better, is being able to let go and release something or someone into something greater.
Remember to be Childlike
I watch the kids just outside the glass panes playing on a dusty sidewalk. I can’t tell what they’re doing. To me, it seems all they’re doing is playing with dirt, and I remember a time when I used to make mud pies in our backyard and, like these kids, I would be having the time of my life. I didn’t need a buffer of three months worth of living expenses. I didn’t need a title, or a position, or to prove myself. I didn’t need to live up to anyone’s expectations.
I was just playing with mud and I was having a lot of fun.
I’m reminded of something Seth Godin wrote about staying childlike (versus being childish):
“Childlike makes a great scientist.
Childish produces tantrums.
Childlike brings fresh eyes to marketing opportunities.
Childish rarely shows up as promised.
Childlike is fearless and powerful and willing to fail.
Childish is annoying.
Childlike inquires with a pure heart.
Childish is merely ignored.”
As I end my thoughts and my time in McDonalds, I signal to Non to get the car. I’ll have to switch my mind back to work, but let me leave you with this:
Remember to give for it is in giving that we receive. Remember to let go for it is in releasing that others can fly. And remember to be like a child, always curious, always fearless, and always discovering.
His Parents Don’t Approve of Me
I’ve been getting a lot of questions on my Formspring that I’ve actually answered more than a thousand questions already. I’ll be posting some of my answers to your questions here under the “Ask David” category hoping that maybe my opinion might help others.
His Parents Don’t Approve of Me
“My boyfriend’ parents do not approve of me. Is that enough reason for us to separate?
I don’t understand why people ask me relationship questions. It’s one area in my life that I have no proof to show expertise in whatsoever. Whenever I think through my answers to these type of questions, I realize that it goes back to my whole value-oriented thinking which is basically, when making a decision, look at what’s most important to you and make the decision that brings you closer to that which you value.
Of course this becomes a problem with our values are skewed or wrong or negotiable, but that’ another post.
So Juliet, the answer to your question is another question thrown back at you: What is it you value most? I’m going to guess that the answer is “I don’t know.” so the better question is: What or who should you value most?
That’s something only you can answer.
Here are some considerations I suggest you look at:
1. History – So many people throw away old and established relationships when a new more exciting one comes along. If your parents don’t approve, there’s probably a reason why. Listen to their points without needing to defend yourself, at the very least you’ll learn what you need to work on to gain their approval. Remember that parents are a mix of hopes and fears for their kids and sometimes these things seem to irritatingly stifle, but beneath all of this is usually (hopefully) love.
2. Readiness to lay your life down – No one is ever really ready for the things they have to face. There’s always a surprise out there. But at the very least, when embarking on something as crazy as a relationship, you have to be ready to be responsible – willing and able to respond to the needs of your partner. If you’re not ready, or if he’s not ready, it’s probably not going to work. I’m not saying you have to know the future, have all the money you need, or be done with college. I’m saying you have to be willing and able to do whatever it takes to make it work. That’s easy to say but terribly hard to do in real life. Whatever it takes can mean anything from waking up in the middle of the night, working extra to pay the bills, swallowing your pride to keep the peace, and/or even taking care of a sick partner. Loving someone includes the beautiful emotions, but it also includes the equally beautiful laying down of life. That’s the best way to prove your love to that person and to others.
Of course you might wake one day realizing that you laid your life down for a complete jerk. So don’t jump in.
3. Ask God – Bring to God your questions and requests. He always answers. Maybe not in the way we always want, but it’s always in a way that’s best. There are no formulas to life and love, no fool-proof steps to achieving our dreams. But there’s faith and grace, provided by God to take us to where He wants to take us, to help us do what He wants us to do, and to build beautiful relationships with who He wants us to be with.
If you’re worried you’re going to make the wrong decision, don’t second guess yourself. Chances are you’re making the wrong choice. But if you’re sure, be firm in your decision.
For God So Loved…
Last week I wrote an article on Naturalhealth.ph about preparing for Christmas. In the article I talked about how we need to prepare our hearts, minds, spirit, and body for the season so that we don’t miss its essence – which is not hard to do given the grandness of the festivities. You can read the full article here.
One great way of preparing yourself, your family, and your friends for Christmas is by practicing a tradition known as the Advent Wreath. You can read more about the Advent Wreath online but basically it is traditionally a time of preparation for Christmas.
Traditions are important to helping us remember the essence of what we are celebrating. They’re also great for sharing with others and enjoying together. Most of all, traditions help us pass on to a new generation the ideas, stories, and values of the occasion.
The Advent Wreath is a tradition my family has been practicing for years, since I was a kid, and this year I decided to begin celebrating it my own home now that I’ve moved out. I wanted to share and pass on to others what I enjoyed growing up.
Last Thursday, December 2, I invited some friends over to my apartment for after-dinner snacks and to kick-off our Advent preparation. For the next 4 weeks we would be sharing on a new concept to prepare our hearts for Christmas.
I’ll be posting the titles and themes here just in case you would like to celebrate this with your own families.
Week 1: For God so loved the world…
Gold Candle: Value
Text: John 3:16
Here we talked about God’s motivation for sending Jesus: His love for us. That God values us so much that He paid with His own son to purchase us. This whole story is a value story. A story of a God who shopped through His creation and chose us to be most valuable to Him. This is an awesome idea that I can’t comprehend. I am incredibly grateful for this truth though. This is the starting point of Christmas: God’s love. That He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to save us.
I wrote a post saying that when it comes to relationships and love, it’s not about what we deserve but about who we choose. This is clearly displayed in God’s love for us. We don’t deserve His goodness and He deserves better than our unfaithfulness. But He chose us, and He has made a way for us to be with Him, and because of Jesus we are redeemed. Even as I type this my heart is overwhelmed by repentance and gratitude. Repentant because I really don’t make the cut – not in even close. Grateful that I have a Father who doesn’t treat me as my sins deserve and whose love doesn’t change depending on my output. For God so loved the world that He chose me and you, and paid for us with His Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish.
Honey & The Art of Eating Properly
This week is Honey Week. There’s no official holiday for honey but we just wanted to feature an incredible natural ingredient that’s yummy to eat and very beneficial. It’s great for the skin, it’s nutritious, it’s really very versatile. Some products that include honey are the following:
1. Jurlique Daily Exfoliation Cream
2. Naturalhealth.ph Natural Honey
3. Naturalhealth.ph Concoction
4. Heaven’s Cure Strawberry and Lemon Mint Lip Balm
Grab some honey and enjoy it’s benefits!
I saw this earlier and wanted to share this with you:
“We all basically know WHAT to eat, but we rarely hear about HOW to eat. So, I’ve come up with a few fun Questions and Answers based on Ayurveda Nutrition to see how much we all know about HOW to properly eat. Here it is!” Read more…
Naturalhealth.ph will be launching a wonderful Ayurveda line next year. It’s a great system to stay healthy. Wait for it.
David
Be Healthy – Naturally!
naturalhealth.ph
1 John 4:7 – 21
God’s Love and Ours
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Come What May
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I’ve never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day Im loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there’s no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Preparing for Christmas
Christmas starts early in the Philippines – like September early. We don’t even wait for Halloween to finish and we’re already gearing up for December. Proof of this is the not-so-subtle introduction of Christmas music inside malls.
As we enter the 2010 Christmas season I’d like to encourage you to prepare properly. Just as it’s important to stretch before working out, or to carbo-load before a long race, it is also important that we prepare ourselves for the holidays. Here are some suggestions on how you, your family, and your friends can prepare:
Prepare Your Spirit
Let’s not forget that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus Christ’s birthday. It’s sad that we forget this sometimes. It’s like attending someone’s birthday party, eating the food, playing the games, and going home with a goodie-bag without even greeting the celebrant. Let’s not forget the reason for the season. Let’s prepare our spirit in prayer and reflection; remembering that very famous song’s words “Man will live forevermore because of Christmas day.”
Prepare Your Heart
Your heart is all about the things you love and desire. Prepare your heart by checking your values and making sure you don’t get caught up in the trimmings, and trappings, and hustle, and bustle. The best way to prepare your heart is to make it your goal to give generously this Christmas. Think about how you can be a blessing to someone else. If you’re like me and don’t have much to spend, you can be more practical and spend time with someone, or give a friend a call, or participate in an outreach as a group. Be creative, be sincere, be open, and enjoy the fulfillment that comes with giving.
Prepare Your Mind
Christmas is a time when our minds seem to get overloaded with a million things going through it. Prepare your mind by focusing on your tasks, completing them right away, and not being complacent. This allows you to be efficient and opens up time for you to enjoy the Holidays. Prioritize your activities, schedule them wisely, and learn to let go of work when enjoying the festivities. This is something I need to learn to do myself.
Prepare Your Body
I’ve already heard a lot of people say, “I’m so fat already, and Christmas is only beginning.” I always find it funny because here’s someone admitting that they’re now living in a body they’re not happy with but they’re already expecting the situation to get worse. Instead of worrying, do something. Just because the holidays are busy doesn’t mean you can’t make time to exercise. Just because you’re invited to a hundred parties doesn’t mean you have to show up for each one, drink in each one, eat in each one, and stay late in each one. You don’t have to try the lechon or the turkey everywhere you go. You can actually say a very simple but powerful word, “NO!” Prepare your body by scheduling workout days in advance and deciding not to stuff yourself. Try to get as much rest as you can because for sure things will be busy.
Start Your Own Traditions
The word tradition means to “hand down” or “to surrender” to another generation. Christmas is full of traditions passed on to us by our parents, our parents’ parents and so on. Traditions are a great way for people to experience the essence of Christmas. My encouragement for you is to start your own traditions that share to others, especially your families, the values that you stand for. Make these values come alive with an activity. Make it fun and educational. Most of all make the reason, Jesus Christ, the center of your tradition.
I know it’s too early so I won’t wish you a merry Christmas yet. Instead, my prayer for you is that you prepare your spirit, heart, mind, and body, and that you enjoy each day as we move closer to Christmas.
David Bonifacio
Naturalhealth.ph
Be Healthy – Naturally
Beautifully Unfair
Burning the Midnight Oil
It’s 1:56am in the morning, and I really should be getting ready for bed. There’s just too much to finish before the week ends. Besides, even if I did try to sleep I wouldn’t be able to. My brain would stay wide awake thinking of how to make things work.
I’m taking a break to write this before I start reading the notes for tomorrow’s Habitat for Humanity executive committee meeting. I serve on the national board of Habitat for Humanity and chair the membership committee. Next year, we’ll be rolling out some membership programs to get more people involved. I’d really appreciate if all of you would come support us. You can even get involved now by scheduling to build some homes with your friends at one of our sites. Email us at info@habitat.org.ph for more information.
Before this I was checking the analytics of my sites and I’m quite pleased with the performance of this blog (davidbonifacio.com) and naturalhealth.ph. We will be launching our new store soon which includes our new Cash on Delivery (COD) service for people who don’t have or don’t want to use their credit cards. So you can now order online, we put your order together, deliver the products to you and collect the payment. It’s just another way we’re adding to help make naturally healthy living more convenient and accessible to more people. Christmas is coming up fast, and if you’re like me with so much to do on a daily basis, I really like this option of being able to give healthy presents without the hassle of traffic.
Anyway, like I said, I’m using this break to write.
The Real Life of Real LIFE
Some of you have probably already seen this month’s issue of Metro Society that features Lynn Nawata and I, and the work of Real LIFE. I’m very grateful to the people at the magazine for the media exposure the foundation received. I was able to read the article and, like in almost every feature of me, I felt like I needed to clarify a few things. When I clarify this way it’s only because I don’t ever want people to think that it’s about personal publicity or getting people’s respect. It’s not. I actually cringe sometimes when I read what people write about me. It’s the same cringing feeling I get when I read some of your questions on formspring. The motivation for Lynn and I to participate in these interviews is to raise awareness for Real LIFE and to encourage people to take part in giving to LIFE. Just so that I can sleep knowing you get the right message here are my clarifications:
1. It is all by God’s grace – I don’t say this in a religious way or as a cliche’ Christian expression but as someone who has taken stock of his own capabilities and knows he is wanting. It’s easy to look good in an article – simply because they take the good stuff about you and add-on other good stuff that may or may not really be you. Hehe. But if you were to follow me 24/7 there’s really no way you’d be impressed. No way. But by God’s grace we are included in something greater than ourselves. By God’s grace we are able to participate in the work of serving others.
2. Things are achieved by teams of people in the trenches – When I look at the success of organizations and efforts I have been a part of, I can never say that it succeeded because of me. I actually sometimes wonder why I was included in the first place. The credit belongs to the people in the trenches, unsung, under-appreciated, but directly facing the many different broken situations of society. A perfect example of this is Dr. Joey Castro who quietly served students in Pasig. His work would grow into Real LIFE, and we’re excited to now have Vince Bitana and Ariel Domingo blazing new trails in our programs division. Doc, Vince, and Ariel (along with the rest of the team) have visited home after home and directly invest their lives into the lives of students. Their work is tedious and unglamorous but the impact is great – even if the media will never pick their story up.
3. There is no value in being the popular member of a losing team – Every time I see an article featuring me, I am reminded of the scenes I’m greeted when I go through our city: the homeless sprawled on sidewalks, naked babies, exploited children, corrupt cops waiting to pounce, and just broken people existing without any knowledge of their value. I really cringe at the thought that I’m being recognized as a star player in a losing team. Because even as we trump up the good that we’ve done, there are more people who need homes, more students needing to be educated, more values needing to be taught, and it’s growing at a faster rate than our successes. Even as we pat ourselves on the back are problems are getting worse.
There is no value in being the star player of a losing team. There is value in winning, and by winning I mean fixing the brokenness and restoring societies relationships. That can only be achieved collaboratively and multi-generationally, which means it’s not about having star players. It’s about everyone getting involved.
Buying Fake
In a culture like ours that worships celebrities, it’s easy to understand why people would be attracted to someone who chooses to live a remarkably different life. But don’t be easily impressed when other people put other people on pedestals. Society has never been good at assigning the right value to things.
Think about it.
We go crazy over actors, people whose job is to pretend, and we take for granted the people who do the actual work. We’re willing to pay more to watch an action star pretend to dodge pretend-bad guys shoot pretend-bullets at him. We’re so impressed that we drink what he’s drinking, we wear what he’s wearing, and we drive what he’s driving. We let our preferences, what we think is worth something, be defined by pretenders.
And what about our real soldiers who face real enemies and are hit with real bullets? Underpaid, under-appreciated, and unknown. I’m very grateful that my parents didn’t allow us to watch TV as kids. Growing-up our heroes were leaders like George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Churchill, of course Andres Bonifacio, generals like Patton and l McArthur, scientists like Edison and Einstein, and renaissance men Davinci and Michaelangelo. We grew up looking up to martyrs and our namesakes, and that’s why our paradigm is so different, because we were taught to admire people who were excellent in who they really were and what they really did. No make-up, no lights, no takes, just real life.
Here’s another thing to think about.
Why do so many women feel a need to be a complete woman of beauty brains and a great body? Even if you had all three there’s still so much missing. What about kindness? What about humility? What about wisdom? What about a craft? What about your story? What about the thousands of small and big things that make a person unique?
As I type these, I ask myself these questions, because I can be just as shallow as the shallowest Hal. I don’t want to be a pretender on a magazine, which is why I stay involved. I want to use this post to pass the credit on to the people who deserve it.
Beautifully Unfair
When I think about these things, I realize how shallow I am. I realize how dumb I am for wanting the acceptance of a society that can’t really tell what real valuable things are. Sometimes I start feeling down when I realize how crazy our value-systems are, and I ask myself “Isn’t it unfair that some people get the credit and the people doing the real work don’t?” And the answer is YES. If you’re looking at yourself and to the world for recognition, and no one recognizes your value, YES, you’ll always feel that the situation is unfair.
But then I’m reminded, and I realize it’s not so bad, it’s actually great, because if you’re looking up to a Father who sees everything, even the things that disqualify us, and still He includes us in His blessings, then the answer is still YES, it’s unfair. It’s unfair that we get what we don’t deserve. Besides, to rest in His love is to know that no injustice will defeat you. This is something I wrestle with a lot.
But I’m not complaining. Because now I see things as beautifully unfair. Beautifully unfair in our favor. It’s our role to take that and help the least and greatest of us realize that life is beautifully unfair in their favor too.
Fall In Love
Last Saturday, I went to the Salcedo market in Makati to have a look at the different natural products available there. If you haven’t been to the Salcedo, Legazpi, and the recently just opened Mercato Centrale at the Fort, you have to visit. It’s a great way to spend your weekends with your family. I like going because of the passion the sellers have for their items. These people are in love with the things they’re selling.
I like that. I like that because I really can’t sell. But when I fall in love with something I naturally become its evangelist.
There’s something contagious about love, something attractive about someone who is so passionate about what he or she does that his or her life becomes a reflection of that desire.
One person that reminded me of this is Mr. Arthur Tanco, who I met last Saturday. Arthur has a booth called Klorophyll that offers wheatgrass and natural products. I spent a few minutes talking to him about the how he’s cultivating different local natural products such us kefir, local berry juices, local herbs, and of course wheatgrass. I’m looking forward to what he comes up with. I really enjoyed this berry drink I purchased from him. It was super refreshing and is full of antioxidants. I can’t wait to see his products gain wider appeal.
Another person who is like this is Virgin Coconut Oil Expert, Archie Armada. Ask him anything you want regarding VCO and you’ll have your answer. I remember when I had sore eyes he even suggested that I put a few drops of VCO on my eyes. I have to admit I didn’t have the guts to try. But he swears by this. Virgin Coconut Oil is a part of my everyday routine, which starts with a tablespoon of VCO and oil-pulling for 10 minutes every morning. Once in a while I put some on my hair as treatment. I remember talking to an old couple once about how they keep their hair so black and their answer was, “virgin coconut oil every morning.”
As I walked and stopped by the booths, I listened to these lovers tell me about their affairs with coffee, organic vegetables, and natural supplements, and I realized this is where health starts: at the heart. Health doesn’t start in your brain. We all know we need to be healthy but how many of us do anything about it?
(Read John Cuay’s amazing transformation and see for yourself!)
Health starts with a desire, a desire so strong, your life transforms through decision and action. As you read our articles and check out our products I have one encouragement:
Fall in love.
Naturalhealth.ph
Be Healthy – Naturally!
James 3:17-18
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
It’s Not About What You Think You Deserve. It’s About Who You Choose.
This is part 2 of my five part relationship series. These are opinions NOT expert advice.
To read all 5:
1. It’s About What’s Most Important?
2. It’s Not About What You Think You Deserve. It’s About Who You Choose
3. It’s About What You Got Across Not What You Think You Said or Did
4. It’s About Infinite Possibilities Not Minimum Requirements
5. It’s About Whatever It Takes
A Little More on Value
I’ve written quite a bit on a variety of topics with only the concept of VALUE tying all of them together. One thing I noticed, based on the feedback I get with each post, is that people seem to respond most to the ones about family and relationships. It’s just more proof that deep down, whether consciously or unconsciously, relationships are what we value most.
Think about it, on their deathbed, no one ever wished they played more Playstation, or ate more burritos, or earned more money. What we regret are the relationships we should have paid more attention to, the thank yous and I love yous we should have said, the sons and daughters we should have parented, and the dreams we should have shared.
I guess that’s the important thing about marking your values clearly, because when you do you can head towards it, when you don’t two things usually happen: you never get what you want because you don’t know, or worse, you get what you think you’ve always wanted and realize that it wasn’t worth it. The words “worth” and “value” are very closely connected. What’s valuable will always be worth it.
Clarifications on Value
I got some comments that I found interesting enough to address here because some of you might have similar questions. Here goes:
1. This is a great article for guys – I don’t know about the article being “great”. It’s just my opinion, and again, from a non-expert. Second, I wrote this for both men and women. The whole value thing won’t work if one person values the other but is not valued as well. Someone’s bound to burnout or become a martyr or get hurt. That’s not a sustainable situation.
2. You can’t jump to conclusions – Just because someone’s too tired to drive doesn’t mean they don’t value you. Maybe they’re really just too tired. This is a very very valid point raised by none other than my mother. And she’s right about this. My example needs qualifying. If let’s say you’re in a relationship, and you know that someone’s too tired to drive you, because you value him or her you put them ahead and make them rest. In the same way, if he or she values you they’ll do their best to serve you. But the reality stays that people have their limits, emotionally and even physically, but when you have two people valuing each other they adjust without feeling unvalued because they’re secure that the other holds them as most important even when they’re limitations become apparent. Having said that, a pattern of mistreatment is obvious proof that someone doesn’t value you or you don’t value someone.
3. All nice and sweet but people are humans and make mistakes. How can you say that making a mistake in a relationship means that person doesn’t value the person – This is a great point! No one can say they’ve never hurt anyone – especially me. Hurting someone doesn’t mean you don’t value that person, it only means that on that specific moment, whatever you were doing was more important. For example, when I say something tactless, which I do a lot, it just means that airing my opinion is more important to me than the feelings of someone else. This doesn’t necessarily mean I don’t value that person, just not as much as I should at that moment.
The problem is when the pattern of our life is one that takes the truly valuable things for granted. Some might argue that values are relative, and they’d be correct to an extent, but at the very least we should know what’s personally important to us, and live a life that moves towards that.
What about our mistakes? No one’s perfect. We will all make mistakes. What hope do we have?
I remember my dad explaining a critical component of relationships; it’s what reconciles us and allows us to enjoy the benefits of a valued relationship despite the reality that we are flawed and will make mistakes. That component is forgiveness. I’ve realized that forgiveness is more than just getting a clean slate. Forgiveness is another chance to enjoy that which you really value – and if you take this new chance for granted don’t be surprised if someday you’ll lose it, maybe even completely.
The simple point of the whole value thing is this:
KNOW AND DEFINE WHAT YOU VALUE. LIVE A LIFE THAT REFLECTS WHAT YOU VALUE. AND WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, CORRECT AND GO BACK – IF IT’S NOT TOO LATE.
4. I wish my boyfriend thought this way – when I was writing this, I wasn’t thinking about how I wish my partner would be like. I was writing this as a reminder to myself to be the type of person who knows who and what he values, and to be the type of person who enjoys the privilege of cultivating the valuable things in his life. I didn’t write this for people to use as a standard to compare their partners to, I wrote this as a guide for myself. I can’t say that everyday of my life is faultlessly value-based. A lot of it, maybe even most of it right now, isn’t. But I have a guide, and slowly but surely, in time, I’ll be deciding more based on what’s really valuable to me and not have as many regrets. Sometimes when I read your email I wonder if you’re talking about someone else and sending it to me by accident. I’m not a great guy that knows these things. I’m, like a work in progress, discovering things as we go along, and trying to make something out of the limited time we have on Earth.
And this leads me to the next portion of this series, and again I have to warn you that this is MY OPINION.
Off Your High Horse
Many times we have this picture of this dream relationship where everything works and is perfect, where everything is fair. I love him, he loves me. I’ll do anything for her, she’ll do anything for me. I write her, she writes me back. It’s perfect…
…until she forgets to text back right away after you sent her a sweet message. Or until you’ve bent over backwards and he’s sleeping on the couch. Or even until he gets fat after you get married, while you work hard to stay slim. Until these things happen, and you’re left asking yourself, what the heck is this???
For me, at least historically, when things get too complicated, that’s the time to press the EJECT button.
But I guess this all starts when we stop thinking about what’s most important TO us and we start thinking about what’s most important FOR us. We start thinking about what we deserve. We start having one of the most dangerous sicknesses you can catch – entitlement.
Entitlement is a dangerous case to have. No one owes us anything – not even the people we’re in relationship with. Sometimes we think guys have to be like this, girls have to be like that, and the truth is they don’t. No one has to give you flowers or cook you dinner. No one has to court you or make it easy for you to court him or her. No one has to do any of that, and you’re not entitled to any of that.
Some of you are asking, “I’m not?”
Nope.
“Then what am I entitled to?”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
But before you throw stones at me read on. (Besides my hair will soften the impact anyway.)
Here You Go
Love is a gift, not a trade. It isn’t bartered or earned. It is given, and in the case of true love, given completely. Sometimes we forget this, and we start saying things like, “If you truly loved me you would or wouldn’t…”.
You can complete the sentence.
When you give a gift you prepare it and make it special but you don’t expect anything in return. How ridiculous would it be for a kid to attend a party, give his gift, and go feel cheated when all he gets in return is a goodie bag?
“I gave you a Nerf Gun and you gave me lollipops!”
But we’re like that sometimes, always expecting a fair trade. “I did this. You didn’t” “You don’t deserve me!” “I don’t deserve you!” Tit for tat, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth is not the recipe of love but of feuds.
So what can I expect then?
Nothing. Nothing but the privilege to love unconditionally, to say “Here you go. You have everything.”
“That sucks, David.”
Why do you think I’m not married?
It’s About Who You Choose
Of course it doesn’t really suck. I’m exaggerating. We do get something, and it’s not necessarily what we think we deserve. We get whom we choose. This is why we need to choose well. This is why we don’t just jump in. This is why counting the cost is important, and there is a cost.
I liked this girl once, and looking back she really was cool, but I remember my dad telling me, (after asking me how I planned to feed her!), “David, no matter how pretty she is she’s going to take a crap someday.” My dad has a way of saying things. I guess this was his way of telling me no one’s perfect, don’t go blind, see things as they are.
Of course choosing well can mean different things to different people but here are two things I think are important:
1. Shared values – Do you agree on what the most important non-negotiable things are?
2. Shared love – Do you even like each other? Do you both put each other first?
For some funny reason we’re back to the questions “What’s most important?” and “Who is most important?” Trying to make sense of this, I’ve realized whom we choose reflects what’s important to us. We’re attracted to what’s important to us. So know for sure what’s important to you and choose well. As I said in another blog “everything costs something but not everything is priced right”. Choose the one you value most, know the cost, and pay it in full no matter how expensive. As I also said in another, “But you can never go wrong with the priceless things. They’ll always be a steal.”
It’s About What’s Most Important
Paolo Punzalan recently mentioned me on his blog on relationships. I don’t know why he suggested me as having insight on this (maybe because my views are entertainingly controversial), but I’ve been getting some questions regarding relationships on my email, Facebook, and formspring. So to answer all your questions more efficiently here are my thoughts on how to make a relationship work. I do have to make it clear from the start that I’m really no expert on this, so don’t go taking this as expert opinion. This is MY opinion on a subject I am historically known to be NOT very good at. But I’m learning, and over the next few weeks I’ll be posting 5 lessons I’ve learned so far:
1. It’s About What’s Most Important?
2. It’s Not About What You Think You Deserve. It’s About Who You Choose
3. It’s About What You Got Across Not What You Think You Said or Did
4. It’s About Infinite Possibilities Not Minimum Requirements
5. It’s Not About Formulas and Benchmarks. It’s About Whatever It Takes
Ok, here we go…
It’s About What’s Most Important?
Of course I had to stick in the word VALUE at the very top, because relationships are about what’s most important to you or what’s valuable to you. A lady from the microfinance group I’m a part of emailed me the other day asking about some life decisions. I told her to ask herself, “What’s most important to me?” and to order clearly the hierarchy of importance in her life. Because what we value affects our decision making. When something is important to us we naturally try to bring ourselves closer. When something is NOT valuable to us we naturally stay away or forget something even exists. It’s like the kid who can’t remember his subjects but can remember the stats of his sports heroes. It’s not a question of memory. It’s a question of value.
In a relationship, you need to be able to say that, after God, she’s the most valuable thing to you, and your decision-making, and your execution of your decisions (your actions) should show it. My dad always encouraged my brothers and I to make the big decision, because the smaller decisions become easy when you make the big decision. He used to say that it’s easy to choose what to wear to work when you’ve already chosen to actually go to work. In the same way, many people find it hard to do the little things for the person they’re supposed to love simply because they’ve never made a conscious decision to set her aside as most important.
If we’re impatient with someone it only means we value our impatience more than we value the person. If we’re angry at someone it only means we value our anger more than that person. If we’d rather sleep than drive for our wives or girlfriends it only means that we value how tired we are or our convenience more than them. This is hard to accept but it’s true. When I am misbehaving towards someone, I can give every reason I think is valid, but the bottom line is I value my reasons more than that person. Because IF the person is MOST valuable, than she should be MORE valuable than my reasons no matter how valid they are. Again it’s hard to accept, even for me. But when I think about the reasons why my dates never went past a few months the answer is the same, while I always try to make a positive contribution in the lives of others, at that moment, what was most important was… drumroll… ME.
Are You Ready?
I remember once being asked at a talk (why I get asked to talk on relationships is a mystery to me), “How do you know if you’re ready for a relationship?” And I answered:
When you’re ready to put her before you. When you’re ready to put her needs before your needs, her wants before your wants, her dreams before yours, her comfort before yours, her feelings before yours, her convenience before yours. When you’re ready to lay your life down that’s when you know you’re ready.
Of course I followed this up with, “And that’s how I know I’m absolutely NOT ready.”
Insecure Value
Sometimes I come across people who are so insecure about where they stand in a relationship and I realize it’s because they themselves and / or their partners have never settled in their hearts that the other is most important. When what’s most important isn’t decided on, everything becomes negotiable. I can go out and get drunk because he offended me. I can text others since we’re not cheating anyway. I can gossip to my friends because he’s a butt. All of a sudden we can negotiate in our mind to do the things that will hurt the person because we have never really set them aside as valuable – meaning even their value is negotiable – they’re only valuable as long as they do as we like. I’m so grateful our Father is not like that. Because, while I have decided on my values, sometimes I find myself negotiating and rationalizing my mistakes. But our Father, He doesn’t negotiate our value. He has marked us as important to Him even when we fall short, and that is why His love never fails. God’s love doesn’t change with our roller coaster of a life. It actually reminds me of Shakespeare’s very famous Sonnet 116:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Love never alters. It doesn’t bend. It is an ever-fixed mark that is never shaken. When that’s the love you enjoy you’ll be secure.
Someday There’ll Be Treasure
Someday, I’m going to type her name on this blog, and like a white flag waving, that will signal my fall. When that day comes I have to surrender and say, “You’re most important now.” There will be times when I won’t get my way, but that’s ok, she’s most important. There will be days when I won’t understand, but I’ll have to trust, because she’s most important. There will be days when I’ll get mad (maybe a lot of days with my impatience), but I’ll have to swallow my pride, prepare a peace offering, and apologize to the one who is most important to me. Just typing this is making me dizzy, but then I realize I won’t have to worry, because I’ll be what’s most important to her, and as the Bible says: perfect love casts out all fear.
The Beautiful End
Things Change
Change is the process of becoming different. And life has changed for the Brothers Bonifacio, incredibly so the past few years. Gone are the care-free and care-less days of a wonderful childhood that had the stability of great parents in love, the entertainment of being in between a sarcastic genius older brother and an insane yet prophetic younger one, the convenience of having your best friends around you and next door, and the simplicity of not wanting anything more than time to play GI Joes and LEGO.
But, as I said, things changed.
My parents are still very much in love, but the stability of mine and my brothers’ lives will depend more on our own actions and decisions now as we grow into independence.
This is most obvious to me when I go out to eat.
When I was younger, without looking at prices, I always managed to choose the most expensive thing available. I can’t explain how. It was pure talent. I would walk into a cloth shop, know nothing about cloth, choose a pattern I like, and lo and behold, the heaviest price tag. We would walk into art shops and my parents would marvel at how everything I liked was way way way beyond our budget – our budget for several years. And this talent was most often displayed in restaurants.
These days the figures to the right have more of a say on what I order, simply because this time I’m paying and can’t afford to ignore the math.
Fair Females and Un-Fair Expectations
Another sign of the changing times is how we’ve complicated our lives with females.
While my brothers never really sought membership in my “female-haters” club, they weren’t exactly the biggest fans of the gentler gender. But even at a young age my dad tried to teach us the importance of choosing the right partner:
Pop: Guys. We have something important to talk about. Someday, when you get married, half of everything you own will belong to your wife. Meaning, half your GI JOEs, half your LEGO, and half of all your toys.
And the answers were telling:
Joe: I’ll just make sure that I marry someone I really really love, that way I won’t mind sharing everything with her.
Joseph was ridiculously good sometimes. We were kids when he said this. Imagine. Josh and I had to grow up next to the crown prince of virtue. I didn’t even like the thought of females touching my GI JOEs. There was this one time when the daughter of a family friend came over to play. I gave her Jinx, the female ninja GI JOE to play with. (I didn’t like Jinx anyway.) Then, as can be expected when a female gets involved, things got complex:
Ina: David, before your GI JOEs fight, we have to get married.
Me: What??? Are you nuts??? GI JOEs don’t get married.
Ina: Of course they do. Everyone gets married.
Me: NO!!! You’re a weirdo!
Ina: If you won’t marry me then give me another GI JOE I can marry.
Me: No way!!! None of my guys want to marry you!
Ina: How am I supposed to get married when you won’t give me anyone to marry?
I wouldn’t budge. I was the leader of my JOEs and I wasn’t about to sacrifice any of them on the marriage alter. But neither would she. She HAD to get married. Finally, we settled on Jinx marrying a purple Koosh Ball. And it all worked out well in the end. They lived happily ever after playing in their corner, while I went on to save the world with Hawk and Flint. I’m pretty sure Jinx and the Koosh would have had ugly kids.
I loved my GI JOEs, and that’s why when answering my dad’s little talk on marriage I said, “Forget it. I’m not getting married.”
But the best answer came from Joshua, “You won’t? I’m going to marry a billionaire.” He always was a smart guy.
My brothers have since found best friends from the enemy camp. I’m sticking to my limited treaties.
Yesterday my dad asked me before church, “David, of all your girl-friends, which one do you think would make the best wife for you?” I told him it was something I didn’t really think about, and that when I did think about it, there wasn’t really a problem with the females, it’s really more me that has work to do. He replied, “I’m asking you a simple hypothetical question and you’re not answering it. So who?”
And this section stops here.
The Beautiful End
I can’t tell you when exactly things changed, when our childhood ended and my brothers and I were required to become men. Like my dad’s favorite, Mr. Darcy said, “I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.” But I can tell you this:
God blesses us with beautiful surprises from the most normal and unexpected of places. And sometimes He does the opposite, taking away and bringing things to a close. But I’ve realized that the beginning and the end are two parts of the same blessing: one part to usher in the joy, and the other, to teach us to value what was.
I guess like the law of conservation of matter and of energy, things don’t really disappear, they just change to something else, dissipating to other things, hopefully better things. When you see endings this way, you realize that the end is never really game over, but the start of something new. Like the death of a seed is necessary for a plant to bloom, the end opens up new things, new opportunities, and new experiences.
And what turns every end, every close, every heartbreak, every loss, and every finish beautiful? The love, forgiveness, and redemption, and hope found in grace – God’s grace that turns any experience into a catapult to bring you to where He wants to take you.
And so this post, and the Bonifacio Brothers series, ends the only way it ever could – with a new beginning.
I Have A Dream
Watching rain drops
Watching headlights
Coalesce into the features
Of your face
Hearing the wind hum
Hearing the city jungle
All sound like the whispering
Of your name
I have a dream…
And it looks like a farm with olive trees
I have a dream
And it looks like a boat sailing open sees
Watching rain drops
Watching headlights
Rise from the features
Of your face
Hearing the wind hum
Hearing the city jungle
Reminding me
You’re far away
Couldn’t Sleep Again
Is there a brighter fire?
Guided by flickering lights
Walking on a slippery slope
Is there a clearer day?
Fighting on towards a prize
Holding on to only hope
With a Little Help from My Friends
NATURAL FITNESS COMING SOON!
I just finished a meeting with my friend and fitness expert Dr. John Cuay. He’ll be in charge of naturalhealth.ph’s Fitness category when we launch it at the end of the month. John is better known as the instructor to the beauty queens and was responsible for sculpting the bodies of some of the Philippines’ most beautiful women including Venus Raj who did very well at the last Ms. Universe. He was actually the one who introduced me to the TRX before it got popular here. I was at a camp for kids where John was helping out when I asked him what I could to stay fit without having to leave the house. He has many ideas regarding this and Natural Fitness will be all about getting and staying fit in a way that’s practical and natural.
Running Around the City
Last Friday, I, along with naturalhealth.ph contributors Paul Pajo (Health Geek) and Tina Pamintuan (Healthy Appetite, COMING SOON!), tested the 10km route for the Real LIFE Foundation’s Race for LIFE 2010 that will be held this week at Fort Bonifacio.
Since we all have work, Tina at her restratunt L’incontro, Paul as a professor, and me at Issho Genki, we agreed to meet late in the evening and start from the Every Nation building. What I forgot to mention to Tina was that we would be running on the Edsa-Buendia flyover, which isn’t such a bad route, but running it in the rain with cars whizzing by can be quite discomforting for people who are not used to running with traffic.
To make a long story short, we survived, but we had to alter our route to avoid running through the overpass.
We followed this up with a nice Japanese dinner and excellent conversation.
With a Little Help from my Friends
The two stories above capture what naturalhealth.ph is all about: a group of people helping each other and others to live naturally healthy lives. Health doesn’t have to be mysterious; you can ask us or one of our friends. It doesn’t have to be expensive; you can mix higher-priced high products with lower-cost but just as effective natural ones. Finally, health doesn’t have to be inconvenient; you can do it at home, make it a part of your life, and even enjoy free delivery. There’s just so many ways to be healthy these days, and naturalhealth.ph is just one way we hope will not just inspire you to be healthy but actually be a resource.
Another thing I want to underscore is the importance of having relationships that push you to become a better version of yourself. I get to meet a lot of people but my closest friends are those who won’t settle for mediocrity just because it’s more fun or convenient, and they’re not the type who’ll let me settle either. My closest friends and I push and encourage each other to move a little forward, reach a little higher, dream a little bigger, and work a little harder to enjoy better lives.
I hope that as you work on getting healthier, that you surround yourself with people who care about you enough to partner with you, and even more, that you would be that friend who will help others as friends are supposed to do – naturally.
For more health articles visit naturalhealth.ph.
Naturalhealth.ph
Be Healthy – Naturally!
4 Turnaround Lessons
I’ve spent most of the day looking at financial statements. One of the things I’m doing now is working on the turnaround of Issho Genki Interntional, the producers and distributors of the most trusted brand of Squalene (which is currently a small yet growing category). We’re not completely out of the woods yet, but this last quarter is looking very positive for Issho Genki. We have improved enough to make me a little more comfortable with writing about the lessons we have learned from our mistakes. There are actually a lot of lessons I would like to share but I’ll start with these four.
What Do You Love?
Squalene is a natural antioxidant which protects and enhances the body’s cells. I’ve been taking the thing for about 15 years now and love the stuff. So aside from the challenge and necessity, loving the product was an attraction to me. I’m not really a salesman. I can’t sell anyone anything. What I am is a highly contagious sick man. When I fall sick in love with something I’m going to infect you with it if you hang around me long enough.
Turn Around Lesson #1: Work on something you’re passionate about. Turnarounds have a lot of baggage that can distract and discourage you. Working on something you’re passionate about helps keep you motivated. While need is a great motivator, never underestimate someone who is madly in love.
Go Treasure Hunting
Issho Genki used to be a very popular supplement brand but dropped out of people’s consciousness when management was not able to transition well into retail outlets. It’s a classic case of a business that did well, overspent, didn’t change relevantly, and descended. The good part though is that there was a lot to work with, such as the brand recall due to its, at the time I took over, 13 year existence, historically large distributor base, high-quality manufacturing base in Japan, and existing distribution relationships with Mercury Drug, Watsons, and other retailers and customers. The most important thing the company had though was some really trustworthy and hardworking people that made the chance of a turnaround possible.
Turn Around Lesson #2: Look for the pieces of value. These are things you’ll be able to work with and build on. What are the assets? (Of course depreciate accurately!) How much cash? (This is your blood. Even if people owe you, you run out of cash, you’re dead.) Can you use your assets to generate cash? (Either through sales or as collateral) In our case, we didn’t have any hard assets aside from a very nebulous concept of brand goodwill. We had no way of accurately measuring this so working with that was a step of faith. We also didn’t have a lot of cash. We had a third of what we needed to survive month 1. (That month was very stressful for me!) But what we did have other than the brand were good people who made the sales happen and extended payables and stretched and stretched. Good people are always a great asset.
Cut the Fat
When I walked into my corner office on the 25th floor of a nice commercial building in one of Metro Manila’s business districts I had the following thoughts in sequence:
1. Wow. This is cool.
2. This is really big. Too big.
3. This must be expensive.
4. This has to go.
One problem businesses have as they go along is that they take on too much fat. That’s actually like us humans. Hehe. We take on so much unwanted baggage that weigh and slow us down, or worse, choke our organs which kills us. We had to do a lot of cost cutting in Issho Genki, more than a third of our operating expenses. This also meant there were contracts we could not renew, people we could not hire, perks we could not enjoy, and rewards that had to be differed. Of course not everyone was happy – including me. But you have to do what you have to do.
Turn Around Lesson #3: Cut the fat. Look in the mirror and see where everything is starting to sag and cut those parts out. (I’m in no way suggesting liposuction. I’m talking figuratively.) While Lesson #1 is to work on something you’re passionate about, don’t mistake the fat for the purpose. Fat are the unnecessary things or parts or even functions we’ve accumulated that no longer effectively contribute to your purpose or bottom-line. So to cut the fat you should have a well-defined purpose for your organization. I see this so many times in business and even non-profits where everyone wants to do everything, so there are so many people accumulating fat, and no one can recognize what’s fat anymore because there is no clearly defined purpose. So define the purpose based on what’s important to you (values) and what doesn’t fit is fat. Cut that. Some people can afford to go on a diet. We couldn’t. We had to have surgery. So we did just that.
Who’s Your Daddy?
I was 23 years old when I took over a company that was closing down. When I look back I really had no idea what I was doing. They say that sometimes not knowing is actually better so that you don’t know what to be afraid of. I don’t know if that’s true. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was really scared. More people would have seen it if my repertoire of facial expressions was more than just a smirk, but in my gut I was really really scared. I was scared because I knew that I didn’t have what it takes to make this work, and this is what led me to what I consider my life’s greatest lesson: Run to God.
Turn Around Lesson #4: This isn’t from the business books, but it’s really from my life manual: run to God and wait on Him. There were days when I would go to the office at 6am just to pray for a miracle. That somehow something would happen that day and we would live to fight another day. I would walk around our empty office and say “Father, please help Beth with the finances. Please help Guada with administration. Help Lolit with logisitcs.” I would pray for everyone and everything, and guess what? Most of what I prayed for didn’t happen. Hehe. But better things came along. Life lessons instead of quick profits. Humility instead of promotions. Contentment instead of abundance. Peace beyond understanding. These, along with the knowledge that my Father is watching over me, fixing my mistakes, redeeming my wrongs, forgiving my sins, and surely preparing a place for me, these are my profits.
Money is useful, but these experiences, they’re priceless.
And life is not being able to afford the numbers on the price tags. Life is about discovering what’s really priceless and enjoying them fully.
…By the way, while there’s still a lot to do, sales are up and expenses are down. That’s always a good sign.
Psalm 34:18 – 19
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
Contributions
Tired hands
Massaging glycerine
Make life sweet
With Empty Hands
The things of impatience
The things of my pride
The heavy expectations
The thorns on my side
I let go
With empty hands
I hold on to you
The things I can’t say
The things I can’t show
Things I want to forget
Things I’d rather not know
I let go
With empty hands
I hold on to you
Halloween Thoughts
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
- 1 John 4:18
What I Want
Image by Victart.
Not a mansion in heaven
Not a castle in the sky
Not a mountain top experience
Not my name in stone
Not the respect of men
Not the applause of crowds
Not barns overflowing
Not vans with new wine
Just Your love
Someday her love
In my home
In my heart
As the light
Of my life
Harvest Moon
Full moon golden
Heralds love awoken
Two hearts smitten
Celestially stolen
Completely fallen
Yet remains unspoken
Disappearing Dream
Waking
A mirage
Disappears
Reminding Myself
My Father, my strength
I’m helpless and weak
My savior, redeemer
I’m stuck again
My faith, my hope
I’m full of doubt
My promise, my portion
I have nothing left
But there is no dream that’s too great for you,
No emptiness too deep
There is no struggle you can’t win,
No enemy you can’t defeat
And there is no storm you can’t calm,
No evening too dark for your light
Not Alone
Not alone in my memories
They’re so full of you
Of a walk on a grassy hill
Of that day when time stood still
Not alone in my dreams
They’re wishing for you
For a time of better days
For a simpler, safer place
Pleasant Surprises
Pleasant surprises
Just when I had doubts
Amazing turn of events
Made beautiful in its time
I can’t explain how
Or why now
I can’t see
Why for me
You’d make it all brand new
So I can be with you
Was broken and empty
Now made whole and worthy
Why?
Someone asked me recently, “If money was not an issue would you be working on this?” He followed this up by saying, “If you didn’t earn any money from this would you still be promoting health?”
And the answer is a loud “YES!”
Let me tell you why, because knowing the “why” many times helps us appreciate something better.
There are many “whys” in our lives, many reasons why we do or don’t do things. For most it’s this idea of survival. “I work hard so I can eat. I eat to survive.” For others it’s for money or the accumulation of things. “I need more” or “I want more so I’m working my butt off.” For some it could be the prestige of success, “I want people to respect me.” And for others something else, there’s a why, a reason, a motive for all the different things we do. But for me, it’s one word: VALUE.
For those of you who follow my blogs, you’ll know that the recurring theme of my life is the word VALUE. When I got into the health industry, I kept thinking that there had to be a better approach to health, one that really gave value to people, and one that did 3 things:
1.Not just cured people of symptoms, but actually prevented sickness and disease and complications by encouraging a healthy lifestyle.
2.Was all-natural because the body absorbs natural products better, there are less side-effects (if any), and its also friendlier to the environment to produce.
3.Was not just available to the rich, but one that gave access to everyone through awareness campaigns, building scale to drop cost of natural products, and making it convenient to get information on the products, make an order, and pay safely. This is why the web was an obvious choice and PayPal (which is very secure and has a refund option) was our first payment system.
Good products that prevent sickness, that’s from all-natural sources, and was easily accessible online (that has many educational resources) would actually make and keep people healthier. This wouldn’t just fix a headache or kill a pimple. These would keep your head and skin in great shape! This is the “WHY?” of naturalhealth.ph, to help people “Be Healthy – Naturally!”
“Being” is a state of living, and being healthy is living in a state of health. When you’re healthy you’re more productive, more secure, and more able to enjoy life. This is what we want you to enjoy through our site, to live in a state of health – through natural methods of course.
But we can take this further, and this is what I want to leave with you. Let’s take this further than just our health. Let’s apply this to our lives. What’s the “WHY?” of your life? Why do you wake-up every morning? Why do you do what you do? Why do you approach life the way you do? Why do you feed your body with chemicals from junk? Why not just eat healthy instead? Why do you treat others a certain way? Why do limit your potential? Why are you afraid of going for your dreams?
These are just some of the many “WHY?” questions we can and should ask ourselves, not just so we’ll have an answer, but so that we won’t wake up one day missing the things we should have prioritized and realizing we used up our time and resources on the things that don’t really matter.
For me, I live this way because I value my relationships (with God, with family,, with friends, and others), and also because I value my health and this life I’ve been given. What’s your reason WHY? Email me at david@mail.naturalhealth.ph. I’d love to hear from you!
Wishing you a lifetime of health – Naturally!
More on naturalhealth.ph
Holding On
Our prayers reach heaven
Every wish, every hope
Every call, every cry
Faith believes
He sees, He hears
He feels, He cares
Faith trusts
He answers in silence
He moves in stillness
Our prayers return
In each sunrise, in grace
In each day’s end, and rest
Running in the Rain
“Life is like a rainbow. You need both the sun and the rain to make its colors appear.”
I like running in the rain. I actually prefer it to running under the heat of the sun. I like it because it takes me back to a time when running was purest for me, when it wasn’t about my personal best, or the distance, or my outfit, but simply about enjoying myself and having a good time.
It’s with that picture, that picture of running in the rain as a kid, that I begin this section on www.naturalhealth.ph. I wanted to write about one of my passions, health, but I also wanted to approach it the way children approach anything: with curiosity, excitement, and fun.
Being healthy is very important. But just because something is important doesn’t mean it can’t be something that intrigues, excites, and brings joy.
It’s really a matter of perspective. If health to you is about starving and dying in the gym then you’ll never probably ever really sustain anything long enough to be healthy. But if it’s about discovering yourself, your body, your capabilities, and enjoying a better way of living then you’ll see the disciplines differently.
If you’d like to interact more with me or have questions feel free to add me on Twitter: davidbonifacio or Facebook. I may not be able to answer all of you but I will try.
Wishing you all a lifetime of health – naturally.
You can read more articles at my Natural Health Philippines Blog here.
City Escape
Mosquitoes nip on my legs, but let them feast on our entwined limbs. The scrapes on my knees sting, throbbing like our beating hearts. Security patrols the grounds, envying us, for our moment, with hopes burning brighter than the stars. Inevitabilities may haunt us, but close your sad eyes and calm your anxious heart. My love for you stays, even when I’m not around, to be your open field in a cruel city, your starry night in dark times. So you won’t forget, which I fear someday you will, let me remind you with a kiss.
Never Say Never
First written as a guest post on Liz Claudio’s Blog.
Most of the people who know me know that I spend my Saturday mornings at the Real LIFE Foundation’s feeding program where we feed and play games with kids every week at our eco-friendly facility in Pasig. Despite usually having only 3 staff members there, Real LIFE is able to pull this off with a lot of help from volunteers and the LIFE Scholars, young men and women of leadership, integrity, faith, and excellence whose educations are sponsored by Real LIFE.
While at I was at last Saturday’s feeding, I was talking with one of the LIFE Scholars when, while talking about how much we both loved kids, he asked me a question from my personal FAQ (frequently asked questions):
Scholar: Planning to have some of your own soon?
Me (sidestepping the question): You? Haha!
Scholar: I never want to have any.
Me: You don’t? But you’re good with kids.
Scholar: I’ve thought about it, and I don’t want my children to experience what happened to me because of my dad. I don’t want to make them go through what my dad made me go through.
When I heard him say this I really felt something inside drop, not so much because he didn’t want to have kids, but more because of his reason: “I don’t want my children to experience what happened to me because of my dad. I don’t want to make them go through what my dad made me go through.” Here was this wonderful young man, smart, hardworking, determined, can run 5k in 15 minutes (that’s fast by the way), telling me that his reason for not wanting to have children was his fear of following in his father’s footsteps.
And many of us have similar fears.
Fears that we’ll become like our predecessors.
Fears that we won’t.
Fears that we’ll make the same mistakes.
Fears that we won’t reach the same heights.
Fears of never being able to break the limitations they’ve lived with and passed on to you.
Fears that we will drop the baton when it’s our turn.
We have our own versions that have trapped us in Never-land–not the one from J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan, but a lie cooked-up in hell–that we will never fulfill a dream because it’s too big, that we will never make a wish since it won’t come true anyway, or that we will never break through because no one has.
But as I said, that’s a lie–a lie that has no power over us unless we let it capture our hearts and minds.
So let me tell you the truth, and this is what I told my young friend earlier: Never say never. Because the things we call impossible today will be reality tomorrow, just like the things once declared impossible. Here are some examples:
“Well informed people know it is impossible to transmit the voice over wires and that were it possible to do so, the thing would be of no practical value.” — The Boston Post, 1865
“There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance. It’s a $500 subsidised item. They may make a lot of money. But if you actually take a look at the 1.3 billion phones that get sold, I’d prefer to have our software in 60% or 70% or 80% of them, than I would to have 2% or 3%, which is what Apple might get.” — Steve Ballmer, USA Today, 2007
“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” –Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
“A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.” –New York Times, 1936.
“We will never make a 32-bit operating system.” — Bill Gates, speaking at the launch of MSX in 1983.
These statements seem dumb today but these were made by respected experts who knew what they were talking about–or so they thought.
Sometimes the world seems like an impossible place to realize the dreams and imaginations of our hearts and minds, but never say never. Never say you’ll never make it, because you don’t know what breakthrough is waiting for you. Never say you’ll never be successful; you don’t know what great thing has been prepared for you to achieve. Just because no one can see it, doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Just because you don’t know, doesn’t mean you won’t discover. And just because you never have, doesn’t mean you never will.
Outer Space
Galaxies and cosmos
Play on my ceiling
Gas and color come alive
Don’t understand
How planets collide
Once massive, now pieces
Can’t understand
How bright stars die
Once radiant, now black holes
New sparks ignite
New masses combine
Only for a moment, only for a time
An Infinite Number of Lives
Dinner Has Changed
The theme of Cinema Paradiso plays as I enjoy another late dinner by myself. I couldn’t have asked for better background music. I really enjoyed that movie, and the score is one of my favorites. Sometimes I feel like a character in a coming-of-age film, fortunately stumbling along through life experiencing all the mistakes, hurts, losses, and lessons along the way.
Life for me has changed a lot, and it has gotten very interesting – my catch-all word for stressful, challenging, worrying, stretching, strengthening, character building, and maturing. Most days start early in the morning with the sunlight acting as a natural alarm clock, then its prayer, oil-pulling, breakfast (when I remember), and off to work. I go through a list of things to do for Issho Genki, naturalhealth.ph, and some other opportunities, as well as taking some time for my non-profit involvements. Sometimes I have lunch but lately I’ve been forgetting, so I put an alarm on my phone to remind me, but I somehow messed-up the alarm so it rings at 4pm. I haven’t gotten around to fixing it. So aside from the granola bars I eat all day, dinner is really the only regular meal I have.
And even dinner has changed.
Just a few months ago, while still living in my parents’ house, I could expect a yummy home cooked meal every evening. These days, I usually eat at one of the cheap restaurants near my building or stick to a mixture of no-cook food on paper plates. I finally bought glasses last week, so now I can enjoy my favorite full-cream milk in something other than a plastic cup. Once in a while I treat myself to something a little more expensive, but it’s true what they say about earning your keep, when you’ve worked so hard you just don’t want to spend it away.
But despite having less conveniences, less food, less security (more like no security), and less of all the comforts I used to enjoy, I feel alive – and isn’t that what life is about? To do more than take up space on the planet, but to know and feel in your heart that you’re participating in this great story’s unraveling. That your living out your story within His-story.
That’s the one point I hope you catch in this post: live your story.
Live Your Story
I love stories. I love reading them, hearing about them, and watching them, and I love writing my own. And while I have my favorites, I’ve realized that all stories are incomparable. You can’t compare The Godfather to The Little Prince, neither can you say Il Postino was better than Legends of the Fall.
They’re all good stories.
But sometimes we do this with each other and ourselves, comparing stories and making pronouncements on which one’s better. Your story is better because you’ve made fewer mistakes. My story beats yours because I’ve traveled more. Your story isn’t worth anything because you don’t have money. You ruined your story when you were arrested, or when you got pregnant, or because you went bankrupt. We rank our stories according to conventions, unforgiving conventions that trap us.
But there’s no use comparing stories since every story is unique, and different, and special because every story is a life with a spirit, soul, and body, that’s maybe very differently oriented than yours but also created by God. I’ve decided to stop playing story judge. Instead, I’d rather be like a child that listens wide-eyed to everything from flying elephants and brave soldiers to martyrs and romances. It’s also helped that I’m more aware of my own limitations, stink, and weaknesses, and I want to be forgiving, hoping that someday people will be forgiving as well. Because when I’m really honest with myself, when I pray at night, all I can say is, “Father, here’s my story. It isn’t much. But it’s yours if you’ll take it. Please redeem it. Fix it.” There’s enough in my own story to work on. Why busy myself policing others?
Fathers of Three Boys
The man who delivers the paper to my parents’ house has been doing the same thing for a while. He used to come in a bike but now he’s upgraded to a scooter – one that’s big enough to hold him and his own 3 boys. I saw them once, packed tight one after the other on the scooter, and I wondered to myself what that must feel like. Then I had an impression, “It’s different isn’t it? It’s something else.”
I thought about that: “It’s different.”
Here was a man, just like my dad a father, of 3 boys too, working to put food on the table, married for sure, so many similarities but – different. They don’t have our cars but we don’t know the thrill of riding behind our dad on a scooter. They don’t have Bulla Bars in the freezer like my mom likes to have, but there’s something, many things actually, in their story that’s not in mine. It’s different. Again, it’s incomparable. One is not better than the other. It’s just different.
An Infinite Number of Lives
Wakes are supposed to be a sad place, not a time for inspiration. But a few weeks ago, while walking out of the wake of Chip’s brother, Jaco, I couldn’t stop thinking about the words printed on a photo of Jaco his mom, Tita Sony, handed me:
“There’s been an infinite variety of lives. Who’s to say his was any less worth living than all the others?”
There are an infinite number of lives. Yours, mine, lives of those who have gone before us, and lives waiting to begin, all different, all unique, all priceless, and all worth living just the same.
Clarifications
Some of you have probably seen the articles on the newspaper featuring me as an “MVP”. This is part of Pharmaton’s campaign to encourage more people to make valuable contributions to society. I liked the campaign because I’ve always believed that private institutions can and should use their resources to help the public good in a way that also makes sense from a marketing perspective. I say this because I believe that for any relationship to work, whether it’s a marriage, a friendship, for work, or even for inter-organizational or inter-sectoral areas, it has to be a win-win situation. You cannot sustain a relationship when one party is always winning and the other is always losing. This is something we’ve always realized and respected in the foundations we are a part of: collaborate and look for a win-win. Based on the feedback and participation of people in the Pharmaton MVP campaign, I would say this is a good example of big business serving the public good as well as their private bottom-line – which isn’t a bad thing since they’re a business after all.
There are two things I want to say though regarding the campaign, two things I want to clarify. Sometimes, well actually, many times, media makes things bigger than they really are and more amazing than reality and that’s why I’m writing this.
First things first, I didn’t found or co-found Real LIFE. Dr. Joey Castro did when he started helping the students in Pasig. It wasn’t called Real LIFE yet. It wasn’t called anything. But the spirit of what would become Real LIFE began with him back then, and it’s the spirit where seeds are planted. My involvement started when I graduated from the Ateneo and joined Dr. Joey to help “organize” (if that’s what you call organizing) his program into a foundation that was named Real LIFE. I guess this is where the mixup happens, because not many people knew about what Dr. Joey was doing before the whole Real LIFE “institutionalizing” and “branding” took effect and had Doc and I closely associated. I want to be clear about this, not because this matters to Doc, the guy is the humblest man I know and doesn’t care about these things, but because it matters to me that Doc gets the credit he deserves.
Second, aside from Doc’s work, Real LIFE has grown as fast as it has thanks to the leadership of Lynn Nawata and our very hardworking team Sony, Vince, Rhia (who was our first team member), and Ariel. I recently had lunch with Doc and we were talking about how proud we are of this team, and how they’ve taken Real LIFE to a level of organizational excellence the two of us could never have brought it to. The Real LIFE Center stands today because of their handwork, as well as the dedication of Mailleen Hern who recently passed away. We have more scholars than ever because of them too. The LIFE Program exists because of their research and execution. Again, this doesn’t matter to them, but it matters to me that they get the credit.
Some of you might ask, “So what was your part?” Well, I was the big-haired guy in the video. Seriously, the way I see it, Doc lit a candle, which I took and set a few hearts on fire, which Lynn and the team took and turned it into a flamethrower.
I’m writing this so that we won’t miss the essence of the Pharmaton MVP campaign, which is all about celebrating the contributions of everybody and highlighting that each of us in our own way can make a difference. You don’t have to do something big, you can start small. You don’t have to be special, you’re already a valuable part of the mix. I’m also writing this so that people don’t start thinking I’m this super guy – which is an expectation I’m bound to let down. I’m just blessed to have worked with good people and to be a part of things greater than me. Other than that there really is nothing big about me.
Well, maybe except my hair.
Helen
I wrote this in August of 2007. I was 23 years old.
I was suppose to meet up with some friends but felt like I really didn’t want to see too many people I knew, so I decided to have a quiet dinner with a book on global corruption (A Game As Old As Empire – read it, it’s very interesting), and my journal to write and draw on. I went to look at art materials after (I’m suppose to be an artist now, so I can rationalize these purchases) and realized that the only color I needed was the color they lacked – White! I found it really interesting when the salesgirl tried to sell me something else in place of white:
Salesgirl: Sorry sir, we don’t have white eh.
Me: That’s alright. Thanks.
Salesgirl: We have a lot of black if you like.
Me: That’s ok. Thank you.
Salesgirl: How about brown sir?
I figured it was late, and she had been working the whole day, that she no longer remembered that you can’t paint a “white” flower with “black” or “brown” paint. I did appreciate her very pleasant attitude and willingness to help me. (Maybe she thought I painted with bleach.)
My last stop was suppose to be a bookstore that I frequent on lazy nights. The manager is very friendly and never fails to ask me what my new “escapade” is, and always asking questions about Afghanistan. He’s much older, turning 59 this year I believe, and reads about almost anything (this is why we get along). Since it was nearing closing time I asked him if he would like to have coffee for a bit. He thought that was a good idea, closed shop, and we sat down with some cappuccino for him and tea for me.
I had a great time conversing with him on a multiple of disciplines and arenas, from art, to classical music and opera, to history, religion, and polictics and economics. In conversations like this, I prefer to listen and ask questions. By virtue of the fact that the guy has been alive more than twice as long as I have, he’s got to have more to say. I found his stories very interesting, and I was happy to talk to someone who appreciated Debussy, Saint-Saens, Hosseini, and Chernow as much as I.
Then I asked him if there was a family he went home to, and he said there was none. That really changed the mood of things. Sometimes I wonder why I ask these things. Reminds me of when Stephen and I grilled one of his employees on which of his two girlfriends he loved more. (That’s a differnt story.)
He told me that he had never gotten married. I asked him why not, and I will never forget his answer, nor the longing in his face as he told me, “There was someone once. She was a ship that came and passed. What went wrong? We started thinking about the ‘what fors’ and lost the ‘what ifs’.” I appreciate style, but I normally like to talk in English, so I asked him to explain.
We talked about how at the start of things, their relationship was all about the what ifs. It was all about the possibilities. “What if we do this? What if we take a trip? What if we settle down here or buy a house there?” Everything was an option as long as they were together. But the realities of life eroded what they had, and the impracticality of the possibilities removed initial considerations. Situations and circumstances proved less than ideal. At the end of it all, they found themselves questioning what they had. “What is all of this for? Is all the effort worth it?”
I guess they didn’t think so. They’d probably be together if they thought otherwise.
He did leave me with some take home. He told me, “Never trade the possibilities for the practical compromises. Mediocrity is Monstrosity. You can not settle. All the masters, from painters to singers to athletes to heroes, there is a passion, almost an obsession, for something, sometimes something unattainable. That is why they’re masters. Either you give it everything or you don’t. When you hold back, your expectations will never be met, and you will inenvitably question what, that thing you once enjoyed, is for.” (I never got to ask him if he noticed that a lot of the “masters” were depressed and quite unstable. He could have told me that the “what ifs” are basically his stylized way of talking about the possibilities, and the “what fors” are the questions he asked when things got difficult. )
I paid for the bill and I thanked him for an interesting conversation. Then I went home, tried to type this blog, practiced piano, and went to bed.
I remember asking him what her name was.
Lost in his thoughts, with a faraway look, he told me, “Her name was Helen.”
If You Find
If you find you’re facing life all alone
Don’t lose hope
I’m right here
If the day has a crazy mind of its own
Don’t despair
We’ll be crazier
In the storm,
We’ll go running in the rain
When it shakes,
We’ll go dancing to the beat
Of our hearts
Sakura
I like waking to sunlight streaming through my window. I like to think of it as Heaven’s way of saying good morning to me. But there are times when the mornings aren’t good, and the rest of the day doesn’t really improve, and the evenings, sometimes they are like capstones on a grave.
But to live is to wake-up everyday, and to wake-up is to rise to reality – the parts we enjoy and the parts we don’t.
The past few months, since I moved out, I have gotten into this habit of just lying on my bed and staring at the metallic form of a fire sprinkler on my ceiling. Every evening before I sleep and every morning, I take some time to stay this way, staring up, lost in my thoughts – and there’s a forest of thoughts to get lost in.
Maybe that’s why my hair grows out in all directions, like extensions of my dendrites. Anyway…
One of the thoughts I’ve been thinking about is the idea of “the end”. Not necessarily death, but the conclusion of something.
Everything ends. Everything has an expiry date. Everything has a limit.
But let me share a simple thought I had when visiting my friend Mark’s mother on her last days at Medical City. I’m hoping it will help you as much as it has helped me.
Early one morning, I got a call from Mark asking me if I could ask my dad to pray for his mom. She had been fighting cancer for many years, praying, getting healed, improving, relapsing, and suffering again, but always in faith, and always with that peace beyond all understanding. My dad couldn’t go so I went instead. Mark is a friend, and his mom, Tita Charrie, is an amazing woman. I had visited her before when she could still talk, and she was always very engaging and hopeful. But that morning, when I walked into her room I knew something was very different. Her family was not there during the short period that I visited, they had to do a few things but were on their way back, so it was just Tita Charrie, the nurse, and I. My heart sank leaving a hollow feeling on my chest. And through that pit drained the little faith I had left.
I thought to myself, “God, how could you let this happen? Where is the reward of faith? Where are the answers to prayers?”
I couldn’t bring myself to pray, it just didn’t seem like any of my petitions would be answered anyway. So I sat down at the bench beside her bed, and leaned my head on the wall while I gathered myself. As I turned my head, to my right, sitting on the window ledge, I saw a tiny light violet clock. On its face was its brand: SAKURA.
Sakura. I recognized that word. I had encountered it many times on my trips to Japan. Sakura is what the Japanese call Cherry Blossoms, and every year thousands of people go out to see the Sakura in a tradition that is locally known as Hanami or “flower viewing”.
They celebrate because the Sakura, the Cherry Blossoms, represent spring. New life.
“Open your eyes, David. New life.”
I like how God can get His word through to even the most stubbornly deaf of people – people like me. He knows exactly what to say and He knows exactly how to get your attention.
So I leaned forward, put my hand on her leg, and prayed a simple prayer, because the complex ones seem to be beyond me, “Father, bring new life to this situation.” I can’t forget how she turned her head to look at me, smiling through the tube in her mouth, she lifted her arm slightly and waved. Looking back, she was probably saying goodbye, saying it the way we do to friends we know we’re going to see again.
I left that morning reminded of what Tita Charrie always knew, that even as the seasons change and bring many things to an end, because life and all it contains is fleeting, there is a Spring that ushers in new life, an amazing life without end.
Ladies & Gentlemen Your Response Please
Once in a while, we find the past making an appearance in our present. Like a movie flashback we find ourselves reliving a memory long dormant and forgotten.
That’s exactly how I felt standing in front of one of the halls in Teachers Camp, Baguio. As I looked through the dusty windows of the empty room, I remembered very vividly a scene from many year back as a young nervous boy:
It was the night of the camp ball, I had been selected Mr. Campference, and as is the tradition, I was to have the first dance with the year’s Ms. Campference - a much taller girl. Growing up, I was always the smallest in my class. I was tiny come to think of it. I can’t begin to describe how scared I was to walk out there and dance with a giant of a female in front of everyone. To me, back then, that was the scariest moment of my life.
I still feel that way, like a schoolboy dancing with responsibilities much too big for him. Sometimes as the music plays, the weight of supporting her through the dizzying turns and steps can get very tiring.
People ask, “Why take on responsibility in the first place? Why bear the burden for others? Why complicate your life?” I don’t really have an answer for them. I see responsibility differently.
To me, to be responsible is to respond. Respond to what? To the needs of people around us and also to the opportunities presented. It’s like that yema boy I wrote about, who, without saying a word, asked me, “David. David. Your response please?” Or when I was asked to join Habitat for Humanity or Real LIFE, “David. David. Your response please?” How do you know that you’re the one to respond? You’ll know if you’re listening, because need and opportunity call you by name. But you have to be listening because everyday there are calls coming out for help, for food, for a chance, for forgiveness, for leadership, for strength, for hope, for love. There’s so many calls that you’re bound to hear one calling you specifically and you can’t miss it, because it’s saying your name over and over and it’s asking, “your response please.”
So for those of you responding I’d like to encourage you with what I shared in Baguio, in that same room that once scared me. Here are 5 short points on HOW to respond.
1. Make love our motivation – While we respond to need and opportunity, let it be our love for people or our passion for a concern or cause that drives us. There are so many needs and so much opportunity, a good way to know which one is for us is to check our hearts and ask ourselves, “Do I love this?”
2. Make vision our guide – To respond to a need or opportunity usually means to enter a situation that’s not ideal – probably far from ideal – and that’s why there’s a need or opportunity in the first place. There’s something missing, something we can bring to the picture. That’s why we have to see the big and greater picture, a picture we remind ourselves when things get challenging – and they always will because nothing worth doing is without challenge.
3. Make discipline our practice – Our passion and our vision should lead to consistent action. This is one area I need a lot of improvement in. It’s nice and fun to be involved in something we like. It’s nice and fun to dream big. But it’s the daily steps and ceaseless plodding that takes us closer and closer to these targets. Unless love and vision are applied in action, they will never produce the masterpieces they were intended to create.
4. Make joy your strength – There is a different energy that comes over us when we’re enjoying what we’re doing. Our work becomes fun, and what’s fun we can sustain longer. Responsibilities don’t always have to be tiring and tedious. We can enjoy the growth, the learning, the discovery, and relationships.
5. Make faith your hope – No matter how motivated we are, no matter how grand or precise our vision, no matter how disciplined we are, and no matter how much satisfaction we derive, we will all face a challenge that’s much much much bigger than us. This is why we need faith in God, that we know we can place our hope in Him and trust that what is too big for us will never be too big for Him, not our responsibilities, not our limitations, not our sins, not our failures, nothing.
As we traveled back to Manila after just 6 hours in Baguio, I was filled with gratefulness to God for even including me in this amazing thing He has designed called life. I know I don’t deserve a spot on the team. I would never make the cut. When I’m very honest with myself I’m reminded, that if I were to take them, I’d fail the leadership test, the integrity test, the faith test, and the excellence test. But that’s the amazing thing. Despite all my shortcomings, there’s a call with my name on it, and it’s not asking if I’m ready. It’s asking for a response.
Hanging On Half A Dream
Woke up from half a dream
Half a dream of you
Woke up to reality
Alone in the dark
Lay awake in memory
Of half a dream apart
Can’t You See?
I
I found my hopes and my dreams
In your eyes
I
I found a treasure
Trapped in disguise
There is no time
There is no place
I’d rather be,
Than right now
Right here
With you
Maybe it’s a heart that was once broken
Maybe it’s a promise not kept
Maybe it’s a hope you lost forever
Maybe it’s your fear of what’s ahead
Maybe a million things
But can’t you see
They brought you here to me
I
I had every reason
Not to try
But I
I knew that love would be strong
And defy
Because there is no heart
There is no face
I’d rather hold,
Than yours
In my hands
Tonight
Maybe it’s a dream you wish you’d woken
But didn’t and now regret
Maybe it’s a step you should have taken
Maybe it’s a shame you can’t forget
Maybe a million things
But can’t you see
They brought you here to me
Can’t you see what I see?
We were meant to be
